Porn is not your problem, your Worldview is your problem

Yes , it has point .

Excessive use of idiot TV box was my biggest mistake. Yes , because of idiot TV box, I started thinking about more girls. It infused wrong imagination. Sorry for wrong English.

 

This is a really great post because you are going straight to the core of the problem - the deep causes of addiction. Do you know John Bradshaw's work? There is a video on YT worth watching entitled "John Bradshaw: Healing The Shame That Binds You"
I recommend it to everyone struggling with any kind of addiction.

 

I like this!

 

Powerful piece. Perfectly said.
The issue is always the mind.

Not what girls at the gym wear.
Not what fellow nofappers write that triggers you
Not what your wife/ kids want.

It’s your mind, your personalized crucible that only you are susceptible to.

 

Yet science has proven that addiction is a genetic thing set in our DNA.

Since it's a disease without cure addiction is being managed rather.

I agree that past experiences and traumas add to this disease but you either are an addict or not.

Just like not everyone gets hooked on drugs the same goes for PMO.

There are many people enjoying pmo once in a while in healthy ways. Sadly if you are on this Web site you are not one of those.

 

Well said.

 

Agree @alexg1709, although I would argue that although M and certainly o can and should be part of healthy relationships, P is never 'healthy'. I'm sure 'occasional' use is much less bad than daily/more often use though (as long as it doesn't escalate...)

 

Same can be said for drugs I guess.

I have been clean for nearly 5 years now and i have witnessed people occasionally use them and not get hooked.

It's not healthy to do it at all but it doesn't ruin their lives like it did for me.

I believe porn is the exactly the same.

And the sooner you treat it as an addiction, well this is in my case at least, the easier it is to manage recovery.

 

I'm so glad to see this thread, I read a number of things that seemed really helpful to me. Of course I thought my problem was pornography, I was watching it for who know how long every day and more importantly creating more of it in my head by sexualizing anything and everything around me since a young age, since before I'd had any experience of porn. It made it difficult, felt inosine, to relate to people or focus on what I wanted to give more attention to like school. I was lost in a fantasy world of lust one way or another for hours each day whether actual porn or just thinking about sex or taking selfish sexual actions that often tried to recreate what I saw or thought about. The selfishness of it gets a lot closer to the heart of the issue. I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it NOW and porn was a tool not the cause. Of course it's interrelated in a cycle, but the cause was not my first time seeing porn, not for me. I was already addicted and that first time felt like "oh this is what I've been looking for.". I think two ideas above that seem contradictory are both true at once: genetics and world view both. I know for some people it is trauma, I also know for me it is not. I had a negative world view without trauma. The good news is I don't have to change my child hood if I become willing to change my mind about it. As was said above my mind is my problem. This is good news for others because my mind cannot possibly be their problem so no one has to wonder "is he saying I should just buy worry about what happened to me?" No, I'm basically taking to myself, not pushing ideas. My practice for my self is to accept then act out of awareness rather than unconsciousness. It makes it sound so simple but there is a lot of practice for me to do every day, luckily the are many great resources like this one, books, groups, professionals, and retreats. It's a privilege to share this journey alongside you all and let's talk further.