Prayers and encouragement needed and appreciated

Having an active prayer life helps a lot. It goes a long way when your thoughts are flooded with high thoughts of God.

I pray that the Lord cures your loneliness and that He helps you fight against the desire for PMO. Amen.

 

I empathize with you. I was on a good streak, but fell into a spiral of relapses. And I find myself also in a state of apathy. Like you, I find it hard to get out of bed for the worthy stuff of life; yet, even in this state, I find it very easy to find the energy to engage with porn--the poster-child for the unworthy stuff of life. The never-ending relapses, the uncertainty, the feeling of distance from God--all of these things and more--feel as if they are part of a curse. This curse is one of my own making, but Christ is greater. Though I may not feel this reality, and though I find myself wavering in the belief of this reality, Christ remains. My cry is the that of a character from the gospels, the father of a demon-possessed son, who in his desperation confessed, "I believe Lord, but help my unbelief."
Let me repeat: I believe Lord, please help my unbelief.
I want to believe with a greater capacity that I currently don't possess.
My prayer for you and I is that we may experience this greater capacity of belief and a very real and nourishing increase in faith--an increase that will be tangible to us and to those we encounter.
God be with us. May His face shine upon us, to deliver us from the mire we so regularly turn to.

 

I can't say it any better than @Joel2_2326 did above, so I will just second everything he said. Don't despair and don't forget what God has said about you:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ezu7SNWg163_0TVbo0iU1QDx92TxYRdA38T5kJkMfJk/edit

Embrace his identity for you, get forgiveness, and get moving forward. The door to our prison is open; we must only choose to step out of the cage and follow him. Those first few steps may feel excruciating, but they are the steps that truly lead to life. I am praying for you and cheering you on toward a new kind of life in Christ!