Hello everyone, I'm 29 from Canada. PMO has been a huge problem for me for the past 10 years. I never really noticed I had a problem until 3 years ago when I started dating my first gf. I realized I was not able to cum with her. I had a severe case of DE. 1 year later after stopping masturbation for 2 weeks I was finally able to cum with her but only from vaginal intercourse. This was probably the worst thing that could have happened because this convinced me that I was fine. I found myself lyding to her all the time hiding my porn addiction and not admitting I had a problem. She told me she beleived I was addicted but I said I was not. But in reality I am terribly addicted. I was making up stories to explain why she could not sleep at home with me because I needed a good night of rest for important meetings the following meeting when in reality I wanted to watch porn all night long. I was more interested in her then porn. When we were having sex I was basically using her vagina to masturbate to my favorite porn fantasies. I was thinking about porn even when I was having sex with her. I never gave her and orgasm during our 3 year relationship. I simply didnt care. Every time I would go down on her or finger her I would lose my erection. Everytime we tried a position that was focused on her pleasure I would lose my rection withing 2-3 minutes. Finally she dumped me about 4 months ago and was with someone else withing 2 weeks of dumping me and told me how she was with a new guy and how fantastic the sex was with this new person and how this new person was so much more passionate and intimate with her within just a few days and how I had been the problem the whole time and she blamed me for not making her orgasm. At this point I contemplated suicide. It broke my heart but at the same time made me realize Ithis was a serious problem that needed to be dealt with. Porn has ruined my life in so many ways, I was watching maybe 6-7 hours a day everyday. I would PMO once or twice a day edging for 5-6 hours before finally O. Staying up until 5-6 in the morning almost every night. Evertying else then porn was so boring to me, we would never do any special activities with my ex because I always claimed I was too tired or too busy. Porn has taken control over all aspects of my life. I'm so mad at myself for letting this happen to me. I've tried therapy but the therapist is useless and gives me ridiculous advice like : don't watch porn. Yeah thanks for the tip. I have managed to get a few 5 day streaks here and there but I always relapse after that. I always keep a little window open in my mind to go back to porn. I have reduced my viewing a lot, I've went from maybe 40 hours a week to around 10 or 12 but this is still way to much as I still watch it on a daily basis. I feel so empty and numb. Dating has been so weird, I'm not able to get intimate anymore, my confidence in my sexual abilities has been completly shattered. On 2 separate occasions I've brought back home 2 beautiful women that I would normally be sexually attracted to and then we start kissing and I just feel disconnected, empty and wish I was still with my ex. They noticed right away and I told them i was not feeling right and took them back home. I don't know who I am anymore. I have no idea how I can beat this addiction I'm so ashamed of myself. Sorry if this is too long I really needed to vent. Please I need help! An accountability partner would be very helpful I think. Thank you, Bruno.
Hey man, welcome. First off im sorry to hear about your problems, but it can get better. The truth is, whether we think so or not, it all comes back to us and when you see it that way, theres something exhilarating in it. No one is forcing us to watch porn or masturbate, regardless of urges or desires, it all comes down to us deciding to give in. Its a choice. Keep reminding yourself of your reasons for doing it, do whatever you can to stay motivated and above all do not give in to urges no matter how bad you feel. I just recently realized that i kept giving in without a struggle and it made me mad to think that i had been faking at nofap, so now ive finally had enough. Giving it to urges doesnt fix anything, it just resets the healing and prolongs the process. Use this website to help you overcome, it is really great for inspiration and support and ive come across a lot of helpful people. Sorry for saying so much, but i felt it needed to be said. Good luck on your journey im rooting for you. "When life seems like an uphill battle, just think of the view from the top" Oh, by the way, heres a video you should check out. It was given to me by a fellow fapstronaut when i needed help and it inspired me a lot.
Great bro. The image of the video is very funny... because is true. In the left the guy looks like a zombie but in the right he turns into a lion. It shows how powerful NoFap is. Thanks for sharing.
Yo Kovy, Know that you are not alone. I've had a similar journey with porn for the last ten years myself. Hours upon hours upon hours, I couldn't get enough. I just wanted to say, don't be ashamed of yourself. Be proud that you're here. You're fighting. Never in history has such sexual novelty been so readily available to a biological system wired for it. You're a pioneer brother. Peace to you and best of luck on your journey!
Sorry to hear about your troubles. You are definitely not alone! This isn't easy, but you can absolutely do it! Porn is the Devil my friend and NoFap is the equivalent of an Angel on your shoulder...Keep fighting!
