Porn makes me straight and that worries me

Over-achieving atheist

Over-achieving atheist

Fapstronaut
That title may seem a bit weird for most. But let me explain. When I was younger I was straight as a. . . something straight. I was still addicted to porn, but it was seemingly 'OK' at the time. I was roughly 14, so it was still a new experience and the downsides hadn't hit me yet.

Fast-forward to late 16 and I realize I am gay, but deny it because of my Christian upbringing (which prior had a huge guilt factor for the porn, too). I forced myself to be straight by talking to girls and fapping more. The cognitive dissonance from this led to a lot of issues.

It worked, but then I discovered I might be an atheist. Suddenly, a thought hit me. "If I am not confined by the sexual practices of Christianity, I can be gay. Right?" That was true, and I am glad I left, but porn has kept me in a very strange state.

I had a hard time trying to unsuppress it. Like, cry after fapping to girls again kind of hard. It took over 3 months to finally be OK with who I was, but there was still an issue. I am not interested in a relationship with a girl nor the act of sex, but for some reason, the body/porn of that gender still attracts a reaction. Sound familiar?

I got the opposite of a straight guy worrying if he is gay, basically, and I couldn't find anything on Google for advice. So that is why I wanted to post this. I hope someone understands this or relates, but if not that is fine. I am a few days in and already it is returning back to the way it should have been. Gay. Not bisexual. Not straight.

P.S. No disrespect to Christians
 
Thanks for the comment. :)

I am fairly certain of myself, and I get what you mean, but I dated multiple girls in my denial stage. None of them were as good as the one guy I was with for a while.
 
Sounds like the opposite of HOCD. I would think it would be a good idea to research HOCD and just swap the genders. It's actually pretty common for people of any orientation to gravitate towards an opposite orientation with satiation. I would check out YBOP's HOCD articles - you may find some insight there.
 
That is what I tried to reference when I said "Sound familiar?" but I forgot the name. I guess I never thought to 'reverse' it, so I might have to check it out. Thanks!
 
I see that you're quite sure that you're gay, but what if, and that's a big 'if', your homosexuality comes from your addiction? It's a common thing here. Don't worry, I'm not negating it, but porn is a really nasty thing that can mess with our sexuality and being so young is still a bit too early to decide for sure (hormones and stuff). Sexuality is something that will define your future life and important choices.

That's why my advice is as follows: get rid of PMO. Then, you'll be 100% sure that you're gay and there will be no issues with that. Also, you'll be much, much happier. You'll start living again, actually.

I also think that you should give another chance to Christianity, or at least the way it sees porn and masturbation. It's sad that you resigned because of being a gay. It must have been hard for you.

Get rid of PMO and good luck.
 
Roader to Freedom said:
I see that you're quite sure that you're gay, but what if, and that's a big 'if', your homosexuality comes from your addiction? It's a common thing here. Don't worry, I'm not negating it, but porn is a really nasty thing that can mess with our sexuality and being so young is still a bit too early to decide for sure (hormones and stuff). Sexuality is something that will define your future life and important choices.

That's why my advice is as follows: get rid of PMO. Then, you'll be 100% sure that you're gay and there will be no issues with that. Also, you'll be much, much happier. You'll start living again, actually.

I also think that you should give another chance to Christianity, or at least the way it sees porn and masturbation. It's sad that you resigned because of being a gay. It must have been hard for you.

Get rid of PMO and good luck.
Click to expand...
No... no... He stated his position clearly in the last three sentences of his post very obviously.
As you would keep your hands out of your pants, keep your religious dogma out of this community.
 
Roader to Freedom said:
I see that you're quite sure that you're gay, but what if, and that's a big 'if', your homosexuality comes from your addiction? It's a common thing here. Don't worry, I'm not negating it, but porn is a really nasty thing that can mess with our sexuality and being so young is still a bit too early to decide for sure (hormones and stuff). Sexuality is something that will define your future life and important choices.

That's why my advice is as follows: get rid of PMO. Then, you'll be 100% sure that you're gay and there will be no issues with that. Also, you'll be much, much happier. You'll start living again, actually.

I also think that you should give another chance to Christianity, or at least the way it sees porn and masturbation. It's sad that you resigned because of being a gay. It must have been hard for you.

Get rid of PMO and good luck.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the advice, will do. From a romantic standpoint, it would be depressing to be with a girl. So if I don't end up liking guys, I will just get some pets to keep my company.

I left Christianity for a LOT of reasons, being gay was just a bonus incentive that led me to accept the evidence against that faith system.
 
Over-achieving atheist said:
I left Christianity for a LOT of reasons, being gay was just a bonus incentive that led me to accept the evidence against that faith system.
Click to expand...

Do you believe being 17 years old is enough to have a final decision on such an important topic in life?
And that there doesn't exist any person in the whole world ( about 7,830,908,623 people ) who might know something that you don't?
Sounds pretty arrogant to me. Did you ever consider pride might be one of the sources of your issues in life?
 
keep your religious dogma out of this community.
Click to expand...

Keep your atheist pretentiousness out of this world.

@OP: whatever orientation you are or aren't, stay away from PMO, like the other folk said. It doesn't have much to do with Christianity. Oversexualisation is rejected by pretty much every religion out there, and not only religion, but also atheist individuals such as myself.

Either way, just chill about your sexuality as such. Think about more important things in life: do you really want to give up having (your genetically own) children in the future? Yes, producing them involves sex, but sex is just the beginning and then there's the whole life ahead of you. Nobody will force you (or even try to excessively convince you) to have children, but just ask yourself if this is something you really are ready to give up on for the sake of your sexual preferences (which, as you can see, are malleable to some extent anyway).
 
Last edited:
seriouslysalty said:
No... no... He stated his position clearly in the last three sentences of his post very obviously.
As you would keep your hands out of your pants, keep your religious dogma out of this community.
Click to expand...
You are a jerk and jerks like YOU don't belong in this community... He didn't judge him for being gay but you did judge him of being religious and judged him for being religious, maybe if you were religious you'd believe in loving one another and treating others with respect, he stated an Idea, a MAYBE statement that could very well be true. What's wrong with anyone (religious/gay/atheist) having an opinion? It's you that is in the wrong trying to silence a group of people.
 
kropo82 said:
Perhaps lighten up on labels and just date people who you feel attracted to, regardless of their gender. (And give up porn, that's not helping you navigate all this.)
Click to expand...

this. Don’t focus on the sex part b/c that’s where this doubt and confusion are coming from. You need to connect with people and let attraction grow naturally. Find someone you have an interest in and start there. The opposite of addiction is connection—beginconnwctung. And come up with a plan to stop fapping and porn.
 
Guys, guys. I don't want this thread to devolve into an argument. I agree with Salty, in a way, but I wouldn't have put it so harshly. I know why I left Christianity. I chose not to explain why out of respect. I am almost entirely sure of my sexuality. After reversing HOCD research I am even more so firmly grounded in my non-hetero desires. My age does not change that. Y'all really think I can't formulate a proper opinion or find what I want? If you got a problem with my atheism (and newly found satanism, as I didn't know what it was until recently), take it up with those I have learned from. Matt Dillahunty, Richard Carrier, Aron Ra, Szandor LaVeyan, and my dogmatic parents (who drove me even further away from my Christian faith). If you have a problem with me being sure of whose pants I want to get in or whose life I want to be a part of, talk to my former dates. On second thought, I won't mention their names. You get the point.

This website is secular, which is why I made this account. To avoid religious discussion.
 
Ekhangel said:
Keep your atheist pretentiousness out of this world.

@OP: whatever orientation you are or aren't, stay away from PMO, like the other folk said. It doesn't have much to do with Christianity. Oversexualisation is rejected by pretty much every religion out there, and not only religion, but also atheist individuals such as myself.

Either way, just chill about your sexuality as such. Think about more important things in life: do you really want to give up having (your genetically own) children in the future? Yes, producing them involves sex, but sex is just the beginning and then there's the whole life ahead of you. Nobody will force you (or even try to excessively convince you) to have children, but just ask yourself if this is something you really are ready to give up on for the sake of your sexual preferences (which, as you can see, are malleable to some extent anyway).
Click to expand...

I do focus on more important things, I want my college to be my priority. I got accepted into MCPHS and they laid out a scholarship for 39k over 3 years for the BSN program. Putting that aside, adoption is all I would need to be happy in the case of having a child. If I do, that is. I couldn't put a girl through anything that isn't 100% of my commitment. It would feel awful and would be guilt-ridden. My sexuality in its current state would not permit any actual act with a female, anyway, so it isn't as malleable as you think. It's just mild OCD and porn.
 
TS_7 said:
Do you believe being 17 years old is enough to have a final decision on such an important topic in life?
And that there doesn't exist any person in the whole world ( about 7,830,908,623 people ) who might know something that you don't?
Sounds pretty arrogant to me. Did you ever consider pride might be one of the sources of your issues in life?
Click to expand...

My friend, stop while you think you're ahead. You won't win the topic of debate to which you want to push on me.
 
Over-achieving atheist said:
Guys, guys. I don't want this thread to devolve into an argument. I agree with Salty, in a way, but I wouldn't have put it so harshly. I know why I left Christianity. I chose not to explain why out of respect. I am almost entirely sure of my sexuality. After reversing HOCD research I am even more so firmly grounded in my non-hetero desires. My age does not change that. Y'all really think I can't formulate a proper opinion or find what I want? If you got a problem with my atheism (and newly found satanism, as I didn't know what it was until recently), take it up with those I have learned from. Matt Dillahunty, Richard Carrier, Aron Ra, Szandor LaVeyan, and my dogmatic parents (who drove me even further away from my Christian faith). If you have a problem with me being sure of whose pants I want to get in or whose life I want to be a part of, talk to my former dates. On second thought, I won't mention their names. You get the point.

This website is secular, which is why I made this account. To avoid religious discussion.
Click to expand...

To each their own, but weren't Anton LeVey's last words, "I wasted my life."?
 
Chris_Cactusblossom said:
To each their own, but weren't Anton LeVey's last words, "I wasted my life."?
Click to expand...

According to what source? If you provided one for me, I wouldn't revaluate much. The teachings line up with me for the most part and assuming you don't JUST know about his deathbed words, you ought to know what the Satanic Bible says. His final words, if they are those, would have nothing to do with wishing he was Christian. Not by a long shot.
 
I don't really want to write too much about the sort of religious discussion here. But as a theologian I see a lot of misunderstandings in regard to the meaning of certain keywords/concepts. + whatever you lable as "christian" is just one of many perspectives out there..

But BTT I'm not sure if "reversing" HOCD refelcts the situation, because HOCD feed from the thrill/anxiety induced by the stimulus, because of being taboo/not aligned with ones own orientation. (Similar mechanism in extreme hardcore pornography, that would be seen as disgusing before/after the addiction. Because porn seems to be expansive in quality and quantity of the stimulus (I might add that quality is not seen as good, but rather strong))
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top