Possible to go back to vanilla?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Papipaul, Jun 25, 2020.

  1. Papipaul

    Papipaul Fapstronaut

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    So I've slowly over the years became indoctrinated into bdsm, humiliation and tug jobs. To the point oral or full sex really does nothing for me. Which becomes a huge issue with gfs. I mean the first few fumbles with them I get turned on, probably as their new. But then the sex becomes a chore no matter how attractive they might be, I struggle to stay hard with standard sex but just about manage it by thinking of other things. This has led to anxiety issues during sex and poor performance and me ending relationships through embarrassment. My 2 to 3 wanks a day certainly don't help with my issues desiring my lady friends. So my question is to the success stories. Have you been able to normalize your sexual preferences? I long for the day I could get massively excited just groping some beasts let alone the prospect of full sex.
     
  2. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Just stay away from porn and masturbation for long time,few months and i m sure you will have great sex(vanilla).All those fetishes will fade away how times go.
     
  3. The brain is a flexible muscle that you can rewire. Listen to @Kligor! You will gain great benefits from PM abstinence.
     
  4. Papipaul

    Papipaul Fapstronaut

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    Thanks guys.
     
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  5. Washwaverr

    Washwaverr Fapstronaut

    And even if it doesn't fully recover to vanilla you can find a freak to beat up eachother lul.

    Jokes aside, if it's not TOO extreme you'll be able to find someone to do it with. (even if its too extreme but that would be some serious degradation from both of you)

    EDIT: Generally I think it is cool to mix it up from time to time. Just dont go full degradation mode you could get perma damaged
     
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  6. DrabToLight

    DrabToLight Fapstronaut

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    Hey @Papipaul ,

    My experience is that I needed to stay away from porn. All porn. Porn is a lie. Think about what you see in the real world. How many people look like what you see in porn? None. Porn is a lie.

    I did a hard reboot and now sex with my g/f is great. Please read my journal.

    -D2L

    .
     
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  7. Papipaul

    Papipaul Fapstronaut

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  8. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

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    You can absolutely go back to vanilla in my opinion . I'm 14 months without watching porn. And less than 15 masterbation sessions in that time period with no fantasy or images involved . After a whole year I've decided to cautiously reintroduce masterbation . But with rules and guidelines I just follow. I've never "just" masterbated. But it feels new, and exciting. So it's possible , but you just need to be very cautious.
     
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  9. Vanilla porn was a good gateway for me I recommend Playboy. Just simply beautiful nude photos. Use that first if it's too hard to go cold turkey.
     
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  10. Papipaul

    Papipaul Fapstronaut

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    It hasn't really been too tricky a few days in tbh. Hopefully a good sign. I'm encouraged by the suggestions I can reformat my mind to more vanilla and standard sex. I think cold Turkey for months is achievable and then reintroduce some vanilla stimulus. Thats the plan..
     
  11. 72jbjekapm

    72jbjekapm Fapstronaut

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    I know where your coming from, I don't want to have a vanilla sex life, I want feel comfortable with my wife to get crazy. She is ok with a vanilla sex life, does not like receiving oral, which drives me nuts, says it hurts, never been with woman who did not enjoy oral. She love giving it, but not receiving. I want to be pegged and we enjoyed that together, but I still don't feel 100% okay with it becauseof the ik factor. I also would be into bondage, but shes not cool with that, so I get where your coming from. I'm almost 60 days without pm and it is getting harder because our sex is not as frequent and not as exciting as I'd like it. I definitely feel the benefits of no one, but miss the pm with myself, which seems really pathetic of me.
     
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  12. 72jbjekapm

    72jbjekapm Fapstronaut

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    So are you still on track, I know I've been struggling, on day 67 and I miss the pm, because the sex with wife is too vanilla for me, it is better than before but....
     
  13. Just saw this and for me it worked pushed my self for quite some time to only watch vanilla and nothing else to the point I had enough and stopped fully. I can understand your frustration about going down on her and she does not enjoy it, but take a step back and get an understanding what she enjoys. Your wife is not P I think you known this in the meantime being on this forum. They would never create a movie massaging feed or neck or head. If you care for her then find out what she likes and may have nothing to do with your dick or tongue.
     
  14. Prince6543

    Prince6543 Fapstronaut

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    I'm working on it. Haven't seen much improvement though even after 50 days NoFap
     
  15. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    Yes it is possible.
    After / during a reboot you will start enoying the simple things in life.
    I remember last year (after starting nofap) a woman started touching my shoulders and arms and it felt amazing and heavenly.
    The brain is always changing.
    In your case it will take a while to reverse the damage but it is possible.
    Be patient and persistent , and i promise you will get there.
     
  16. Prince6543

    Prince6543 Fapstronaut

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    How can you say that it's damaged?
     
  17. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    Based on your description it is.
    But if you want to look at it from a different angle, it is just an experience.
    You don't need to change if you are satisfied with your experience.
     
  18. Prince6543

    Prince6543 Fapstronaut

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    I do want to change my sexual preference from foot fetish to vanilla. But I don't know if it is ok to say that my brain is damaged
     
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  19. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    I was responding to the original post not yours mate. Apologies
     

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