Porn just doesn't make sense

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ultrafabber, Dec 22, 2019.

  1. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    I know i am beating a dead horse here since it's not the first time i am discussing this but the more i step away from my former self the more absurd this feels like and the more bewildering this gets.

    How. Does. Porn. Make. Sense. ???? HOW?

    And i am talking about "straight porn" with a man and a woman (or more men and women). I get solo porn (striptease, camgirl) and sort of get lesbian porn but "straight porn". NO. Just no.

    Just... why? How? Why would you want to see a woman you like (as in sexually attracted to) get f-d? Can you even imagine how this would translate to real life? You see a pretty woman down the street or at school or at the work and the one thing you want is to see her get f?

    Ok so let's say this happens. What next? Would you be able to look at her the same after that? Would you feel comfortable her knowing you looked at her getting f? What would she think of you? What would you think of yourself? Could you even make a move on her after that? Would you even want to?

    Masturbating next to a woman you like getting f... Just stop and think about that for a second. How does that make sense?

    This is also an EXTREMELY new behavior. People just didn't use to do that. Yes, it happened but it was extremely, extremely, extremely rare. This is something that men even 30 years ago never experienced even once in their lifetime, yet now a typical male experiences that once a week.

    JUST. WHAT THE F.

    Frankly i feel completely disgusted and feel like throwing up for watching and getting aroused by "straight porn".

    I mean, i get it we're here to fight porn but really, it's not even a fight that should happen cause it doesn't need to. It is just wrong, plain and simple, not something you should opt out of cause you simply chose to.
     
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2019
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  2. geheim

    geheim Fapstronaut

    Our conscience is long gone. The thing with P is that we will not ever be in this real-life situation. So what we do is ignore our conscience and objectify the woman. Every time we do it, we need to suppress the feeling that this is wrong, and we train ourselves to look at her as an object. I bet you there are some people here that are so far gone that they don't even really understand anymore what you are talking about. I agree with your conclusions.

    That's the price you have to pay for P. More or less figuratively speaking, you trade part of your soul for a physical sensation.
     
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2019
  3. Metis07

    Metis07 Fapstronaut

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    That’s how your brain and all dopamine stuff works. You start with some vanilla then you go deeper and deeper. What you wrote is our normal state view on porn, when long term abstinence I feel the same way, p and my previous actions have no sense to me. But one slip and you go back at your old disgusting habit and you don’t care much if it’s normal or not.
     
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  4. Sure, it doesn't make sense. But neither do a lot of things in this world, right? We could make lists of things in which we participate, but if we took a step back and asked why, coming up with a simple and straightforward answer would be difficult. Like, why do people go into debt at Christmas? Why line up at 4 in the morning on black Friday for electro junk we do not need? Ridiculous. I used to be angry about what I had let porn do to me. But I didn't want to keep dwelling on it, otherwise it would start to sound like I was hostile to everything in the world. Better to look for the beauty and wonder in this world and contribute to its joy. Happy Holidays!
     
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  5. geheim

    geheim Fapstronaut

    Exactly, and that's why I don't do any of those kind of things. Not everybody does. That's a possibility too.

    I often get very irritated about the blatant stupidity that surrounds us, so that's another price to pay. It's either deadly frustration, or blindly follow along.
     
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  6. I totally understand. I had no idea how attempting to cut PMO out of my life would bring on so many existential questions. I mean, I've gone over my life in the past year in ways I never had done before. Moments long locked away were brought to the surface - and some of what came out, I have to say, got me really, really, pissed off. Like there are people I feel like I would like to punch if I ever saw them again. Why? They contributed in their small way to my PMO habit. This world is really nuts, but I need to remind myself that getting caught up in the anger is ultimately self-destructive. I read your post with a lot of interest and self-recognition.
     
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  7. Fishn1

    Fishn1 Fapstronaut

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    It doesn't make any sense, but people do it anyway. Myself, I've been hooked on solo women pleasuring themselves and haven't wanted to take it any further than that, even though I did years ago. Either way, it's still the dopamine fix you are after whatever you look at. The nature of the addiction for so many is to get more stimulation from more graphic and kinkier situations. I really haven't really been affected that way, but I understand it because of the urge we get and the habit it creates. To me, it is the taboo nature of seeing things so readily available that should be private but have been commercialized to enslave the watcher to profit the industry. The bottom line is the profit, even if it uses and abuses the people who do it and the people that watch. Like endless analysis in your brain ( which I suffer from sometimes), it really in my opinion does no good to try and figure out why, because people will continue to do it anyway. Better to live without this nasty habit if you can.
     
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  8. Yes. It is a modern form of slavery. And a lucrative one for sure.
     
  9. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    First of all don't care about other things and i don't have the time or the energy to care about them anyway. I care about the trash porn is because it destroyed my life.

    Second of all, most other things that don't make a lot of sense are acknowledged at least as "not making a lot of sense", not praised as normal like porn is. Nobody praises going into debt, nobody jokes about going into debt etc

    And that's the thing i am highlighting here - that porn is completely abnormal and wrong and there are no ifs and buts about it.
     
  10. You are fortunate you didnt escalate to more extreme genres, the industry themselves are constantly bringing out more and more extreme because they said people are growing more and more tolerant , these guys are probably aware by now how porn effects the brain to the degree that people will get less from it and need more to get the same, it obviously has that impact otherwise they wouldn't be making things more and more extreme otherwise they would lose money. Porn and cams to me seems (after the novelty wears off) what it really is , and it doesn't turn me on, when you see cam girls who seem to be on every single day and aren't getting anything from it but some fools money , of course there are hot girls , but that dynamic gets old when the novelty wears off, let's beat off to this girl who is really just working , and is faking everything. Of course you could scroll through those sites for years and see everytype of women and girls and know what you like the most. But people who watch a lot of porn , like everyday or 3-5 times a week. Your going to get bored. And eventually see what really goes on, I've seen girls on cam crying , because of the abuse they take. Most of the time they are being "professional "you could say and most are very good at it, but underneath the majority , after awhile , it's just a job , some you can tell do really enjoy it , and that's way you get into , genuine behaviour . But not much is in the industry it's about money. I think novelty only lasts while the fantasy of something lasts,then the reality of it all gets more and more apparent.
    I know people who can get turned on with there partner unless they watch porn first and people who can only finish by watching porn, then some people who get bored of most porn and develop pied and for them it takes long NoFap or escalation to get the same level of stimulus they used to.
    Porn definitely wreaks havoc overtime , some are definitely much worse off than others . But seeing the reality of the industry and what's going on with perverting tastes and the your brain on porn , NoFap and avoiding a virtual world can only be a good thing to your actual reality . "Pied " if that doesn't say it all
     
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  11. geheim

    geheim Fapstronaut

    Just curious, what kind of things are you referring to here?
     
  12. People who thought it was cool to introduce me to porno mags. To adults - fathers - who kept stashes of them. It was easy for me or their sons to find them and share them. I am sure a lot of fathers who kept their secret stashes of porn inadvertently contributed to their sons' porn addiction. Befriending a certain guy when I was 11 or 12 and entering his home was one of the worst decisions I ever made, but how was I to know that then? If I met him or his father today, seriously, I would have a hard time not punching their lights out. I rarely speak or write that way. I am not a violent person. But that family, that friendship, that home, I can tell you, had a horrible effect on my life.
     

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