The things I’ve seen and spanked it to are finally catching up with me. I just can’t take the guilt and disgust of looking at these images and I know it needs to stop. I’m deleting all the porn off my phone, and abstaining until I cleanse myself of the guilt and filth I’ve acquired over the years before it leads to something worse. Any tips?
Delete everything from your phone, computer, etc. Then stay away from your phone and computer for as long as it takes. Trust me, the flashbacks slowly go away the longer you reboot. Soon, faces will be forgotten, scenes will be blurred from your image, and nothing will be left but that memory that you wasted during your youth.
Do I have to stay away from my computer and phone? I do stuff on both that isn’t porn, I’m a pc gamer and I use my phone for school stuff too. And I don’t aim to completely abstain from porn, just enough so that it isn’t a compulsion
Stay away from them as much as you can. And please don't simply sit idle because that will trigger you.
In my opinion? The internet and abstaining from porn is similar to a heroin addict having a shitload of heroin in the next room. All he has to do is just walk in and bam, he's banging heroin again. You can get on the internet. You can get on your phone, but goddamn will the temptation get to you. Just be extremely careful.
I think you should completely abstain from porn. Then again, I am biased because it ruined my life. Also I only use a public library computer and have my phone run on safe mode (only call and text). I've cut out video games along with everything else and it has helped me immensely. I don't know if you are in college or not, but video games is a habit that is eventually phased out as academics becomes more and more hectic. You will become more productive in the life the less you become attached to dopamine fixes. Take an introspective step back and really try to look at how you spend time on your computer? Do you spend every minute in front of a screen relating to school work, or do you browse randomly from time to time, click on random Youtube videos, look up random pictures, or carelessly scroll through social media. This is probably the only website that I use that doesn't serve any academic purpose whatsoever, but is merely a place where I can post my journal and occasionally look at new threads created by members. I'm not saying you should follow what I say or put what I believe into practice; but I feel many people around me can "trim fat" from their lives (literally and metaphorically) as this society needs constant distraction. It is amazing what can be accomplished and how little you need to live in such a world.
I choose not to remember. Just a lot of anger and hollowness. There were times where I was in a fetal position on the floor with my ego telling me how hopeless I am in fighting such a thing. I'll be honest with you, it isn't easy. You're going against a primal urge.
Ah. Just so you know gaming is my thing, I actually plan to go to college for game development and design. But besides that do you think changing my lifestyle and getting more hobbies will help?
Ah, I was unaware of your future profession. My mistake to assume that gaming is a "knack hobbie" of yours. I replaced my PMO addiction with exercise (cross country) and playing guitar. I would run long distances (upwards of 7 miles a day) to achieve the runner's high and play guitar before I go to bed. Both of these provided a modest amount of dopamine for me to keep myself from hitting absolute low. Over time I managed to get more and more pleasure from these activities. My best advice is to find an activity that results in a natural high afterwards. It will take a bit of searching unfortunately, I was a pretty active kid throughout my life so exercise was naturally easy for me to get into.
You should do 'hardmode' No Porn, No Masturbation, No Orgasm, for at least 90 days. If you're looking at porn, even occasionally, you're just wasting your time here. Might as well just fap every day... Good luck to you!
Is it just a sign of the extreme of my addiction, or are Asian women naturally more sensual than average?
