Porn Induced Gender Dysphoria?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Deleted Account, Feb 20, 2018.

  1. I was curious if anyone else can share experiences with this. I'm a woman, so my experience might be different, but I'm curious if anyone has had feelings of gender dysphoria that have passed since quitting PMO?

    I don't have feelings of dysphoria in general, like in daily life. I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin, as a woman. But sexually...

    I find myself getting turned on by thoughts of have a penis, being inside a woman or even just masturbating that way, and thrusting

    These thoughts make me uncomfortable. I mean, in the moment they are pleasurable thoughts, but later I feel weird and like it's not normal for me to be thinking about that stuff. I'm just curious if anyone can else can relate and commiserate a bit, or if anyone has any success stories of overcoming this kind of thing.
     
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  2. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    This seems to be semi common. A simple Google search will show you heaps of women asking about this. I don't think it's that weird considering the majority of women are slightly bisexual and have desires to be with other women in that way. I knew a woman that would go to sex parties and emulate being a man with her friends using certain objects (toys). Its not as abnormal as you think...
     
  3. That's reassuring. I don't necessarily feel like it's abnormal though. I just feel like I'm not sure if it's "wrong," like morally, to think about those things. Which I guess would highly depend on one's moral beliefs. Most people would say there's nothing wrong with it.
     
  4. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    If it's a bothersome thing (like my weird thoughts are) then the best you can do is avoid all things that trigger those thoughts. Not sure if your thoughts are PMO induced but PMO gave me & my GF crazy thoughts and interests that are hard to shake. I've tried not to think about my main kink/problem and I've avoided all triggering material, so far I'm losing interest in it I think. People would say to me "meh your fetish isn't that weird some guys like that" but I'd rather not be lumped in with guys that are into all that weird creepy stuff so I know how you feel... lol if you're getting feelings of "this is wrong" then it's probably something you should work on. I wish you all the best :)
     
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  5. Well that's good, I'm glad you're seeing some progress. Thanks for sharing! I think I need to be better about not encouraging those thoughts, if I actually want them to go away
     
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  6. ukbritishbloke

    ukbritishbloke Fapstronaut

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    I think some of the guys overcoming femdom and the "sissy" fetish may relate to this. It seems as if porn is inducing in them ideas about gender and transition.
     
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  7. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    Hi Cass,

    Take a look at the following link:

    https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/gender-dysphoria/symptoms/

    I used to speak at length with a girl on skype that I happened to meet here on nofap, so she told me a lot what she was experiencing in terms of gender dysphoria. She used to shave her head, tattoo herself and was addicted to 'gay' - guy on guy porn. These thoughts would not be 'just' a passing sexual kink, these thoughts would consume her everyday, in her mannerisms and the way should would act, from when she was a child. I remember she was having a melt down with me on skype because she wanted to transition. Of course I told her I'd support her whatever she decided.

    I'm guessing what you have is just a sexual kink, in that those other symptoms do NOT manifest itself in your day to day life? Personally, I feel that porn itself is geared towards the penetration side of things, that's why you get close ups of penetration, hell sometimes the directors don't even bother with face shots, its all about the angles, which kinda makes porn some faceless voyeuristic act.

    Questions to ask yourself, are you really imagining yourself as the guy or are you swapping between the two, from the guy to the girl. I'm guessing it is more of the latter where you're getting turned on by both the 'thrusting' and 'penetration' but your brain is having difficulty figuring out what it is you're getting turned on by.

    Either way I don't think it is anything to worry about. Why not reach out to Catriona Rose for further advice?
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2018
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  8. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    I remember reading a lot of guys including myself search for big d*cks in porn, and at some point I was wondering, hang on a second am I getting turned on by the big d*ck or the act of a girl getting penetrated by a big d*ck. I realised it certainly was the latter as opposed to the former, because the image by itself didn't do anything for me.
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2018
  9. Yes, that's correct. I definitely have no desire to transition or be a man, in general. It's just a sexual thing.

    I talked to my AP about it a lot today. I think it's actually less unusual than I thought, because I actually think it might be due to me getting a lot of pleasure from the man in the situation being pleasured. So maybe it's not so much that I actually want to *be* the man, but that it's arousing to imagine how men receive pleasure. Which now that I realize that, that doesn't sound that strange at all. That seems like a pretty natural thing for a woman to be aroused by.

    Yeah, porn just really screws with you so much more than you realize. When you think about it, there's no natural situation in which a heterosexual man would be watching another man naked or having sex. So even if you're watching it for the girl, the guy is still there, and that's not a normal, natural thing that a heterosexual man would ever normally experience. The psychology of how porn effects your brain is so interesting to me, and I find it absolutely insane that anyone can deny how harmful its effects can be.

    I think porn has also made me far further on the bisexual scale than I would be naturally, although I do think I've always had an attraction to girls as well as guys. But that I'm not as concerned about as the gender confusion stuff. But I think I'm less concerned about either now, honestly. In dissecting my feelings more and talking to my AP, I've discovered I don't think my feelings are as problematic as I thought.
     
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  10. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    That's great to hear Cassie, it's always good getting other opinions so to speak. But yeah this is exactly how 'sissy porn' messes with people's head. Of course I had never heard of it (sissy porn) except on nofap and I went to click it out of curiosity.

    And the whole thing was messed up. Like it shows you images of what a guy would naturally be aroused to but underneath in text it says, 'Are you sure you want to be the guy or the girl?' *obviously in more explicit language.*

    And there is a weird hypnotic vibe going on. Needless to say I clicked out of that in a hurry.

    Hope things work out for ya, but I personally think this is just a blip in the road and what others have already testified too. Nothing new, just keep, keeping on as they say. Hope you have a great day!
     
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  11. Thanks Tweebs;)
     
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  12. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    No worries, please don't hesitate to PM me if you want to discuss anything! My door is always open. What's up with the forums they seem really slow like someone is spamming it or something? Haha
     
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  13. Hm... seems fine on my end
     
  14. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    Last year I went through a bit of a phase where I consumed a lot of
    gender change, genderbender, etc porn
    which I guess is kind of similar, these feelings faded very quickly though so its obvious it was just arousal from novelty and not anything more than that. If you are comfortable in your skin then I'm pretty sure it isn't really dysphoria, although I'm no expert I think dysphoria is supposed to be more unpleasant than you described. If anything I would say some degree of curiosity is normal for men and women.

    This is what I find to be the most interesting thing posted here, I can also relate, and while I'm not concerned about it per se it does confuse me, doubly so considering I'm an inexperienced virgin with no IRL frame of reference to use as a way of telling if my feelings are normal or porn-induced. I've gone on long streaks, short streaks, binged, tried to moderate PMO, and to be honest while they do fade on long streaks the feelings dont completely go away. I just wish I could know for certain if I was always like this or if I have permanently altered myself through nearly a decade of heavy porn use.
     
  15. Mmm, yeah, that can be really annoying to not know. :/ but rest assured, if you're bi, it doesn't really matter much at all. It doesn't have to effect your life much if you don't want it to.

    For me, personally, being in a homosexual relationship would be against my personal and religious beliefs, and I'm already married to a man, so it doesn't really effect my life much that I also find women hot. That's the perk of being bi, as opposed to gay, I suppose. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of being with a man for some other reason, you still like girls, so you don't have to change that if you don't want to. I don't think it's anything worth worrying about. :)
     
  16. From my own observations, I agree, I don't think it's something you have to worry about as long as you relapse to porn that fits your sexuality. Obviously, don't relapse at all, but I think a straight guy that watched lesbian porn wouldn't have this problem in the slightest.

    That's my theory, anyway. I watched lesbian porn a lot before I knew about NoFap and I never had this problem.

    And yeah, I wouldn't call it dysphoria since most people don't seem to be heavily affected by this, if it even affects them at all. I think it could be some kind of porn-induced anxiety. I mean you know you like men and you don't look at yourself in the mirror, constantly asking yourself the question "Am I gay?", do you?

    To me, it's just another symptom of having a messed up brain and a sign we've got to stay away from porn.
     
  17. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    You're right of course, I just get to wondering how things would be if I was never curious enough to start consuming the extreme porn in the first place, and whether or not I would feel the same if I hadn't (I'm willing to bet no). All porn is bad of course but I think its definitely a "chicken or the egg" scenario, all I can really do is hope that a long enough streak will give me answers.
     
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  18. tweeby

    tweeby Banned


    I don't think a straight guy that watches lesbian porn is a correct comparison. Well it certainly isn't like for like in my opinion. I haven't heard of any cases where guys watch lesbian porn and imagine being a woman. Now I've heard of cases where a guy is watching man and girl porn and imagines being the girl. Still I don't know enough to say for sure. I know the girl I used to talk to was really into gay porn which seemed absurd as she identified as lesbian or trans. But it was only after discussing it with her I could see how. Like I remember she linked me to a video of two trans f2m getting together. And I was initially like wtf, why go trans if you're gonna date a girl who looks like a guy? Then she went on about them being pansexual. It made sense but still needed time to sink in I guess
     
  19. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    The only conclusion is. This isn't black and white. Well at least empirically the evidence doesn't stack up in favour for being conclusive.
     
  20. Most of said evidence is anecdotal anyways, but I think you misunderstood me. I said that a straight guy that watched lesbian porn his whole life would likely not suffer from this. I mean, he's watching what he's attracted to get it on. I don't see why he would imagine being the woman. You're speaking to an example of this scenario now. I've watched lesbian porn a lot and I never had this problem. But this is anecdotal.

    However, if a straight guy that watches porn from, say, the woman's point of view or gender bender porn, he might start to.

    I agree, it isn't black and white. Nothing is. There could be many more things that cause such a feeling.
     
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