Porn in moderation? No extreme?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by rockstarsteves, Dec 28, 2017.

  1. rockstarsteves

    rockstarsteves Fapstronaut

    19
    13
    3
    Just curious - has anyone here rebooted and learned to occasionally enjoy porn in moderation while being mindful to put their energy and time towards more productive habbits? I see a lot of all or nothing on the boards

    I'm loving how things are when i'm away from porn
    but as a fetishist (before porn) - sometimes the only way to indulge would be through fantasy and not always a partner - esp if i'm single for a period of time

    thoughts?
     
    ControlV likes this.
  2. Big Lebowski

    Big Lebowski Fapstronaut

    1,008
    2,652
    143
    Not if you are addicted and have brain related addiction changes as a result.
     
  3. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

    1,006
    765
    113
    looking other peoples fucking is not a good thing in my opinion. It's....wierd.
     
  4. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    I don't think moderate pornography use will ever be possible for me.

    A related issue is the use of movies and images that are not technically pornographic but still excite the brain similarly.
     
    LilD and (deleted member) like this.
  5. Rob_B_

    Rob_B_ Fapstronaut

    Smoking in moderation is not particularly harmful; nicotine in small doses can even be good for you. 'Moderation' here means, say, one cigarette every couple of weeks. Do you know many smokers like that? No, didn't think so. Addictions have a nasty habit of starting fairly innocently, and getting worse quickly.

    Besides, what good, according to you, would come from 'enjoying' porn, even occasionally? Wouldn't you rather be out there doing that stuff with a real person?
     
  6. MarkTT52947

    MarkTT52947 Fapstronaut

    185
    171
    43
    Porn is not moderate. It is antisexual. It is unrealistic. It is unnatural and organizes your sexual and emotional life around unreal things. It rewires your brain around unnatural crap and reduces the ability of your sexual organs to respond to sexual interaction with other people. It puts you into a pattern of interaction with a machine and pictures instead of with life on this planet.

    Nothing moderate about it
     
  7. Porn Free Wanderer

    Porn Free Wanderer Fapstronaut

    464
    963
    93
    I've tried this approach. I've tried it many times, and every time I did, it failed miserably. Sure, it's okay for a while, maybe a few days. But eventually the time comes when I end up having a binge because I figure "Oh, it's not that bad, really".

    If nobody else is recommending this approach, there's probably a reason for that.
     
  8. thorswrath32

    thorswrath32 Fapstronaut

    562
    1,151
    123
    Nope, that's like an alcoholic or a drug addict saying 'I'll just use once a month, i'll be fine' been there, thought that, tried it and failed time and time again. The only way is abstinence. It is difficult at first to get to grips with the fact you can never use again (porn, drugs, etc) Once you are a problem user, compulsive user or addict there really isn't such a thing as 'moderate use' the only thing that is likely to happen if you try to convince yourself you can do it moderately (presuming you have a problem with compulsive use) is that it will get worse, more often and the consequences will be more severe the longer you indulge because of the other areas of life which will be neglected.
     
  9. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    I'm also a recovering alcoholic. 25+ years. Nothing moderate about that, it's all or nothing.

    Given my progression through various genres, and how much more desire to keep doing it that I had when I've been doing porn, I've got a bad feeling that moderation doesn't work for porn, either.
     
  10. Porn Killer

    Porn Killer Fapstronaut

    68
    99
    18
    I think I’ll moderately use heroine.
    Sorry, porn is always bad. It’s not good or ok in any amount.
    Addiction can often make us ask questions like this.
    “I’m sure I’m ok if I just look every so often”. It’s your brain trying to find a reason to relapse. Don’t give in.
     
    Porn Free Wanderer likes this.
  11. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

    684
    814
    93
    I sometimes think I could use it in moderation, just my mind coming up with ideas, not always good....

    But one of my main goals is to successfully meet and date a girl. And at that point, I won't give a flying F about screen images.
     
  12. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Normally on threads like this (about masturbation say) I like to wade in and put the opposite point of view. I like to talk about the experimental nature of this site: reading what works for others and journaling what works and what doesn’t work for you. I like to point out that it’s your journey, your reboot, and so you set the parameters and the goals.

    But I cannot say all that stuff about porn-in-moderation because I agree with everyone else. Porn is wrong: wrong for me, wrong for you, and wrong for the world. If you’ve reached a point in your reboot where you can control the urges then don’t tempt yourself back in.
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2018
  13. pytwd

    pytwd New Fapstronaut

    1
    1
    3
    I have been going NoFap for a couple of weeks, then having a PMO night. So about twice a month. Sometimes less. And so far...the next night the depression starts, and for the next week I really get hit with a depressive bout. But its that porn depression....feels way more fatalistic, and painful. Loss of interest in things, and really hopeless thinking and feels. It feels like my vitality as a living breathing person has been replaced with cold rusted metal, that has no soul and has no future.

    Depressive or down times when I am going NoFap, are manageable. And it feels like it adds up, like the bad mood makes sense and i can see where it came from and how to get out of it. It has context, and i dont feel cut off from my own soul. Much different than the porn hangover. So for now...I am learning that Any Porn session has bad consequences....and as of now it looks like the couple to 4 hours of PMO is not worth the next week of existential annihilation.

    That said...I am noting , that when i did have a PMO night....i went like 4 hours. Not good. This could be a major factor. I did keep myself to an hour at one point in my life.....I cant remember if it was better or not. But I guess I could try it.

    If 1 hour....once or twice a month, still gives me the crash for days, or even longer than the PMO was....Its just not worth it...and for me thats proof thats its doing nothing for me. Not even like, a nice treat or something. Its just straight of damaging me.

    For now I am looking at figuring out how to stay off. The problem is that ....there comes a time in the future when i feel great and the bad times and a distant memory and I want to have a little PMO again. And still I don't have the beyond a doubt feeling that this is something I have to quit forever. I dunno, it sort of scares me. I wish I could settle it in my brain. I dont know why its such a debate. I guess thats the addictiveness. Its so pleasurable that leaving it behind is hard to think about.

    And i dont know if i should look for something else to replace that. I mean Ive always been a sexual person, as a young kid i remember being really curious about my body and really enjoying sexual things. So in a way...I look at that side of myself as something fun i really enjoy. And porn became a part of that feeling. That is was just a sexual outlet that really took my over the moon.

    And when it got out of hand, and life aspirations also made me feel I was giving it too much of my energy. I cut it back. It was a challenge and has been going on for years.....But I am happily confident that the level I am at now could be sustainable. I am really proud I have gotten it down to once or twice a month and feeling like i can maintain that indefinitely and would like too. But I dont know about quitting.

    I mean maybe there are other sexual things i can do that are just as fun but dont have those consequences. I written a bit of erotic fiction and thats fun, i cant imagine writing would be able to over stimulate the brain too bad. MAybe its just about avoiding that artificial electronic level of stimulation. Maybe my brains just sensitive.

    Of course having a partner and having real sex is a great solve too. But really at this point in my life I am just trying to build up a career and actually I am totally not in a place to date right now...So i would like to have an enjoyable time every now and then by myself. Does that mean just MO only with my thoughts. I dont know . But I do need to find out what its going to be.

    I cant create this type of downer depression in my life. Its really damaging. Kind of ranted here, hope its helpful, i know this is an old thread.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  14. Uncomfortably Numb

    Uncomfortably Numb Fapstronaut

    605
    628
    93
    Porn in moderation MAY and I repeat MAY be harmless in a regular person's life. However we are all addicts therefore it will NEVER, yes NEVER harmless for us
     
    Brooklyn Jerry69 and TheManDude like this.
  15. Fap 5 Freddy

    Fap 5 Freddy Fapstronaut

    205
    365
    63
    This is classic addict thought. I know because I went through this phase of thinking myself. There is no point in our future where we will need porn. It's best to give it up. If you are on this site, the chances are that you are having problems with your addictive behaviour.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  16. Fap 5 Freddy

    Fap 5 Freddy Fapstronaut

    205
    365
    63
    I know this way of thinking. Every bit of it.
    I'm a sexual person it's just fun - check
    If I quit for a few months then I can do it again but control it - check
    Not sure if I want to or need to quit forever - check
    can't imagine living without porn once in a while - check
    The level I'm at now is sustainable - check
    Writing erotica is maybe a substitute - check
    Need it because I'm too busy to date - check

    This is the addicted sexually obsessed brain rationalising - making up reasons for not quitting because quitting is too scary. I've done it all. I wish someone said this to me but I was too stubborn and needed to find out the hard way. Porn will give you more and more problems the more you use it. Quit it. It will be difficult, but it's so unhealthy for you mentally, spiritually, and you end up lying to yourself and tricking yourself about how it's ok to use sometimes. You will be doing yourself a big favour if you just grow up and decide you have outgrown porn.
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2018
  17. Brooklyn Jerry69

    Brooklyn Jerry69 Fapstronaut

    1,036
    1,076
    143
    Grown up and outgrown it.I like that thought. I used to drink on occasion and did use drugs recreationally . Stopped drinking because I didn't like the hangovers. I stopped using drugs due to drug testing at my job. I always thought when I retired I would at least smoke pot. Since I retired almost 16 years ago I may have smoked pot maybe 5 times,seems I did outgrow the feeling for it.
    I don't hope to outgrow the desire to have sex,but at my age I have gotten to the point where there is only so much oil left in the lamp,best to save it for when it's really needed.
     

Share This Page