Premature Ejaculation, I don't know what to do anymore

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by glaglock, Jun 1, 2020.

  1. glaglock

    glaglock New Fapstronaut

    Hey there good people,
    I'm 19 years old and have my first real girlfriend since a few months. My first time having sex was with her. Most of the times we have sex, I last around 10 seconds of penetration until I reach orgasm. Sometimes, mostly when we have sex some time after that the same day, I last a bit longer, around 30 seconds. This is really depressing me and I'm beginning to lose interest in having sex with her, as it puts me in a bad mood everytime.

    Since I was 14 I masturbated around 2 times a week, sometimes more, sometimes less, but always using porn. I am circumcised so poorly, I dont have that much sense in my penis. So masturbating was always just about reaching orgasm fast, the jerking itself isn't that much fun for me. So this behaviour may be the reason for my PE, though I tried some things:

    I tried strengthen my PC muscle for around a month/two months daily, I sensed it becoming stronger, though it did not change anything concerning PE.
    I also tried edging with porn now, as I can comprehend how edging should help PE caused by my kind of masturbation. I did it now for around a month daily, for about 20-30 minutes, while letting myself orgasm just every 2nd day. I take a lot longer to orgasm when masturbating now, though today when I had sex again after a few weeks, I came, again, in around 10 seconds. Which was the reason I signed up here, as I really hoped that my edging would have helped me and Im very frustrated right now as it didn't do anything.
    I tried to monitor my breathing and try to breath very calmly and regularly.. No poditive effect.
    I have some L-Tryptophan pills here, I started taking them as a nutrition daily since I began to edge, as PE may be caused by Depression and a lack of Serotonin, which I may also have. I'm not really depressed, as I think. I just became an emotionally cold person over the last years, and sometimes I feel very sad randomly; I'm not sure if this is a depression yet. I also dont care about a lot of things, I let life pass. I have hobbys, but when I dont ride my motorcycle or play football, i feel very empty inside. I'd love to try SSRIs to get to know if my PE is caused by my kind of depression, though I really dont want to go to the doctor because of it. Also I dont want to take pills everytime before sex, this would be the last thing I'd do if nothing else works to cure my PE. I may get myself SSRIs somewhere else, if nothing else works.

    Im planing to completely cut out the porn, which really shouldn't be a problem for me and continue to do edging. Though I am not sure if I am doing the right thing. What else can I do? I am motivated to do lots of stuff to cure my PE. I want to get rid of this problem asap.

    This thing has been driving me crazy for a while now and it really effects my quality on life, as I have to think about it a lot. I think I red almost everything on the internet about this topic and I feel helpless right now. I would kindly ask for answers by people who know some things about PE, and not just guesses by people, hearing of PE the first time now. Thank you very much for reading.
    Igoumah likes this.
  2. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

    Man, i didn't read the entire post but it's pretty common. You should develop some good foreplay in order to learn how to please her before you go and release some pressure on yourself.

    More control will eventually come with experience, and when you gain it you'll have some good foreplay tactics too :)

    Even now that i'm quiete experienced i get some weeks where i only have PE. Just don't cry about it and have a laugh!
    +TenPercent likes this.
  3. -ChangeYourLife-

    -ChangeYourLife- Fapstronaut

    Well, you're inexperienced, it's pretty normal. Also, you did train your body and mind by masturbating and pornography, so now you have to work hard on it.
  4. BecamingBest

    BecamingBest Fapstronaut

    I know that sometimes it seems very difficult, you have tried breathing techniques, tried to strengthen the PC muscle, tried edging and many other stuffs, but nothing works.

    I know what you're feeling, and the horrible feeling that happens when you think about it.

    If I had to give you advice, it would be:

    1) Cut out all the masturbation and pornography in your life. Believe me, no masturbation technique will work, since your brain is already damaged. All of your masturbation sessions, when you tried to ejaculate as quickly as possible, installed a bad pattern in your brain. To change the situation, you need to start NOFAP.

    2) Stop thinking about sex during any fap, forget it, learn a language, sing something, stop worrying about it. The more you think about it the more alive you will make this little monster.

    * I'm sure you will get better results and everything will be fine. Just be patient and have faith.
  5. Saythatagain

    Saythatagain Fapstronaut

    What they say is true. I'm going thru SA recovery and my wife and I are in a bad place. I'm not PMO or MO so when we do become intimate it's more about the connection than the physical part of sex. I tend to last a lot longer. Touch her, focus on her and maybe even say this time it's all about you. Takes all the pressure off you. But man, other times I hate say, but I've not even gotten B deep before I came. Very frustrating. Go to the transmutation section in the forums. I tried it and went 2 hours of actual slow penetration before. It's possible.
  6. pe help

    pe help Fapstronaut

    If you are still around you could try doing what I did to overcome PE. I am posting it everywhere since I feel I have perfected it enough and maybe it helps some people. Try the following breathing/tension sequence when entering the girl:

    1. I exhale and hold that exhale while I position my hips in posterior pelvic tilt (PPT).

    2. When I am in PPT I force myself to exhale a bit more using my abs to push out any air left… after that I immediately feel the need to inhale (even more if I´m fucking) so I inhale BUT only into my chest, keeping my lower belly tucked in (leave it in the position it was after forcing the exhale with your abs).

    3. Hold that chest inhale for a couple of seconds and tense the muscles in your lower back, then again force the exhale using your abs. Your lower stomach should now be tucked in even more (since it already was tucked in before).

    4. Immediately inhale again into your chest and hold it again, then repeat step 3. Do this 3 or 4 times. Each time your lower belly should be more tucked in and your lower back muscles should tense up more after each inhale. By the way once you tense the lower back muscles you don´t let them loosen up again until this cycle is over.

    5. After 3 or 4 times of this release everything, breathe normally and continue with your thing.

    During this whole process you want to try and maintain your body in a PPT position as good as you can, so use your back to pound but keep your hips locked.

    Let me know if it helped
  7. Nittabundy18

    Nittabundy18 New Fapstronaut

    Yo my friend, same problem man i tried everything pills antidepress all that shit, i found out that a desensetising spray worked really good i am from holland its called stud 100 i can easily fuck 1 round 10 minutes 2 round 20 or not cum. Altough i dont like the spray because i always gotta wear condom till i found a solution just started NoFap hard mode one week in. Hoping to cure even if it takes a year. U should try that 2 in the mean time use the spray i think in the us promescent is the best one.

    Keep your hopes up brother!
  8. It's more or less psychological, try going out and hang out with a bunch of dudes, lift some heavy weights, and have more sex, usually the second round is the best round both for you and your SO and try the good Ol' play a documentary on the TV and focus on what the commentator is saying while at it

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