Porn sucks, but I do it anyway.

Hey guys, I've been jerkin it to porn since I was 12 years old. As you can tell by my title, I'm a little sick of it and have been for a while now. I'm in recovery from drinking and have finally strung together a little over 3 months, which is amazing. My life is really moving a good direction, but it feels like the whole thing with porn is similar to when I was trying to get sober.

Whether I binge or just have a small session I always feel like crap afterwards. I feel drained, I feel weak, I feel down and unmotivated, and this is a feeling I am very familiar with being a recovering alchy. The feeling reminds me of waking up hungover, swearing off alcohol and ending up in a bar later that night. I always swear off porn and always find myself back on it a few days later, sometimes less. I don't know what I'm supposed to do to avoid that moment where I'm right back in front of my computer screen.

It doesn't feel like I watch porn to "medicate" or feel better over a bad situation.. I'm sure I have at times, but overall it just feels like I watch it for the pleasure of watching it, of getting off.. then I feel shitty. It's really a drag. I've gone and gotten some really good help with my drinking problem and although this is a much smaller matter I'm here do to the same.. I need help and support my fellows!! Thanks for reading.

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