Powerless over lust

swissarmyknight

swissarmyknight

Fapstronaut
I'm new to the site and am extremely anxious about the experience. But here goes...

I have been viewing pornography since age 11, on and off as my access has been restricted throughout the years. I was doing fairly well from 19 to 21 but started relapsing a few times a week. After getting myself together I met a girl and we were married pretty quickly. But after marriage I started to slip into old habits and started viewing P again with the occasional MO as well. My wife knew I had a problem before and I disclosed each relapse of MO to her.

Now I'm 24 and having one the most difficult times I can recall having. The shame is unbearable, especially since now there is something so huge at stake: my marriage.

I'm 2 week free of MO but have viewed P on my work computer earlier today (we don't have an IT department to track me down so I'm the only one to hold myself accountable).

Words of advice and encouragement are appreciated.
 
swissarmyknight said:
I'm new to the site and am extremely anxious about the experience. But here goes...

I have been viewing pornography since age 11, on and off as my access has been restricted throughout the years. I was doing fairly well from 19 to 21 but started relapsing a few times a week. After getting myself together I met a girl and we were married pretty quickly. But after marriage I started to slip into old habits and started viewing P again with the occasional MO as well. My wife knew I had a problem before and I disclosed each relapse of MO to her.

Now I'm 24 and having one the most difficult times I can recall having. The shame is unbearable, especially since now there is something so huge at stake: my marriage.

I'm 2 week free of MO but have viewed P on my work computer earlier today (we don't have an IT department to track me down so I'm the only one to hold myself accountable).

Words of advice and encouragement are appreciated.
Click to expand...

Welcome to NoFap @swissarmyknight

It is a big step if you can understand what is triggering your urges, because this will allow you to be awake and kill those urges as soon as they appear.

I recommend you to create your own "Emergency Toolbox" with readings that can be handy to read when you start feeling urges to screw up.
I can share this post with you with my own Emergency Toolbox, it helped me a lot during the first few months, i had them in my cell and read them every time I started falling down:

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...y-first-320-days-of-reboot.62938/#post-473978

I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too:

http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318
You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post:
http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2

I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction.
To get more focus and feel happier with life I recommend you to start doing meditation.. I have been using an App called Headspace for the last two months which is great if you have never meditated before. The first 10 sessions are free if you want to give a try. I used to feel a bit depressed or feeling without energy to start new projects in my life, and meditation has helped me a lot with this.

Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take new e-course that Mark Queppet launched in his new website, called: " REFORGED MAN: Quit porn and Master Yourself-Be a Man you Admire", it is the updated version of the e-course he used to have in NoFap Academy. It is not cheap ($200) but it is totally worth it because he gives great toold to fight PMO.You can find it here:
https://courses.universalman.com/courses/reforged-man
You can also join his website called Patreon, where he posts great stuff for free every week, and also you can join the pay area to be part of his weekly video calls where you can chat with them in real life, get coaching and listen to other guys's stories and problems too. You can find it here:
https://www.patreon.com/home

I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction.
Let's keep on fighting

Fercho
PS: I was a PMO addict for 40 years, 26 of them i was already married. i understand your shame, i still feel the same. Do not lose your marriage and your life. Act now!
 
Powerless over lust, I'm amazed by that statement. Not bc of you personally but I've heard this shit from 12 step BS'ers over and over. Sexual desire is a biological fact, and people who try to suppress it are generally worse of than if they just admitted it as such.

Not to say that sexual desire doesn't need to be controlled, if nothing else within the confines of the law. But even if you take a religious perspective, Pride would always take precedence over lust as a human failure.

Sexual addiction is basically bullshit. The only ones who really believe in it are homosexuals, sex offenders, and their sympathizers.
 
TheGambler said:
Powerless over lust, I'm amazed by that statement. Not bc of you personally but I've heard this shit from 12 step BS'ers over and over. Sexual desire is a biological fact, and people who try to suppress it are generally worse of than if they just admitted it as such.

Not to say that sexual desire doesn't need to be controlled, if nothing else within the confines of the law. But even if you take a religious perspective, Pride would always take precedence over lust as a human failure.

Sexual addiction is basically bullshit. The only ones who really believe in it are homosexuals, sex offenders, and their sympathizers.
Click to expand...

While I disagree with your statement on sex addiction being bullshit, I like what you said about sexual desire being a biological factor. When I accept that it's not "a sin" to be attracted to a beautiful woman, then there's nothing to be ashamed of until I use it to "get off", or just obsess with fantasy.

I supposed "powerless" is not my favorite way explaining it because it tends to imply that we can't overcome it, which is obviously not true. In my case, i say powerless because at my current state I am unable to NOT look at P via my own strength. It's the reason I joined the site, to have conversations like this to learn how it is for other people and use tools that they find success with so I can get the point where I don't "need" to look at P every time the opportunity arises.

Thanks for the reply man.
 
I don't think you have that big problem there. People on this forum overexaggerate the struggle of leaving a bad habit as if they were suicidal, deppresive, etc, and part of them are just dudes on drama.


You can apply a lot of techniques to avoid it, but there is no need to focus on pornography like if it was a battle of life or death. You just need to apply, thinking by yourself, or given here, all the weapons available to erradicaye pornography, because it is a posion that has been massified in the two last siecles.


-Delete all archives
-Delete all acounts that could lead you to that pornography (i.e. Instagram, like I did 2 days ago)

I dont know there is a plentu of things you can do. It's a better lifestyle what you are trying to reach. But there is no need to exaggerate it. People in this forum tend to think on a pink elephant, being dramatic on not trying to think in a elephant. I don't know if I am explaining myself.
 
What I am trying to tell you is: do whatever you consider, but do not get obssesed with the problem. Just focus on other things meanwhile you overcome the bad habit. That's my advice. I've noticed that the drama in this forum is overwheilming.
 
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