Preparing for a date when my streak sucks

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by NF SINCE BIRTH, Jun 23, 2021.

  1. I have met this girl more than a few times now. It must be about 10 times now and at least 5 proper dates. Last time she was flirting a lot more than on any of the previous dates. We were quite close and I had the chance to kiss her on multiple occasions and I considered it. But for some reason I didnt feel it that day. I was about a week clean back then and even though I know that we have good chemistry I didnt kiss her.

    I am meeting her again this weekend and the fact that she still wants to meet even when I am as slow like this must mean that she is pretty into me but it wont last forever if I keep second guessing if I should kiss her or not.

    My streak sucks and I am having a hard time getting out of my brain fog and getting turned on by real girls. She is above average pretty so her looks is nothing to complain about.

    I am taking vitamines, drinking a lot of water, trying to get some fresh air every day to get my mind in a better shape before meeting her this weekend.

    I also need to somehow manage to turn myself on around her. I am thinking of kissing her this weekend even if I dont really feel like it. It isnt about her. She is more than good enough.

    Maybe I should take her up on her offer of going to a spa or a bath. Maybe I need to see some skin to make my brain wake up. I have some ideas. I need to visualize what I think makes her pretty. It shouldnt be too hard. Nothing to say about her body, her smile, humor or way of flirting. It is all pretty sexy.

    She is somewhat shy but I need to get out of my head and make the moves.
     
    Vanquisher12 likes this.
  2. becomingreat

    becomingreat Fapstronaut

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    Don't make it complicated and don't overthink so much. If you feel she is the one for you then go kiss her man.
     
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  3. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    Remember what happened with the last woman you behave like this? you got friendzoned when you went for the kiss after a looooot of dates.. guess what is probably going here? You see her 10 times and you didn't went for the kiss? what a waist of time. You are just hanging as friends, that's not what you want.

    Woman offer that kind of stuff to friends, not to possible partners. She probably see you as a male girlfriend by now or she may think you are gay or so weak that is not man enough to go for the kiss.
    Keep doing the same thing with every woman you like and all of them are going to reject you, friendzone you or use you for free meals. "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"
     
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  4. No idea where you get all these theories from. I am going to kiss her tomorrow and prove you wrong.
    I have a habit of not kissing girls if I cant feel it but with this girl I just have to do it at this point.
    The last girl was mostly me btw. It could have been something. She wasn't the right one because she was mentally ill and unavailable too much. Too bad I didn't let her go earlier.

    What kind of books do you even read? Her body language tells me otherwise. These tips seems outdated by maybe 50 years. Not everyone are extroverts. I need to meet a girl probably 10 times to even make up my mind. Now I have made up my mind about her and if she weren't interested she would have ran off weeks ago. We weren't dating in the beginning. Just hanging out and got to know each others. Last time she was the one asking me out and she made sure I knew it was a date. With that said, I should probably have kissed her earlier but I wasn't ready. I still had second thoughts.

    And her suggesting we go to a naked spa together definitely does not sound like anything but a date.

    I dont kiss unless it means something. I dont fall for a woman's looks alone. She needs to show me that she got humor, common interests and a brain as well before I seriously consider kissing her. It is not that I am afraid of kissing, I am just holding back until I am sure. I am also honest about this if the girl hints that she wants me to move faster.

    When it comes to other forms of flirting I am usually touching quite a lot. I moved her hair away last time we met and sort of leaned in for a kiss while holding her head but cancelled last second. I did this several times. So I believe she is really waiting for that kiss now..
     
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  5. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    You went out with a woman 10 times and you didn't make a move on her. Who do you think is outdated in his approach?
    There are plenty of woman that will enjoy your attention and validation for a lot more than 10 dates without the need to be physicall with you. What if you go for the kiss and she tell you that you are just friends? (yes, it happened to you before were you though she was into you) 10 dates and months waisting time with this woman to end up with blue balls and back to scratch.

    Again, you already told us that you are in a bad streak with woman and the way you are behaving with them is totally turning them off. High value woman are for sure going to be turned off by a guy that is behaving so weak and doubfull. On the other hand, low value woman maybe would put up with it just because they don't have more options. With your approach you can get laid with low value woman, but you are not going to get a high value woman with this approach.
     
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  6. todolist

    todolist Fapstronaut

    Don't listen to the 'value bros' dude, sounds like you're doing great. Just don't overthink shit.
     
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  7. Vanquisher12

    Vanquisher12 Fapstronaut

    Well, friend, as you were so supportive and helpful with my situation, I'd be happy to help you with yours as best I can.

    She certainly seems to be into you, you've been on 5 proper dates with her and she still wants more. She's still flirting with you so she's certainly still inviting you to be her boyfriend, and as long as you keep up with the flirtatious touching, talking about romance to her and use your shared knowledge of each other to flirt with her on an intimate level, you should be able to keep that chemistry alive with her for a while longer, but as others have said it won't last forever. If she finds you're not going the distance, she will think you're either not strong enough or not certain enough to pursue a relationship with her and move on. You've already been on five dates with her, so as long as you have no complaints about her and you feel she's the right one for you (which she certainly seems to be given her persistent interest), I say go for it! You've got nothing to lose and potentially a huge amount to gain!

    I wish you the best of luck! :)
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  8. Not commenting on everyone but you all got valid points although I usually think @p1n1983 usually is a little extreme in his dating views. He have some points even if I usually dont agree with him. I think your answer is the best one. Its always two sides of it. Not as black and white as some people want me to believe. You are all right in a way. I need to go the distance and make sure she knows what page I am on. The thing with PMO addiction is that I have a hard time getting turned on by her when my streak sucks. I met up with her today. She told me she wasnt feeling too good today so I just said I had brain fog and took the pressure out of it. She bumped into me a lot, touched me a little and we talked about porn of all things (her idea). I did most of the touching today and she was a little distant. She is comfortable with me touching her face, thights, hair, grabbing her hand, her ass, touching her neck (she told me she liked it) and touched me back. She invited me to waterboarding tomorrow and offered to pay 80 bucks for it. No idea what it is. She told me it is some kind of board we stand on while trying to row down a river or something. And we have to be naked.. So good luck me lol.
     
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  9. Vanquisher12

    Vanquisher12 Fapstronaut

    Waterboarding is where you stand on a board that’s like a larger surfboard, and use a long oar to paddle your way down the river, pretty much like canoeing standing up.

    You usually just wear a wetsuit for it like other beach and river sports, but if she insists you go naked, it’s clear she has the hots for you (especially if she’s fine with you touching her bottom and thighs). That’s great that you can also talk to her about more intimate things, does she know about your porn trouble? Because if so she could be a valuable ally in supporting you with escaping it.

    Regardless, she’s 110% into you, you should definitely kiss her at some point before or after waterboarding tomorrow. Don’t worry about whether she’s turning you on sexually or not at this time, just focus on how you feel in your head about her. With regards to romance I always check the feelings I have in my head and heart rather than in my sex organs, and when I feel an urge to initiate romance it feels like a volcano, with a wave of adrenaline starting in my stomach and bubbling up through my body to my head (I experienced this when asking another girl on an online game chat to be my girlfriend once, we were only together for around two days though so I don’t count it as a proper relationship). When you feel that volcanic desire while talking to her, that’s the time to move in and kiss her with all your romantic passion.

    Best of luck my friend! :)
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  10. Thanks. Hopefully we wont have to do it naked. I definitively have some feelings for her already. I cant get turned on by her yet. I havent told her about my porn problem but maybe I should at some point when it feels right. I mean, she shows me all kinds of signs that she is into me. The only thing I notice is that she uses some time to build up the nerve to touch me a lot after not seeing her in a month as was the case today. I noticed several things about her today. She dressed nicer than usual, she made sure I could see her boobs, complaining that one button was missing. She usually covers herself up. Then she acted all weird when I was going to pay for some tea. She almost insisted on paying but it was too late. No big deal for me since she payed last time but she offered to pay tomorrow instead which is a lot more expensive but I wont stop her if she feels like she has to pay for something. She also seemed to have used some sort of lip gloss. The date was cut short by her father. He was going to help her with something in her appartment. She is soon moving in there. She just needs some furniture. I think it was ok that todays date was a little shorter, only 2 hours. It was just a little catching up from last time. I think tomorrow will be a good one.
     
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