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Porn induced HOCD

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Matty007, May 9, 2017.

  1. I'm pretty sure "remain on your current medication regime" isn't good advice to someone who is eating out of toilets!
     
  2. LMFAO! Yeah, right! :p
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. point taken :) I more meant accidental things- for example a movie with an unexpected love scene, you're sitting on the train you happen to look up and a girl with an incredible ass in yoga pants walks by, that sort of thing...
     
  4. Matty007

    Matty007 Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys just like to update that i think I'm realising I'm staright and not gay but I keep getting huge amounts of anxiety when something sexual involving a man happens even when I was watching this predator documentary this old guy flashed and I got a spike of anxiety started sweating heart beat increased and I felt like a tingly feeling in my groin and I tiny bit of movement this annoyed me alot because I found it disgusting and wanted to throw up over it but then my hocd came back abit and started using this as evidence to not being staright I'm trying my best to pass it off as hocd and anxiety but it's still annoying me I've even watched the video again to check because I have a strong checking obsession with my hocd and when I watched it again I got alot of anxiety but didn't get a movement in my groin how can I stop this anxiety whenever something like this comes on or I see ?
     
  5. diddykong

    diddykong Fapstronaut

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    Stop looking for evidence that you're straight and not gay. Seriously. That is the OCD monster and he has you right where he wants you. The underlying fear in HOCD tends to be not knowing your sexuality. Most HOCD sufferers actually say "I wish I was gay because it would make this so much easier". What I found was the best way to do that is actually to just stop thinking about what you're sexuality is. Society makes this hard because we have to be pigeonholed into gay or straight. You could if fact be anywhereS on a whole spectrum between gay and straight or not even on that spectrum at all. In addition, OCD gives you black and white thinking so you can't entertain any other possibility to gay or straight.

    The best way to overcome this is to accept that you are something, you don't know what exactly that it at present, but you're not going to worry about it. Every OCD thought you get you have to relabel. Trust me, I've been where you are, that monster is ten feet tall and relentless. When you start you have to scream practically every minute at your OCD monster but with time it gets easier and eventually you'll get to a point where you can just shrug off the OCD monster. My monster is still there but he's not ten feet tall at the moment - more like a fluffy kitten. If someone would have told me nine months ago that I'd be in this stage I wouldn't have believed them - I really did feel pretty hopeless with it. Just lay off the porn and keep relabelling and I promise that it'll get easier.
     
  6. LivinginRecovery

    LivinginRecovery Fapstronaut

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    This is sound advice. Since I have been on this journey I realize a little more every day that my need to watch gay P wasn't because I had been warped by too much PMO but because there is actually underlying feeling in that direction. I'm not worrying about it though. I like women too much 'in that way' so I could only ever be bi to be honest but I've let go of how much of me might be gay-oriented within that. I'm actually quite excited by the prospect of finding out more about myself to be honest. The internal revelations are coming thick and fast now and that means recovery is taking place because I have been so numbed up until now. Worrying, guilt and shame bring nothing good to NoFap I have discovered as they just get in the way of progress. Self-awareness is the key.
     
  7. diddykong

    diddykong Fapstronaut

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    One thing you'll realize as well, when the OCD actually quietens down, is how much of this is P induced. For example, a groinal response because you see a man naked could well be your brain anticipating P. Other than in P, most guys never see other men naked.
     
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  8. LivinginRecovery

    LivinginRecovery Fapstronaut

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    That makes sense. A great point.
     
  9. This is really well said.
     
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  10. Matty007

    Matty007 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks some good advice cheers
     
    LivinginRecovery likes this.
  11. BoBo129

    BoBo129 Guest

    @Matty007 if you say you're straight then you're straight. Thats all you need to know. Accept the thoughts and it will go away. I dont believe in the spectrum thing but I respect others opinions. Just be happy and dont let nothing bring you down.
     
    LivinginRecovery likes this.
  12. Matty007

    Matty007 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the advice I dont kind of believe in the spectrum thing aswell but I appreciate over people's views and thanks again how is your hocd getting on are you feeling any changes with the no pmo ?
     
  13. BoBo129

    BoBo129 Guest

    Yup Its going great for me @Matty007. It will go great for you too if you just listen to what we say.
     
  14. Matty007

    Matty007 Fapstronaut

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    Good good and I will
     
  15. Matty007

    Matty007 Fapstronaut

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    Just an update that my no pmo is going very well still get abit of anxiety when I see a man with his top off or something considered homosexual and keep getting tiny groinal movements which are annoying me but everything else is ok and whenever I have a thought of like a sex scene with the same sex I feel like I'm holding back arousal and start to feel blood rush to my groin but I don't like this and it's slowly is this all what porn has done to me because I keep questioning if this is actually me and I've had this all along but I never had this before porn so it can't be and also keep having thoughts that Im bi and started to feel like this weird type of arousel that feels wrong
     
  16. Learn to ignore it. When you get a weird groinal (Or otherwise) sensation, laugh at it, or calmly note it and move on, or any other manner of belittling it. When you constantly monitor yourself, you're going to react to anything. Plus, the groin registers anxiety, so it's more or less a self fulfilling thing. Once you learn to ignore the feelings, they'll begin to dissipate.

    And if you're bi, cool. Imagine only being attracted to 5'3 27 year old women with red hair. Your available pool of potential mates would be tiny. Now imagine that all women and men are potential mates. You've so much more options. And if you are bi, but prefer the idea if living a heterosexual lifestyle, I've got good news: you can! You can learn not to mostly ignore attraction to the same sex, or just have it as a vaguely nice distraction (there isn't a person alive who doesn't notice attractive people outside their relationship).

    Not saying you are bi, of course. How could I know? Just saying that if you got to a place where you wouldn't dislike being bi, then you'll have far less to.be anxious about. If the answer isn't very important to you, it's hard to obsess about the question. This is where I'm trying to get to.
     
  17. Matty007

    Matty007 Fapstronaut

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    Ok thanks for the response I totally understand and I get what your saying about the bi thing but I know I'm not I know jm straight but even if I was I would be ok with it
     
  18. Matty007

    Matty007 Fapstronaut

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    I also relapsed but I'm trying to get better everytime my personal best was 10 days which I just broke trying to get better now
     
  19. Matty007

    Matty007 Fapstronaut

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    I need some help can someone please answer this
    So basically I relapsed yesterday was doing really well the thoughts of being gay and bi were fading and I felt great and I ended up watching some porn cause I thought it wouldnt harm me I ended up masturbating twice to lesbian porn felt good but when I climaxed felt like shit wish I didn't masturbate started to get anxiety that I was going to fall back in the hocd loop and start to find the thoughts arousing again the next day I masturbated again over lesbian porn and I wasn't as annoyed but today now I've not masturbated but before at certain times when I masturbate around 6 and 7 I had a thought of like something gay like gay sex scene and felt like I was getting aroused but it felt wrong is this because I had relapsed and started from day 1 again ? Is this because it was the time my body knew I masturbated so it thought of anything to get me to masturbate ? And after the thought went I had large amounts of anxiety and thought I know I'm straight I can't cope with having these thoughts I hate them I want them to go I was doing so well and now it felt like it was arousing when deep down I didn't like it and I felt sick afterwards
     
  20. Matty007

    Matty007 Fapstronaut

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    And I also have the thought that I can never be staright having these thoughts it'll always dwell on me and that I will never be able to love my gf or girls again coz if this thought and feeling abit aroused I need to quit porn
     

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