Porn urge, or just horny?

so your priority is to fix your delayed ejaculation, right? going for a reboot will be a good idea in this case, as you have probably gripped way too tight during your sessions resulting in a loss of sensation in your dick paired with visual overstimulation. by not touching it for a while your system should adjust, but this could take 90 maybe even 200 days.

when it comes to get an O, there are different ways you could do it. going hardmode means really not touching yourself for fun, zero. but I have read other stories going softmode where you either have sex with your wife (not an option for you) or going to masturbate once in a while. I don't think you will ruin your progress, just delay it. in case you want to masturbate, do not think of porn but either real life experiences or focus on the sensation only. also do not use your hand but instead you could use just two or three tips of your fingers.

you aren't doing this to get a quick fix, so there is no pressure involved. you could give yourself a release every 30 days and see how you feel afterwards.

regarding your libido, ask yourself if this is coming from your head or from your body? I am experiencing heavy urges as well (day 102 no PM, day 15 no 0), but it appears driven by my head = addicitive pathways. once your body is in sync again and your libido is coming from your balls and dick, then I would consider this a good sign in a natural rhythm.

all the best to you.

 

I am dealing with the same thing. I am just getting super horny but not as much missing the porn. I am trying to find something else to do besides masturbate. Any ideas I could do instead with my mind? Before I started masturbating daily it was so powerful I almost couldn't do it because it was so strong after doing everyday for over 125 days it's not strong at all so now is the time for me to quit I am just trying to figure out what to do instead that doesn't involve and sexual stimulation. I will any advice you have,

 

I know what will follow will not answer your question, but it may help you...

Does an answer matter? If it's your porn addiction that's driving your libido, that means that you need to make more progress. So you should keep going. If it's just because of the lack of release, watching porn would be the stupidest thing to do and you'd have no excuse. Which means that you should keep going.

In other words, whatever the answer to your question is, it shouldn't impact what you're supposed to do anyway. I think you should relax and keep on going.

I guess you should do whatever you think is best for you after 3 months. Even if it's the wrong thing to do, you will learn a lesson. So, just be patient and let experience answer that for you.

Personally, I think that masturbation even when isolated from porn can lead you straight back to porn. I don't say it's impossible to masturbate without porn; just that you make it easier to go and watch porn again.

It depends on how "clean" you have been. If you didn't even allow thoughts to enter your mind about either porn or having sex with a woman, I don't think you will want to do it anymore. That is also why it becomes easier as well. Others don't want to go the easy route and will persist in allowing all sorts of sexual thought invade their minds. Worse, most will think that scrolling through Instagram models' pictures is innocent and not at all detrimental to their progress.

That seems to be a prevalent idea in the nofap culture, but not every man who does nofap would agree with this. Like you said, it's not an option for you. And there are plenty of men who don't choose that as way to "release" anyway. Why wouldn't it be your case too?

Oh, yes. You're going to need something, that I guarantee you. Or you are going to lose your mind.

This is an unpopular opinion, but sexual activities are not the ONLY way to release sexual energy. It may seem weird because even I call it "sexual" energy, but I personally believe that transmutation does the trick.

Simply put, if you don't want to masturbate and can't/don't want to have sex, you are not doomed. You can learn to keep your mind clean of any sexual stimuli and be a very active person. Yes, you will at first feel your balls tingling from time to time because of the pressure, but you will get used to it and won't even notice it after a while.

This is an option that very few of us go with, however, so you should try it yourself and see what happens. You will find plenty of nofappers who will urge you to not do it because they can't, but the alternative options are so much worse. Unless, of course, you're in a marriage or a committed relationship that it's about to get very sexually active once you drop your addiction. Not your case it seems.

So, in my opinion, the only healthy alternative you have is monk mode. If you approach it right, you won't lose your mind because you will not suffer at all.

At your age, it will be even easier to achieve this even if you think you have a higher libido than the average male.

 

Exercise, reading self-help books or religious texts, socializing, charity work, learnings new skills, and improving your profession are all great ways to channel that energy that often becomes overwhelming.

But you should always accompany such activities with a general caution against sexual stimuli throughout the day. Save that for your wife or the woman you're actually interested in for a long-term relationship.

 

Not that it matters, but there you have it. Porn flashbacks can occur because of horniness. It may not be useful to know that right now, but it sure is very good news!

 

Like the other guy said, I believe sexual energy is healthy and doesn't need to be used to ejaculate. Also, there is no bad or good regarding abstinence, for some it's a health issue, as it is for me, but not a moral issue at all. I also belive that men can lead very satisfying lives without ever ejaculating, but so many of us suffer from conditioned thinking patterns, compulsively engaged in sexual fantasy; also over time our physical bodies become "addicted" to ejaculation, so it then becomes a matter of dealing with withdrawal symptoms. Peace

 

Given the fact that it was just me in this thread with the unorthodox opinions, I feel like I need to clear up something as I may not have been properly understood (can't talk for other people's messages in other threads and forums, though). The last thing I intended was to confuse you, my friend.

First of all, I need to make a clear distinction between sexual thoughts and activities. I do not believe that all sexual activities are bad at all. But sexual thoughts and more specifically fantasizing are not good for anyone in my opinion. You live in your head when you do this. It's way better to just be aroused by the way a woman looks at you or touches you. Live in the moment, not in your head.

Second, indeed, the primary goal is to beat porn addiction. But the reasons we have for doing this vary. You think that it's about better enjoying sex with a partner. This reason is a very famous one in the nofap culture, but not espoused by many. So, yes, the goal is to get past the dependency. Why you would have this goal is entirely subjective, though.

As for masturbation, you will notice I advised you to be patient for three months and see what works for you. The danger of getting hooked to porn again may not apply to you for some reason. You will have to see.

However, from a business owner to another one, I feel like I should tell you that there is so much potential energy we can use for the benefit of our business that we leave on the table when we masturbate and ejaculate for just pleasure. Many of us feel very tired after ejaculation, both after it occurs and days after if we actually do it rarely and can notice the subtle difference. That should give us a clue. I would say all of us, but some stubbornly would claim that they get no tired at all (yes, if you do it every week or something, you won't even notice the difference because you haven't even given yourself the chance to see how it is going for months without masturbating).

But again, if you feel like masturbation helps you to NOT use porn, more power to you. It may be a "lesser of two evils" situation for you. But I sincerely doubt this can work out well for ex porn addicts (just my opinion).

And if it doesn't work, it's not the end of the world. You get used to the energy after a while and won't care about a release from down there.

Speaking of sexual energy, in no way do I believe it's bad. It's a great gift actually. The way we use it can be bad though and it often is. Watching porn, fantasizing, having casual sex, and masturbating are good examples of bad uses of this gift.

 

That comment about conditioned thinking patterns nails it, my friend.

When I started nofap 4 years ago, I suffered a lot because I did not approach abstinence with the right mindset. It's so much easier when you shake some of your false thinking patterns regarding sex, and there is no suffering afterwards. Only a peaceful kind of abstinence with no drama at all.

Also, I know what you mean that it's a health issue for some (this is the case for me as well), so don't take my next comment any other way than just a philosophical input about it.

It seems to me that genuine morality and not virtue signalling is derived from an acknowledgement of what is healthful and what is harmful. Like, we often label something harmful as wrong and something healthy as right. The connection between these two things (understanding what is healthy/harmful and what is right/wrong) makes them one and the same. I don't know if that makes sense.

 

I'm pretty much in the exact same situation as @Strugglestreet (except I don't have a wife or GF). My PMO experience was not disruptive to the rest of my life, but it gave me PIED.

A few thoughts:

1) I do not know if I am addicted to PMO, but I am certainly habituated to it.

2) Like Strugglestreet, I definitely have the horniness. Call me Mr Blue Balls.

3) I have a strong desire to enter the imaginative world that PMO gave me. It was like a release from the stress of my reality (a pretty normal reality, by the way, nothing too out of the ordinary). Fapstronauts don't talk about that part of the experience — the going-to-another-place for a while.

I'll be following this thread.

 

Yes, it does. I suppose we should agree on a definition of "morality". At the same time what is a "good" solution for one may not necessarily be for another. What I have observed on the forums are lots of well intended bits of advice, which is nice and an essential part of brothers helping each other; at the same time each situation is unique. Abstinence is not the solution for everyone, but in my case it is the only way ahead. Peace be to all. And thank you