I just wanted to share a positive report and some of the things that has been working well. I'm on a hard mode streak which is something I have not done since 2 yrs ago. I find that doing no PMO and going completely celibate are much different. In this approach, I avoid all sexual thoughts completely and I am not entertaining any sexual ideas, and as a result, there is a new old-familiar feeling present. This feeling is something hard to describe. It's like a feeling of inner power. Like a silent power. It comes out in social interactions. It draws the attention of people - but the little needy me that used to want to pursue every person is not there as much. I have a new theory. What we essentially are is joy itself. When we stop exploiting and filtering our lasting joy through our sexual senses (and other senses) we start to experience the RAW joy from within which is an ongoing experience. This joy is present even through hardship. Meaning even if let's say we have to get up early and go to work and we really don't like to - there is a sense of sacredness and joy with me. I should also mention I am now living like a monk. Meditating many hours per day and eating mostly vegan and only 2 meals. I can sense my energy is raising, there is a new level of acceptance of the hardships in my life and with the acceptance, there is a sense of joy for no reason. Many things I want are not in place yet but there is a new sense of all-is-well present. What has been super helpful t me 1. Vegetarian diet - 2 meals 2. Meditation 3 times per day (morning, afternoon, evening) 3. 15 min yoga every morning + hitting the weights/cardio 4-5x daily 4. Waking up early 5. Accountability group with @artifact and the reset of the crew in the AP forum 6. coming to this forum and answering questions 7. reading the book on brahmacharya 8. Avoiding all movies and entertainment 9. Limiting facebook to bare minimum only to visit comments on my posts (rather than visiting the time line) 10. Living close to family PS. I still have many unpleasant emotions - some days depressed, some days lonely, some days hopeless, some days happy, some days excited. The difference is I am able to accept the depressed emotions for what it is and I am not getting depressed about being depressed. and I'm still able to continue with my daily disciplines regardless of the emotions most of the time so far.