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Porn induced HOCD

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Matty007, May 9, 2017.

  1. I am not challenging this, but can you explain how and why please?
     
  2. BoBo129

    BoBo129 Guest

    @IGY
    People with ADHD tend to have more sexissues than those without ADHD—difficulty focusing during sex, an increased rate of risky sexual behaviors, and a need for sexual novelty. Ari Tuckman Psy.D., MBA, a psychologist, ADHD specialist, and author of three books on ADHD, including More Attention, Less Deficit: Success Strategies for Adults with ADHD, tells us more about how ADHD impacts sex lives—and what to do about it.

    People in happy relationships tend to have more sex, but ADHD (especially when undiagnosed and untreated) can negatively impact a couple's happiness. It's hard to feel sexually attracted to and generous with someone that you are angry at. It's also possible that sex just gets squeezed out of the day because one or both partners run out of time or energy.

    How often do people with ADHD experience difficulties or stress related to sex?

    People with ADHD have the same difficulties with sex as people without ADHD, but perhaps more often or more intensely. I call this the ADHD multiplier: the ADHD multiplies the difficulties, but doesn't really create unique problems that others aren't also experiencing. Many of the sexual problems for these folks isn't about sex per se, but about the relationship struggles that undermine a satisfying sex life.

    How common of an issue is sex addiction, including porn addiction, in ADHD?

    There is some debate as to whether one can actually be addicted to sex or porn, but what is clear is that people with ADHD tend to have more difficulties with problematic sexual behavior. This can include making impulsivesexual choices, with all the consequences that that can bring. People who are thrill-seekers (such as some people with the hyperactiveand impulsive symptoms of ADHD) are more likely to engage in problematic sexual behaviors, including over-using pornography.

    What treatments do you recommend for a person with ADHD whose high sex drive has lead to difficulties in their current relationship? Is individual therapy or couples therapy recommended?

    Depending on the severity of the situation, it would probably be helpful to engage in both couples and individual therapy, for both partners. I would first want to address the ADHD, probably with medication, and be sure that there are no other conditions here, such as bipolar disorder. I would also want to explore with the client what is driving that high sex drive. For some it's simply that they have a biologically higher sex drive. If this is the case, I would want to work with the couple to help them decide how this is to be handled in the relationship, what kinds of sexual behaviors are acceptable or not, etc. The couple needs to negotiate this out and find a solution that works for both partners. However, if some of that high sex drive comes from the person's attempts to self-medicate and feel better, for example when bored or frustrated, then I would want to work with that client on more effective ways of dealing with uncomfortable feelings and situations
     
  3. that has been a common theme here to the point I think there should be a subforum for it. and at the yourbrainonporn.com articles show a similar pattern AND after rebooting those desires going away.

    the porn i looked at had little or nothing to do with whom i found attractive 'on the street' or it might be better to say that what i found attractive on the street soon stopped working with p and p subs.

    I also have a personal theory that masturbation and sexual fantasies can be highly symbolic and not reflect real life tastes.

    Also I think too much focusing on self stimulation - you assocaite arousal with YOUR erection and nothing else... no woman no partner and that could lead to 'penis centered' fantasies if that makes any sense...
     
  4. BoBo129

    BoBo129 Guest

    @ivanhoe A lot of people have been talking about escalated tastes. You do have a point on that. So when I do my fully reboot all this stuff will go away. I just need help getting over that traumatic homosexual experience that my porn addiction had me act out. I know I'm not gay or bi. I beat all the other HOCD but when the HOCD uses that homosexual experience against me it gets me frustrated.
     
    ivanhoe likes this.
  5. BoBo129

    BoBo129 Guest

  6. I know it's easy to say ' try not to get anxious about it' but you have to do just that. Stop taking 'tests' to 'make sure' you're not gay.

    You decide your orientation. If you say you're straight you are. Period. Take the steps to rewire and move on. The way to really show you regret that incident is to NOT let it control you.

    Use the brainlock technique when you do get the thoughts ' oh that's my hocd talking'
     
    LivinginRecovery likes this.
  7. BoBo129

    BoBo129 Guest

  8. ICDI

    ICDI Fapstronaut

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    Sounds exactly whats been happening to a lot of us for many many many dreadful years now, stay away from porn, accept the thoughts, your thoughts tell you your gay say in your head yes I am gay so what , therefore you attacked fear with fear itself
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  9. diddykong

    diddykong Fapstronaut

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    Agree. Compulsive routines (such as checking whether or not you're gay, looking for evidence that you're straight) are part of the disorder (hence why it's called obsessive-compulsive disorder). They may feel soothing sometimes (that's why our brain sets them up) but they escalate and you spend more time doing compulsive behaviours to deal with the anxiety that the compulsive behaviours cause. They also reinforce the abnormal obsessions so you end up in a vicious cycle of having obsessions and then using compulsions to deal with the anxiety that the obsessions cause.

    Eventually, you will want to get to a mental state where you can accept that you might be gay without that thought causing anxiety. This might well take a long time but when you can think that without getting anxiety then the OCD will go. It might sound crazy but it's just the same as someone with a cleaning OCD accepting the fact that their hands might well be dirty. We know that they are not but to break the abnormal mindset of OCD (my hands are dirty so I need to wash them) you have to be able to accept the counter (my hands might be dirty but I'm OK with it).
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2017
    ivanhoe likes this.
  10. Thank you BoBo. Very informative.

    Would I be right in saying that the medication mentioned would be a stimulant? If so, how would that help to mitigate a high sex drive. On the face of it, it would seem to be another magnifier. How about the OCD question?
     
  11. Matty007

    Matty007 Fapstronaut

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    I understand what your saying but I don't like and hate saying in my mind that I might be gay because I know I'm not I'm lieing to myself saying this and it doesn't work it only makes it worse but anyway I'm on day 5 and it's getting better ive slowly started to realise that I'm straight and not gay at all
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  12. diddykong

    diddykong Fapstronaut

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    You need to give it time, it will take time to get there. When I started battling this it felt like I would never get through it but I kept relabelling and what I found was that with time I was relabelling less and less assertively - whereas at first I had to scream it over and over, now whenever I get an OCD thought a quick "this is OCD" usually makes it go away.

    That discord between your rational and OCD brain is what causes the anxiety which on turn perpetuates the OCD. You should be able to say to yourself that you could be gay without that causing anxiety - you're only saying words after all. You don't need to think that you're gay but more that the thought of it doesn't make you anxious. Once you can get to that place then you'll have truly overcome OCD.

    OCDs biggest hold on you is that thing that makes you anxious. The inevitable goal is to break it down so OCD has nothing to hold over you. Keep relabelling those thoughts and one day I'm sure you'll look back on this post and get what I'm talking about! ☺️
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2017
    Deleted Account likes this.
  13. Matty007

    Matty007 Fapstronaut

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    Just relapsed after 5 days wish I didn't masturbate now. I was watching some pranks on YouTube and ended up watching girls kissing pranks it got me supper horny and ended up masturbating on porn I'll be starting from day 1 tomorrow and will but into account of this and learn from it.
     
  14. BoBo129

    BoBo129 Guest

  15. Matty007

    Matty007 Fapstronaut

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    It's going quite good actually the thoughts have slowly began to decrease and stop but I still do get the occasional thought about being gay or turning gay but I pass it off as ocd and it doesn't really seem to bother me I think I'm slowly realising that I'm not gay after all
     
  16. BoBo129

    BoBo129 Guest

    @Matty007 Thats good. Just remember your thoughts will go away. It will be all over soon.
     
  17. Matty007

    Matty007 Fapstronaut

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    Today I had a wet dream in the morning my dream was 2 naked girls about to have a threesome with me and I had a wet dream of it. Does this mean I have to start over with my pmo streak ? Is this a fail in no pmo ? And it feels like I have relapsed because of this wet dream ? And now I'm having thoughts if I'm bi again but I'm trying to pass it off as ocd for the time but I think it could be something to do with the wet dream any suggestions?
     
  18. BoBo129

    BoBo129 Guest

    You can't control your dreams so no. You're good. Just move on @Matty007
     
    Matty007 likes this.
  19. Matty007

    Matty007 Fapstronaut

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    Ok just feel like I've relapsed and if I watched some lesbian porn now would I be ruining my streak so far or will it not really effect it because I really want to watch some and masturbate to it
     
  20. BoBo129

    BoBo129 Guest

    Yes you will ruin it.
     

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