Pretty girls make me high, what the hell is up with me ? argh !

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by silex_jedi, Oct 11, 2021.

  1. silex_jedi

    silex_jedi Fapstronaut

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    hello !
    without further a do, i am very sensible to beauty (i think), however that means that i might be a voyeur (correction i am, and i am in recovery right now)... now and then i see a girl that suits my taste very much, like earlier today in the train, we sat in the same "zone", my brain just switches mode, and it become hard to think about something else, EVEN if i try to do something else... i did read though so it was not that bad, it could be a solution.

    my brain screams joy when i see a girl that suits my taste, and it's hijacking my attention. IS THAT WRONG ???

    WHY write this post ?
    i am concerned because it's going to be winter, and the leaves are going to fall and i will be able to see my neighbours window again... and i want to keep the blinds open, not disturb her privacy as well. and i don't know what to do about it in general...

    i feel hopeless... it makes me sad...

    (should i see a psychologist ?)

    what should i do about my tendency to get high when i see a beautiful girl ?
    what should i do ?
     
  2. somuchforsubtlety

    somuchforsubtlety Fapstronaut

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    except for the fact that you are spying on your neighbor id say it is pretty standard behavior for a young male, but it can't hurt to see a expert about this(just make sure to get a second opinion, some of the thing fapstronaut's therapist have told them is making me doubt their whole field).
     
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  3. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    Just accept it and don't fight it. It's completely normal, if you fight it your brain will be unnaturally fixated to it.

    Flow with being a man.
     
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  4. silentmike

    silentmike Fapstronaut

    Its normal, I call it a "radar" - it automatically locates hot babes in the closest distance. The question is what are your thoughts when you see such nice lady? Are you fantasizing about her? Does it brings you some discomfort? Unfortunately your thoughts might be disturbed by your PMO addiction.
     
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  5. TheLightOne

    TheLightOne Fapstronaut

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    Guess what. We are all addicted to women. Let yourself admire her beauty but in a way shes not disturbed.
     
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  6. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Seems pretty normal. I'm not advocating flirting with every cute girl you see (definitely don't do that), but if you're in the presence of a girl that seems to catch your interest and it's appropriate to talk to her, see what's up with her! I wouldn't start off with calling her beautiful/pretty, just start a normal conversation about something you're interested in about her. If you don't see anything interested about her besides her looks, she's probably not worth talking to because you shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone just because of the way she looks.

    Ask if she knows the host of the party. Ask what her outfit or costume is. Ask if she went to the school on her shirt. Whatever you're curious about, ask her. Questions are great for getting to know someone and developing a relationship. If you're scared about socializing or her judging you, pretend you're interviewing her. I do this all the time, especially on dates or when I'm trying to improve my relationship with someone. Ask her about her job, and if it's something interesting or something they're excited about, ask anything you're curious about, no matter how dumb. My girlfriend is a scientist, and on our first few dates I was constantly asking what she does in the lab, what type of proteins she works with, the applications for her work, literally anything. They'll love that you're interested in something that means a lot to them and she'll like that you're intelligent enough to ask questions and understand the answers. The best part is at the end when you say "Wow that's so cool!" after a genuine cool thing; literal pantydropper. Even if you don't understand everything, it's perfectly fine to admit that to her, ask if there's any way to explain it to you, and say it's awesome how smart/capable she is. (If they're bagging groceries or babysitting maybe ask about another topic)

    I've carried this strategy over into my life in general. Asking questions to people you want to to improve your relationship with or get to know better is literally the best way; you literally get to know someone by asking questions lmao. It's a good work strategy as well, but you have to balance the line between curiosity/problem solving and annoyance/incompetence. Even if you don't really care about your relationship with a particular person, practicing in a low stakes environment makes it much easier when on dates and such. Asking questions to individuals in social group settings is a fantastic way to improve your social status perception without seeming like an asshole or someone who dominates conversations. I've found frequent questions with women that are my platonic friends (or semi-platonic, friendly yet flirty), is a great way to be surrounded by females that are interested in you, driving up your romantic value. Having women around you and saying you make them feel comfortable tells romantic partners you're not a creep and you won't murder them at your house. Being "too close" with those ladies my drive away some partners, but those with self confidence and other high-status qualities will find this really attractive, even if they don't say so. My girlfriend gets a little frustrated and testy that I text some girls I'm friends with and hang out with them without my girlfriend present (always in group settings, never alone), but when my gf and those girls are together, they have so much fun and practically enjoy each other more than hanging out with me. This is especially true when drunk, when people's true feelings tend to come out.

    Got a little off track, but if a lady catches your eye and you're curious about something besides her boobs or butt, ask her whatsup!
     
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  7. Rev2.0

    Rev2.0 Fapstronaut

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    Others take note: there is a lot of wisdom and good practical tips in what this guy said. Especially the part about asking questions. One thoughtful, well timed question that really gets to the core of her being will get you farther than a dozen lame jokes or anything you might be tempted to say to impress her. It works in social situations other than dating and in professional interactions too.
     
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  8. DortyHirts

    DortyHirts Fapstronaut

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    Totally agree with you.
     
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  9. E31

    E31 Fapstronaut

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    You have a dick, thats whats up with you.

    (sorry, the constructive answers were already given :p)
     
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  10. silex_jedi

    silex_jedi Fapstronaut

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    aha, thanks ! that's so funny, that's a good sum up of what our friends up there already said !
     
  11. silex_jedi

    silex_jedi Fapstronaut

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    thanks for your thorough answer on that topic ! i have started "nofap" because of my misconceptions about girls, and my place among people in general... my biggest problem and (i am only realising it now) is that i don't have to date every woman i cross paths with... but as this idea slowly sinks in, it has become more peaceful (as well as bitter, but that's the cost of a lie repeated a lot).
     
  12. silex_jedi

    silex_jedi Fapstronaut

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    thanks ! that was useful today. i still act awkward though... that's okay, i just have to work on it.
     
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  13. silex_jedi

    silex_jedi Fapstronaut

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    well, i am sensible to beauty... and it could be a "manifestation of God's creation" in some sense... but also what's the point in telling her she made my day by her looks ? i am tall, and i find it annoying when someone reminds me that, so i understand. i am glad i answered, i realised something about my patterns of thinking answering that one @silentmike !
     
  14. Everything (except the window part) is standard behavior. Very simple... Just accept the attraction you feel towards attractive women, the more you try to avoid it the more your mind will focus on it. So just let it flow and eventually you'll get accustomed to it.
     

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