tempted2017
New Fapstronaut
Hi there NoFappers, I'd like to share my story about porn ruining my perfect chance to relax and also porn affecting my mental health. This is my first time posting here so please be easy on me 
also, I'm 18 not 37 as my profile says.
So I've been fapping and watching porn very actively ever since I was 13 or something, so I've seen quite a lot of shit in my time. For a long time I jerked off only to regular porn, then tried to use my imagination and not masturbate to porn but the addiction threw me back. At around 16 I tried NoFap several times but failed (I didn't dare to post anything then), and yet again started watching porn. Last year I had a great vacation at a lakeside cottage as I'm used to (I'm Swedish) but halfway through I started to get plagued by thoughts of watching porn and jerking off. A little prior to that I had decided I wouldn't fap for the whole summer, but that never happened... I gave up and jerked off many times, but everytime regretted it and told myself I'd never do this again. Skip to this summer and this time I was sure I wouldn't watch porn or jerk off at the cottage ever again. Again about halfway through my stay I started feeling super horny and turned to porn, but this time I got up some beastiality porn which nearly made me puke afterwards, lucky for me I didn't cum to it. I had a lot of books with me and some tasks to do to help my grandparent but I skipped all those as I was in a way paralyzed by porn and just looked at it all day and had a jerkoff session in the middle. Now I've had enough with porn.
I also feel really ashamed to ever have watched porn, let alone fapped at our cottage, as it's been a very important place for my family and I kind of feel like I have disturbed a sacred place. This is where porn and mental health come in for me. I have some very weird thoughts which I am really afraid to express if they're deviant in some way. Let me explain. A few years back I fapped to gay porn and decided to quit, but then had to fap to straight porn if I wanted to stop watching porn. I just felt that I wouldn't be gay/bi that way. Ridiculous, I know.
As you can probably figure from my opening, I am desperate to quit porn and don't want it to leave any more permanent scars in me. Now every time I visit here at the cottage thoughts of dogs fucking women rush my mind, it's incredibly disgusting and I wouldn't want that to happen even to my worst enemies...
Please, I need help, any tips on starting out and any comments would be more than appreciated. Even opening up about this whole problem of mine (I haven't told anyone else as in these things I'm rather shy) has lifted a little bit of the dpression that just started to afflict me after I realized once again how repulsive I am to watch such shit.
Thanks NoFappers,
tempted2017
also, I'm 18 not 37 as my profile says.So I've been fapping and watching porn very actively ever since I was 13 or something, so I've seen quite a lot of shit in my time. For a long time I jerked off only to regular porn, then tried to use my imagination and not masturbate to porn but the addiction threw me back. At around 16 I tried NoFap several times but failed (I didn't dare to post anything then), and yet again started watching porn. Last year I had a great vacation at a lakeside cottage as I'm used to (I'm Swedish) but halfway through I started to get plagued by thoughts of watching porn and jerking off. A little prior to that I had decided I wouldn't fap for the whole summer, but that never happened... I gave up and jerked off many times, but everytime regretted it and told myself I'd never do this again. Skip to this summer and this time I was sure I wouldn't watch porn or jerk off at the cottage ever again. Again about halfway through my stay I started feeling super horny and turned to porn, but this time I got up some beastiality porn which nearly made me puke afterwards, lucky for me I didn't cum to it. I had a lot of books with me and some tasks to do to help my grandparent but I skipped all those as I was in a way paralyzed by porn and just looked at it all day and had a jerkoff session in the middle. Now I've had enough with porn.
I also feel really ashamed to ever have watched porn, let alone fapped at our cottage, as it's been a very important place for my family and I kind of feel like I have disturbed a sacred place. This is where porn and mental health come in for me. I have some very weird thoughts which I am really afraid to express if they're deviant in some way. Let me explain. A few years back I fapped to gay porn and decided to quit, but then had to fap to straight porn if I wanted to stop watching porn. I just felt that I wouldn't be gay/bi that way. Ridiculous, I know.
As you can probably figure from my opening, I am desperate to quit porn and don't want it to leave any more permanent scars in me. Now every time I visit here at the cottage thoughts of dogs fucking women rush my mind, it's incredibly disgusting and I wouldn't want that to happen even to my worst enemies...
Please, I need help, any tips on starting out and any comments would be more than appreciated. Even opening up about this whole problem of mine (I haven't told anyone else as in these things I'm rather shy) has lifted a little bit of the dpression that just started to afflict me after I realized once again how repulsive I am to watch such shit.
Thanks NoFappers,
tempted2017
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