Pre-med / Medical Students

Hello future Doctors,
I'm currently a PostBac student hoping to enter medical school by Fall 2018.
I want to share some of my thoughts as I continue my journey.
I have some questions in the end.

The consequence of PMO is all too familiar.
Waking up late, constant fatigue, broken communication, poor concentration/memory, loss of human connection, lack of confidence, brain fog, and more...

Do you ever wake up scared that these will potentially put someone's life in danger?
Or that these shortcomings will hinder your ability to be a good doctor?

As an Emergency physician, you have to know how to work under pressure.
As a surgeon, you need an impeccable focus.
As a family doc, you need to maintain strong connections with families to continue their care.
You need to exude confidence so that your patients can trust you.
You need to display strong communication to ease their tension.
You need to be able to endure long and demanding hours.
The list goes on.

Some days, I am devasted that I won't be able to even sustain eye contact with a patient due to my social anxiety following PMO.
My judgment gets clouded as well. And what if I make the wrong call? What if my brain fog is so severe that I can't remember basic symptoms/protocol/drug dose?

As a future physician, we are placed with a greater responsibility.
If I can't take care of my own disease, how can I be sure that I can help others? What if I just can't stay awake?

QUESTIONS:
Do you experience similar thoughts?
How do you handle this?
How has PMO affected your life and your decision to pursue medicine?

Feel free to add more comments if you wish.
More the better.

 

Thanks so much for your response!
But at times, no matter how much you believe, youre completely incapable since your brain is shutting down...

But the stuff you went through is the stuff I exactly fear...