Post acute withdrawal and my symptoms. Can you relate?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by DarkSektur, Mar 30, 2018.

  1. ArduousPath

    ArduousPath Fapstronaut

    That's a very interesting intake on the meditation part. When I started nofap 2 years ago I didn't feel much of the PAWS that's now floating dizziness, head pressure and tingling. At most I felt a bit tired and anxied for a week and was good to go after that. But it all changed about a year ago. I also started meditating around that time, but I've never meditated for more than an hour. I usually meditate for 20-30 mins. I wonder if it could've played a part in it. I've already been kindling for years now with PIED being a problem for at least a decade so it could've been just a coindicence on the meditation part and my body just being so jaded that it finally hit a wall with PMO. I was actually wondering years before when it all would end as I was really fed up of the whole PMO lifestyle a long time ago. I guess it's the same with drug and alcohol addicts, once they hit a complete wall then they have to stop the toxic lifestyle for the rest of their lives or else they risk dying.

    As for the TV stuff, I feel the same. For some reason I feel really ill when it comes to watching YouTube, especially pointless stuff. I can't stand modern TV shows with fast moving scenes, especially those with flashing transition screens. The same goes for fast paced video games. This is rough as I used play video games all the time for hours on end without feeling any kind of motion sickness. This all can be just a mixture of mindlessly surfing the web, playing video games and PMO'ing for over two decades and the body finally being so fed up with it that it literally can't take it anymore, be it in any digital form.
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  2. I remember that during my first reboot of around 150 days, I felt totally healed. In fact, I felt amazing. The world had more color, average girls looked amazing, tons of motivation, slept like a baby. During this reboot I took massive amounts of caffeine, drank alcohol, took phenibut and baclofen (which increase dopamine in the striatum), ate junk food now and then, did mindless internet browsing, took THC and nicotine now and then, played tons of games and binge watched netflix series. Yet I was totally healed. So these dopamine increasing activities did not affect my recovery. All I had to do was stay away from PMO. Just don't take very strong dopaminergic stimulants or opioids because they will certainly mess up the reboot and downregulate D2 receptors.

    (This is just my experience)
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2019
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  3. Don Quixote

    Don Quixote Fapstronaut

    Yeah, who knows? I can't be certain, but i find it fascinating that you, too, coincidentally (or perhaps not so coincidentally) were meditating at that time of shift. Those who praise its benefits remind me of guys like Sigmund Freud praising the mental benefits of cocaine back in the 1920s (not saying they're the same), but simply that we know about as much about what meditation does to your brain as they knew cocaine did back then. Yeah, there's tons of "benefits" but the brain is so complex, we just don't know what the price is. There's always a price: losing your sense of self, derealization, deconstructing higher cortical executive functions, nihilistic contentment, detachment, neutralization of your personality, turning into an amorphous sensuous amoeba, deconstruction of psychic obligation towards fulfilling moral duties, apathy towards suffering, ambivalence towards concepts of right and wrong? These are all things people have reported from meditation, and these are all things I've personally experienced. Makes you wonder what the fuck is going on psycho-spiritually to produce results like that.

    We simply don't have in depth psychological/biological knowledge about the meaning of meditation, and we don't know what PMO does; scientists are just beginning to confirm the intsy wintsy basics while the rest of us who suffer resort to just inferring qualities out of the effects that we experience and endure. That's why there is such a variability in peoples perception about PMO, addiction, meditation, and PAWS. The short term rebooters always say, "porn isn't that bad. If it takes more than 90 days to heal, it's something else." But, honestly, I'd be that naive, too, if it only took me a month out of my life to feel super healthy and back on track, but us long term rebooters look at things from our vantage point and go, "This stuff is satanic poison. Abandon hope all ye who enter!" and, "On what slender threads do life and fortune hang?"

    People ALWAYS make self-referential judgements, and extrapolate them to umbrella all mankind under their idiosyncratically designed categories. Oy vey! Its gotta be an evolutionary structuring of our categorization. Makes more evolutionary sense to make universal pronouncements about one's situation from one's rationalization of their own personal experience. Basically, "if it produces my desired effects, it's true in whatever way I conceptualize it" (never-minding any corroboration with another's experience or the larger empirical reality as a whole) That's my estimation of human rationality/cognition.

    To sum up, I'm anti-meditation from my self-referential judgements about my experience, and because of that, I'm skeptical as hell about counter perspectives. I make no claim to universal knowledge. That's my personalized bias. It's out of a sense of self-protection that I hold this position and caution others as well. I care less to be believed than to be right, in that if I'm wrong, my life will be less good than it could be.
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2019
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  4. Hisself

    Hisself Fapstronaut

    I’m having suicidal thoughts and am in desperate need of advice, for the first time in my life I opened up about my mental health struggles, I did not talk about porn though. I haven’t watched porn in 14 months and just 2 weeks ago started getting morning wood and had my first 2 successful sexual encounters with a partner in my life. I then was contacted by an ex and we were planning to meet up but I got anxious and scrolled the Facebook of a girl I knew and saw some arousing images. I exed out right away but paws symptoms came back for the first time in 10 months, for the past week my insomnia has returned and so has pied I am having unusual urination symptoms and have had panic attacks. At this point I can’t feel my dick and am wondering if it will be another 10 months before I feel good again or can get erections. Please help please
  5. Younameit

    Younameit Fapstronaut

    this time it will probably last less
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