Powerful Social Anxiety

[primo19]

Hello.
I'm on streak since 1st January. Because of compulsive masturbation and porn using I've become ani-social, insecure and depressed guy. I finally pull myself out to get that shit out of my life. I survived first major flatline, now I'm feeling better, but the problem is, I think that I have some big social anxiety issue that is somewhat undependet from PMO. I mean even after nearly two months, I'm still feeling really uncomfortable in public, I feel judged, I feel embarassed and shy. I don't know if that's because of trying to pretend normal, wearing a mask or something, but I also feel really exhausted when I coming back home after day in school. I think I'm also in some kind of derealization state. I mean, I get back from school, go to bed, trying to relax a little and after a couple of hours I think - "shit, that all school day feels like a dream or something, it couldn't be in the same day". Maybe that's because I rarely going out from house...
Day after day I cannot get over that stupid feeling. I have thoughts that it's all pointless. "You feel exactly like a 60 days ago, when you bust a nut and get nice orgasm, that's not worth it..."
I don't know if that will change to be honest. I'm really struggling now, I get eye contact invite to approach from girl of my dreams, but I'm not enough confident to come to her and talk, I'm shying away, try to hide... Maybe my brain is much more messed up, maybe I wil live in that state for the rest of my life. I try to fight this, I really try...
Do you have any advice how to get back to normal?

 

[AtomicTango]

These feelings may not be caused by PMO but they are 100% amplified by them. Excessive PMO over many years can cause all the problems you described and cause you to enter a state where you are like a zombie, detached from your own body and mind, and after a while it starts to feel normal. It took me having streaks where I went upwards of 100+ days before I started to feel like I was truly recovering, and to be honest I need even more time than that (I mean look at my counter, I'm not cured by any means). I would also recommend seeing if there is any underlying medical condition you are not aware of, I only suggest this because in my case I used to get horrible chronic fatigue all the time among other symptoms, and after much messing around it turned out I was type 1 diabetic. Now I'm treating myself for it I feel a lot better but I had absolutely no idea I had it, and while there is a very very small chance there is something medically wrong that cant be beaten by beating PMO addiction, its still worth considering and knowing for sure.