Problem with the addiction

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ID_7576, Aug 8, 2020.

  1. ID_7576

    ID_7576 Fapstronaut

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    I have tried to abstain from PMO many times. But i relapse every once in a while. I am critically addicted to jerk off instructions. Today, following a Cei clip; I jerked into my mouth which was really a regretful experience. I am relapsing everyday (sometimes twice a day) due to addiction to these joi videos. Anybody please tell me how can I start my reboot again? How should I take a start?
     
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  2. Emanuil

    Emanuil Fapstronaut

    Understanding your habit would be a good beginning.
    First, you have to decide do you want to stop with this habit and more importantly why would you like to do that?
    Does it bother you at all and why? What triggers your urge to jerk at all? what's the reason?
    Then it would be useful to think about why that particular type of porn (CEI/JOI) attracts you?
    Why did you need to ejaculate like that? (you could do it in some other way.)
    How did you felt before you started and immediately after orgasm?
     
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  3. ID_7576

    ID_7576 Fapstronaut

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    I want to stop this because it wastes a lot of my time and energy, daily.
    Mainly, the triggers are po*nstars to whom I had developed a need of. First of all, the urge, and desire to watch them approaches me. And then, I don't know how I just follow them like a puppet and end this filthy task of mastr. After that, I just suddenly become conscious of what I have done and feel bad.
    I mostly work from my room all day except some evening exercises. But when I get a little extra time, it happens.
    This is all.
     
  4. Emanuil

    Emanuil Fapstronaut

    • I want to stop this because it wastes a lot of my time and energy, daily.
    If this is all and entirely true this problem would be easily savable. You can shorten time you waist on PMO to like 10-15 min. (since you said you do it 1-2 times, you wouldn’t be spending more than 30 minutes daily on this habit). Eating healthy and exercising more would give you more energy. So, obviously this is not all.
    Take some time and think about what would you really like to change in your life (time and energy are easily solvable tasks.)
    • Mainly, the triggers are porn stars to whom I had developed a need of
    This sounds almost like “they made me do it” which simply can’t be. You found that particular type of porn and those actors, they didn’t find you! If it’s just that - then you could simply stop watching them and problem solved;)
    • First of all, the urge, and desire to watch them approaches me.
    What urge exactly do you have? (If it were just an urge to reach orgasm you could have done it in numerous ways. Since you need to watch very specific videos - there must be more to this).
    Try to think and describe in detail what you feel before these thoughts come to mind! (Are just feeling horny or there is some tension, anxiety, nervousness besides?) Observe yourself before, and if easier, write down all feelings you have before (make a list).
    How exactly “that desire approaches you” – almost sounds like you’re overwhelmed by some supernatural force?
    • And then, I don't know how I just follow them like a puppet and end this filthy task of master.
    It seems like you are entering in some trans-like, (puppet) state of submission where you are not anymore responsible for your behavior - right? After that, you just let them “guide” you through the process of masturbation and reaching orgasm.
    What exactly is the "filthy task" and why is it filthy? If she is the master than what are you?
    This can be an indication that your porn addiction is just the tip of an iceberg. It can be problem related to your attitude towards (filthy task) of masturbation itself or some very mild sexual behavior problem.
    How are you satisfied with your emotional/sexual life anyway?
    • I mostly work from my room all day except some evening exercises. But when I get a little extra time, it happens.
    It’s true that working and spending most of the day at home creates a positive environment for this habit, but you can’t change that. Extra time can’t be reason by itself (if that’s the case then some people would masturbate all day:) I work from home too, and I haven’t done it for 9 months.
    If you don’t feel comfortable talking about your privacy here fell free to contact me through msg.
     
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2020
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  5. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    You want to follow instructions, write yourself a detailed list of things you want to accomplish before you go to bed. And get up and follow the list exactly, just like you followed the instructions in the video, whether you want to do them or not.

    Don't try and change your personality type - I mean, that can come later. Work with it and use it to your advantage!
     
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  6. ID_7576

    ID_7576 Fapstronaut

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    You are true. I mean how did I Not look at things from this perspective..
    I think these different thinking ideas create huge impact on me. Thank you a lot brother.
    I think I am getting over it. I'm happy as today is my 2nd day of abstinence, after so long.
     
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  7. ID_7576

    ID_7576 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks my friend. This is true.. And yes, I've started planning my day daily now. I have been thinking to do it from a long time as my days went totally unstructured.
    It really helps.
     
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  8. mouton1998

    mouton1998 Fapstronaut

    I think looking for a psychotherapist would be a good start.
    With a psychotherapeutic cycle you learn to strengthen your self-control through various techniques; you understand what are some of the mechanisms that cause you to relapse and you have someone to vent/ask for help in person. Obviously you are free to follow it or not (this, in fact, is what worked best for me).
     
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  9. Try to look into your situation by a scientific way: start to research and discover how your body works and how the PMO influence your organism. Also, research in this website effective ways to defeat this vice from your life, sharing your experience and helping others, this will help you a lot.

    If you want to be free, you need to fullfuill you time with good stuff like:

    -Physical exercise;
    -Reading;
    -Spending time with your family;
    -Spending time to achieve your goals;
    -Joining/making part of some kind of faith;

    IMPORTANT: the best place for this kind of research is this forum. Dont try to do this on google because the great part of the "specialists" are in the side of the P industry.
     

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