Porn has ruined my mental state

Raybell97

Raybell97

New Fapstronaut
Hi im very sorry if this post is all over the place im 22 male ive been addicted to porn for probably almost 10 years it started with straight porn then trans then pegging then sissy and CDs and then led to gay. Porn has caused me to do things i would of never done before im on sex chat sites gay and straight looking for people to do the things i saw in the porn i never did any of that till porn well out of no where i went into a full on panic attack because i keep thinking im gay it scares me ive never thought like this before i was able to watch gay porn and get hard to women till the panic attacks now i have butterflies in my chest and stomache and cant go out in public with out freaking out ive lost control of who i am as a person i cant think about anything else without thinking if it makes me gay i question everything i do now because im scared ill become gay i have no problem with gays at all what scares me the most is that i try to imagine me fucking another women or a vagina in genral and the thoughts either turn gay or i question myself sometimes my balls and ass will tingle and then blood rushes to my dick just enough to leave a bugle in my pants when the gay thoughts are present ive had sex with women i lost my virginty at 16 at church camp and loved it i catch myself looking at women and men trying to see if i get hard or not im also a Christian and obviously i know GOD says men shall not lay with another man so that gives added stress and fear to this situation as i want to get into heaven IM IN DIRE NEED FOR HELP I DONT KNOW WHO I AM ANY MORE all i want to do is lay in bed and watch porn or be on sex chat sites and ive never use to do these things i know im not this person ive become im in the middle of actually getting my life together i cant control my self or my thoughts all i want to do is cry im disgusted and ashamed with myself i want to go back to my normal life before porn im scared that my thoughts will be reality my minds a Dark Prison Cell i want to escape im also scared these thoughts of me being gay will drive me to suicide it hasnt yet but i want to handle this problem now before i get to that point i have also been up for 24 hours and haven't really eaten or drank in probably a little over a week now
 
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Hello and welcome! :)

We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

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- If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
 
Hey & Welcome to NoFap Community! :)

You are in the right place for recovery here. We are so glad to have you with us to beat this addiction together.

You can go read some Success Stories in the "Success Stories" section to learn more about the benefits of NoFap , get useful tips and ideas to help you in the reboot.

If you have any question about rebooting, you can ask it in the "Rebooting" section.


And I would recommend you to make your own journal in the "Reboot logs" corresponding to your gender & age to track your everyday progress.
You can also join challenges in the "Events & Challenges" section, to keep yourself motivated and focused.




You may start by checking the links below:
Learn more about Rebooting.
Forum Usage Guide.
List of Rebooting Ressources.
Glossary of terms used in NoFap community.




Best of luck to you in your journey!





-The Winner
 
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