Porn induced HOCD

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Matty007, May 9, 2017.

  1. LivinginRecovery

    LivinginRecovery Fapstronaut

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    I came here convinced I was heterosexual and that the gay porn I was watching had somehow warped me and although I cannot deny I do check out women and find them arousing I am beginning to see that there may very well be gay feelings within me too which frankly scares me but if it's a part of who I am then I must acknowledge that and not fight it or hinder it in any way. I have always had great gaydar and can spot gay men and lesbians and could do so even as a child. I have begun daydreaming about maybe making a life with another guy so this is all new territory for me. I shall just relax into things and see where my recovery takes me. I'm not going to panic about it anymore. There's nothing wrong with being gay. A percentage of every population in the world is made up of gay men/lesbians so I'm in good company. I'll deal with whatever happens. I'll know what I am down the line. I hope for others here that they find out what they are too, gay or straight and make peace with themselves within that.
     
  2. Matty007

    Matty007 Fapstronaut

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    I understand what your saying but being gay or bi isn't me and I know it's all just hocd and porn escalation but I get what you if you think your staright you probably are u cant turn gay
     
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  3. LivinginRecovery

    LivinginRecovery Fapstronaut

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    I'm not saying you are gay or bi. I wrote in my last sentence that I hope all of you regardless of sexual orientation find peace within yourselves. I am saying that I probably am not 100% straight and if that's how things work out for me then I'm okay with that.
     
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  4. Matty007

    Matty007 Fapstronaut

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    Oh yh would also like to add is watching girls kissing on YouTube actually count as porn even if the video is actually from a porn site but all they do is kiss ?
     
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  5. LivinginRecovery

    LivinginRecovery Fapstronaut

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    I would argue that if it has the potential within you to PMO then it would count as a porn substitute and be P-related in its scope.
     
  6. Matty007

    Matty007 Fapstronaut

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    Should I reset my pmo streak then ?
     
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  7. its important not to get anxious or panic about it, but in light of emerging neuroscience on brain remapping and mallable sexual tastes, we have the power to nurture or wither it.. the yourbrainonporn site has tons of good info on that and successful case studies.

    Just because you have an urge or fantasy, it doesn't define you. One problem with current society is we look at this as 'repression' whereas going back to the stoics, self control and self constraint were virtues.
    Very few people who have led successful satisfying lives and given into every whim, passion and fantasy they have... the focus on what they value and if something is in the way of that they get it out of their lives.

    We understand this with nurturing our bodies to get in shape, why don't we understand this about nurturing ourselves?
     
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  8. LivinginRecovery

    LivinginRecovery Fapstronaut

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    It's up to you. Only you can make that decision.
     
  9. BoBo129

    BoBo129 Guest

    @Matty007 @FappingHasRuinedMyLife is not telling you that you're gay or bi. He's just sharing his story and how he feels about HOCD. He's saying if does have feelings for guys he will accept it. He might be bi but he doesn't care.
     
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  10. BoBo129

    BoBo129 Guest

    @ivanhoe I read about it. I agree with you 100%. So many websites even stated what you just explained right now.
     
  11. diddykong

    diddykong Fapstronaut

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    Why are you watching it if it's not for arousal? If it's designed to arouse, it's doing the same thing to your brain as porn (and if it's from a porn video it's only designed to arouse - that's it's only purpose). I'd put it as a porn sub but if it's from a porn site then it probably is porn. Nontheless it does the same thing to your brain as porn.

    Don't be fooled by the fact it's on YouTube (my brain plays the same trick with me). There is so much porn on there it's unreal. I'd advise steering clear of it. It's probably OK if you're go there to watch one video (as long as it's not porn!) but the bored mindless link clicking will nearly always lead you down a bad road.

    BTW if you're battling HOCD then definitely stay away from watching girls kissing.
     
  12. If you're watching it to get aroused, then it's porn. Simple as.

    More generally, this group can't really set the rules for you. This whole thing is fairly arbitrary - we all quit what we feel is problematic for us individually. Set yourself strict criteria on what is/isn't ok and then be honest about when you succeed/fail.

    And as @diddykong said, watching girls kissing is a bad idea of you're dealing with HOCD. It's a form of 'testing' and the high you get from being aroused by it will only be a short buzz followed by the continued anxiety.
     
  13. true but a good self regulation rule is 'the three second rule' if its something that's arousing, even if you stumbled on it by accident don't dwell on it for more than three seconds..
     
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  14. Yeah that's a good rule. We aren't completely in control of what we come across, but we are in control of what we do when we come across it.

    I have a similar 3 second rule with food. If I drop food in an unflushed toilet, I'm only allowed chew it for 3 seconds after taking it out, before swallowing it.
     
  15. Matty007

    Matty007 Fapstronaut

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    Just to say something would like to see if this is hocd and anxiety that whenever something gay or like a man is like naked on TV or on anything I see and I get a rush of anxiety and get a tiny bit of movement in my groin while I have this anxiety and then I'll watch or think about the thing again and nothing I think this is hocd and anxiety but fit really annoys me and starts to get my hocd questioning again like oh this is arousal and you like this but I don't I start to even feel sick just I know this is anxiety and try to pass it of as both anxiety and odd but my mind still says oh this is proof that your gay or bi when I'm not I'm neither
     
  16. BoBo129

    BoBo129 Guest

    Yup thats hocd. It will use anything it can against you. Remember what I said to laugh with it. Let the thoughts come and dont fight it. My HOCD is not bothering me as much. It'll be okay. The thoughts will go away if you quit porn.
     
  17. WTF! o_O
     
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  18. BoBo129

    BoBo129 Guest

    That is the most craziest 3 second rule I have ever heard lmfao!
     
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  19. Yeah...having a weird day.
     
  20. Keep taking the tranquilisers man! o_O
     

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