Porn images as intrusive thoughts

I just cant stop to obsess about all of this, gay porn didn’t arouse me like all other porn but it did a little and when i get this thoughts i feel this tingling or sweilling sensation and im struck with anxiety, like I cant breath sometimes, I remeber trying to masturbate to gay porn and it felt like it was stronger although i couldnt keep a proper erection i felt like i was going to finish it off in seconds, maybe because of the anxiety right? When i watch regular porn im relaxed. Im fixated about this.

 

I dont have homosexual feelings or desires out of porn, just intrusive thoughts and groinal responses and im not completely turned on by gay porn it is the least arousing category without a doubt and well I have obsessive compulsion disorder thats why im anxious, I do admit that im not a hundred percent straight but im not interested in having sexual or romantic relations with another dude but the intrusive thoughts are just restless, I used to obsess about being or becoming violent and now i obsses about sexuality, porn made it stronger or atleast triggered it and im not happy, if i was gay or bi i would gladly live as a gay or bi man but im just not it, well at least i think im not.