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Porn seems hotter than sex

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Hanumesh Santhanam, Nov 4, 2021.

  1. Hey guys,

    I'm on day 81 of nofap. It has been great so far and I've been dating an amazing girl who knows about my struggles with porn. We've had sex a couple of times and my erections seem better. However since the last few days, I am starting to miss porn. The variety, the dopamine hit, all of them girls!! Earlier loneliness was the trigger but now I'm just horny to see girls getting fucked and slapped again. I know it's horrible but I'm just being honest.

    I've not replapsed or edged and I know that going back there is tantamount to going back into that hellhole of self pity, shame and depression.

    I am not sure why this is happening. Maybe it's the chaser effect. Or maybe sex seems way more work than just rubbing one off.

    I don't know how to deal with this. Please help me out if possible.
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2021
  2. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

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    It may seem counterintuitive, but when you have sex it increases your craving for porn! o_O

    Of course, having sex will release dopamine. But the super stimulus of high speed internet porn will release more. You are still addicted and may remain so for quite some time. Having sex during rebooting slows down the recovery. You can still recover, but it will be slower and you will have to fight these strong urges.
     
  3. E31

    E31 Fapstronaut

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    Just keep on going, you're doing great!
    80 days is not that long in the grand scheme of things and surely your brain still knows its dopamine triggers such as porn and saves them for a long time, but it will get easier and easier to not give in until it is just a faint voice far back in your head, barely audible.
    I stopped smoking Cigarettes Pot and the occasional use of other substances almost a year ago but somedays I still experience cravings for a few minutes.
    I just accept that and remind myself of the price to pay if I were to give in and they fade as quick as they came.
     
  4. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    2 thoughts...

    You may want to consciously change your sexual expectations. You said it yourself "all them girls". I know when I have sex, there won't be a group of girls, or a different girl every 5 minutes lol. You kind of have to let go of the old unrealistic expectations, and focus on the new. Where there's commitment and simplicity, there's often more investment and fulfillment!

    And secondly, have you considered spacing out the sex a bit, while still being intimate with her? I mean if it's once per week, you could try for once every 2 weeks, to build up more tension and give your brain more time to heal between each climax. And you can still be intimate with touching and cuddling to foster the connection and both stay invested.
     
  5. Legacy of Lost Soul

    Legacy of Lost Soul Fapstronaut

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    Sex is less hot than porn. Thats why porn is giving us the heavy hits to the head and sex is more mellow.

    Im P free for almost 5 years.

    But also, sex, kissing, cuddling, hot talking.. it can flood my brain with "feel good" and porn cant do that at all.

    I would NEVER switch back. U just need to learn how to eff your brains off, takes a lot of practice and confidence, and its not done only by fucking.
     
  6. Thanks a lot everyone! I appreciate it!! I'll keep at it!!
     
    Reborn16 and WildEntheology like this.
  7. OttarrTheVendelCrow

    OttarrTheVendelCrow Fapstronaut

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    In some cases, Porn is better than sex. It just is. But it's hard to beat good sex. When I have been dating a hot girl and having good sex I have been less interested in sex. When my relationship was more mediocre and the sex was not good I have been more tempted. Maybe you need to step up your sex life or see a new girlfriend
     
    becomingreat and WildEntheology like this.
  8. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    It will get better over time. You probably watched porn before this thousands of times, you've had sex with her twice. Keep doing it and it will start to feel waaay better. Like waaay better. Pretty much 80% of my orgasms during sex are stronger and take more out of me than ones from porn. The dopamine high from porn is more intense, but the overall feeling and experience of sex is literally feels so much better it's ridiculous. It did take me about 2 months of having sex like twice a week to get there. Just keep having sex and it will keep feeling better.
     
  9. greenishmoon

    greenishmoon Fapstronaut

    It gets better. Keep going bro, don't look back.

    Also sex is connection.
     
  10. Usernameallowed

    Usernameallowed Fapstronaut

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    Porn can seem more stimulating because it's less physical than sex it doesn't take the same amount of energy and it's easier to prolong . Aswell as the fact you have ever taste and kink carered to to the point you didn't know you had one. And it's habitual to go back and watch it
     

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