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mikah · Sep 10, 2020

I had been with this man for 5 years. Since I have known him, he had always been battling with depression. But last year, that's when it got pretty dark. To a point that it also led me into depression as well. We got into a nasty argument and he left the house for a week. Wanting to work things out he came back. After a few weeks, I had that strange feeling something happened during that week he left. I went through the emails, he had been seeing prostitutes and despite all the transactions he keeps denying. And keeps saying that he went to meet the girls, but nothing happens. He said that the same scenario had happened 4 times in the past. I became very insecure and controlling and I have found out that he has always been watching excessive amount of porn. And he had always had the habit of seeking for sexual encounters, when he feels sad, stressed, depress... only a few days ago he sent 700$ to a sex video scammer threatening to send their recorded session to his family and friends if he doesn't pay. Every time we argue, he will keep repeating the same toxic cycle. I can't help but keep on asking myself : is he addicted? Is this sex addiction ? Was I stopping him from living this life of excitement he true wanted?

Exit To Freedom · Sep 10, 2020

Yes, yes and he did it despite you - not much of a life if you ask me. Look at what already has happened, excitement brings no lasting joy when your life is out of control with addiction.

Love2LongBoard · Sep 10, 2020

I am speaking from a general perspective as I know nothing personally about your partner.

He is lying. Men do not go to seek out a sexual experience and chicken out when they are there, generally. They probably don't do it 4 times. It is very unlikely that he is telling the truth.

If he paid a scammer $700, that means he has so much that he needs to hide that he can't remember every encounter.

Check out this article about pornography use and abuse. https://emotionalabuseintervention.com/2020/08/24/is-pornography-use-abuse/

There is some good material out there that can probably help you sort this out. Many men who have partners that use pornography or prostitutes exhibit emotionally abusive behavior such as gas lighting, lying, manipulating, etc.

You are most likely caught in an abusive cycle and you do not realize it yet. I would seek some help to discern what is really going wrong. This could also help: https://www.btr.org/

John_Arthur · Sep 23, 2020

mikah said: ↑

I had been with this man for 5 years. Since I have known him, he had always been battling with depression. But last year, that's when it got pretty dark. To a point that it also led me into depression as well. We got into a nasty argument and he left the house for a week. Wanting to work things out he came back. After a few weeks, I had that strange feeling something happened during that week he left. I went through the emails, he had been seeing prostitutes and despite all the transactions he keeps denying. And keeps saying that he went to meet the girls, but nothing happens. He said that the same scenario had happened 4 times in the past. I became very insecure and controlling and I have found out that he has always been watching excessive amount of porn. And he had always had the habit of seeking for sexual encounters, when he feels sad, stressed, depress... only a few days ago he sent 700$ to a sex video scammer threatening to send their recorded session to his family and friends if he doesn't pay. Every time we argue, he will keep repeating the same toxic cycle. I can't help but keep on asking myself : is he addicted? Is this sex addiction ? Was I stopping him from living this life of excitement he true wanted?
Click to expand...

I am sorry about your experience with your boyfriend. He likely enjoys what he is doing.I am not sure what can be on your mind to cheat with your girlfriend. Probably I will agree with the previous user that he has something to hide if he is willing to pay such payments for non discovering the information. It could be even sexual abuse or even worse. If he enjoys watching cam girls when he has depression I would suggest using trusted websites with the privacy of personal information such as real life cam. Despite everything said I hope everything will go well in your situation. Good luck!

InappropriateUsername · Sep 23, 2020

mikah said: ↑

I had been with this man for 5 years. Since I have known him, he had always been battling with depression. But last year, that's when it got pretty dark. To a point that it also led me into depression as well. We got into a nasty argument and he left the house for a week. Wanting to work things out he came back. After a few weeks, I had that strange feeling something happened during that week he left. I went through the emails, he had been seeing prostitutes and despite all the transactions he keeps denying. And keeps saying that he went to meet the girls, but nothing happens. He said that the same scenario had happened 4 times in the past. I became very insecure and controlling and I have found out that he has always been watching excessive amount of porn. And he had always had the habit of seeking for sexual encounters, when he feels sad, stressed, depress... only a few days ago he sent 700$ to a sex video scammer threatening to send their recorded session to his family and friends if he doesn't pay. Every time we argue, he will keep repeating the same toxic cycle. I can't help but keep on asking myself : is he addicted? Is this sex addiction ? Was I stopping him from living this life of excitement he true wanted?
Click to expand...

Addiction is typically defined as compulsive behavior the addict is unable to stop that creates negative consequences. You partner so far fits that description. It’s hard to tell based on just a little information.

as a recovering sex addict who has done some of these exact behaviors—I would urge him to get help.

Paramount · Sep 27, 2020

Most, if not all, of those sex scammers are fake. They claim to have video evidence of the person masturbating while visiting a porn site, then insinuate they will release the video to the person's contacts, unless they pay them an amount in bitcoin. People who weren't even visiting porn sites at the time, received these types of emails as well, so that proves they're fake. It's just a complete scam, and no-one should pay any money to them.

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