Porn has ruined my mental state

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Raybell97, Jun 20, 2019.

  1. Raybell97

    Raybell97 New Fapstronaut

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    Hi im very sorry if this post is all over the place im 22 male ive been addicted to porn for probably almost 10 years it started with straight porn then trans then pegging then sissy and CDs and then led to gay. Porn has caused me to do things i would of never done before im on sex chat sites gay and straight looking for people to do the things i saw in the porn i never did any of that till porn well out of no where i went into a full on panic attack because i keep thinking im gay it scares me ive never thought like this before i was able to watch gay porn and get hard to women till the panic attacks now i have butterflies in my chest and stomache and cant go out in public with out freaking out ive lost control of who i am as a person i cant think about anything else without thinking if it makes me gay i question everything i do now because im scared ill become gay i have no problem with gays at all what scares me the most is that i try to imagine me fucking another women or a vagina in genral and the thoughts either turn gay or i question myself sometimes my balls and ass will tingle and then blood rushes to my dick just enough to leave a bugle in my pants when the gay thoughts are present ive had sex with women i lost my virginty at 16 at church camp and loved it i catch myself looking at women and men trying to see if i get hard or not im also a Christian and obviously i know GOD says men shall not lay with another man so that gives added stress and fear to this situation as i want to get into heaven IM IN DIRE NEED FOR HELP I DONT KNOW WHO I AM ANY MORE all i want to do is lay in bed and watch porn or be on sex chat sites and ive never use to do these things i know im not this person ive become im in the middle of actually getting my life together i cant control my self or my thoughts all i want to do is cry im disgusted and ashamed with myself i want to go back to my normal life before porn im scared that my thoughts will be reality my minds a Dark Prison Cell i want to escape im also scared these thoughts of me being gay will drive me to suicide it hasnt yet but i want to handle this problem now before i get to that point i have also been up for 24 hours and haven't really eaten or drank in probably a little over a week now
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2019
  2. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

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    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
  3. Xaviar.marshall

    Xaviar.marshall Fapstronaut

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    Hey bro we are in the same boat but I have not traveled into gay porn...but I have don't trany, hentai, brutal porn, 3d porn etc.
    What makes it worse Is that I'm only 17..i recently have been on a never ending trend of non stop fapping..i would do it at one point in the day then 2 times in the same day.
    I don't remember my life before porn. I don't really remember my childhood. As far as I can Remember is I had a crush on a girl in 5 th grade and my teacher..this girl was bullied and I thought she was beautiful for a 5th greater and my teacher. And now everytime I'm about to fap or im turned on i can't stop thinking about girls. I never even think about a dude, but when I'm done I'm back to hunched over my phone and secluded to my thoughts. In my head going threw my memories and asking my self if I am attracted to girls or boys... i am still a virgin and I have had my first kiss which was with a girl..but i have not recently had a girl friend. I have not had one my whole high school career. But i was that dude to chase females i liked, like to the ends of the earth
     
  4. Always be positive

    Always be positive Fapstronaut

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  5. Hey & Welcome to NoFap Community! :)

    You are in the right place for recovery here. We are so glad to have you with us to beat this addiction together.

    You can go read some Success Stories in the "Success Stories" section to learn more about the benefits of NoFap , get useful tips and ideas to help you in the reboot.

    If you have any question about rebooting, you can ask it in the "Rebooting" section.


    And I would recommend you to make your own journal in the "Reboot logs" corresponding to your gender & age to track your everyday progress.
    You can also join challenges in the "Events & Challenges" section, to keep yourself motivated and focused.




    You may start by checking the links below:
    Learn more about Rebooting.
    Forum Usage Guide.
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    Best of luck to you in your journey!





    -The Winner
     

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