Problems quitting after clean for 11 months

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by jaycja, Aug 10, 2021.

  1. jaycja

    jaycja Fapstronaut

    9
    3
    3
    So this is my first post in a LONG time. To keep a long story short i was off porn and PMO completely for 11 months and alot changed in my life for the better. My relationships became the strongest they’ve ever been, I got my own apartment for the first time, got a great job that I love and many many other things. The problem is though that many other challenges arised that I had no idea how to deal with and lots of unseen stressful situations entered my life which ended up with me throwing myself right back into addiction once again. Generally due to having lack of access to a good support system after my life changed. Fun fact about working all the time, living alone and being locked out of a community that pushes you out of bad habits: it’s a great soil for bad and evil habits like addiction to re-enter your life! Now, I just relapsed and let me tell you how bad it got. I can’t even go a week without relapsing. I wish I could quit through not even touching my phone like I originally did and with pure will power but the problem is that I’m required to have my phone daily for Job among other things and given my schedule and nature of my very physical Job..i just don’t have the energy to will power through it..any advice?
     
  2. becomingreat

    becomingreat Fapstronaut

    218
    230
    43
    Don't rely on willpower. Install blockers both on your pc and phone. I'd even uninstall browsers from my phone as it is easier to bypass blockers on phones. So I'd only use messengers and few other internet based apps on phone but not browsers. Lock playstore also so that u can't download new apps.

    Literally put restriction on your access to porn. If it isn't easy to access then you probably won't relapse
     
    Buddhism Is True likes this.
  3. jaycja

    jaycja Fapstronaut

    9
    3
    3
    Any recommendations for blockers? Another problem for me is that I HAVE to use browsers daily to fill out a covid screening for work. I know how to block safari over all, but not “private mode” or any even specific sites.
     
  4. becomingreat

    becomingreat Fapstronaut

    218
    230
    43
    I use variety of apps for that.
    It seems u got apple, if thats the case u need to do your own research for it.
    I use qustudio+block site extention+an app to disable incognito+app lock

    U need to take your time and customize the filtering app. It takes patience
     
  5. Buddhism Is True

    Buddhism Is True Fapstronaut

    1,334
    1,973
    143
    Thanks for being a cautionary tale. Presumably, if you quit porn for 11 months once you can do it again.
     
    jaycja likes this.
  6. jaycja

    jaycja Fapstronaut

    9
    3
    3
    For sure, addiction doesn’t go away that quickly. I would definitely advise to be very much on top of it no matter how long the streak. I can do the 11 months again, but the issue is my circumstances and requirements have changed (i.e I can’t just start quitting by staying off the internet browser and phone since I have to have it for Work and I’m more isolated due to living alone etc.) Today I came up with a plan for how I’ll adapt to that but we’ll see how that goes Either I relapse again or go on another streak, hopefully it’s the ladder
     
  7. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

    Yes, I recently came off of a six-month free-of-PMO streak, which was wonderful. I hadn't gone that long in decades. All internal temptations for P and MO vanished, but now that my sick introverted and narcissistic sexual patterns were gone, external "street side" sexual temptations became more hyped up than I ever noticed before, which caused me to fall. It caught me off guard since it seemed like I was on unchartered territory. I then went for four months in a major rut of PMO addiction once again. It was amazing - right back into the shit hole that I was in before. I couldn't even make it for 7 days without PMO.

    Now, I have regrouped myself together to start again. I know I have all the tools I need since I had success in the recent year. The thing about having had a long streak, one knows that one can get there again and most likely surpass it. Sometimes there's a little intervening rut, but one gets back on track. One day at a time, and time goes by fast. It's unlike the early years in Nofap recovery when we couldn't even know or trust that we could get to a certain time point, never mind 90 days or even beyond. Every additional week of progress was suspect and hard to believe, and we were somewhat blind to whether we could even possibly progress even more. And, the addict self used that fear and doubt against us, occasioning new and discouraging falls. Regretfully, we see this all around us with many guys who have never known (and may never know) what it is like to go beyond a few weeks. But, now we know better. This is it, my friend!!! I know you can start again and get back to where you were and beyond. You're actually not starting at the beginning where you were when you first started Nofap, even though a present rut may feel like that.

    Best wishes!

    .
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2021
    UncleBob, jaycja and Keli like this.
  8. jaycja

    jaycja Fapstronaut

    9
    3
    3
    Thanks man! I've been clean for a week or so, it's actually a bit of a blur as to when I actually stopped since I haven't been counting this time..hopefully I make it to 1, even 2 years if I can! I hope you can too and get back out of that rut!
     
  9. ThisIsHard97

    ThisIsHard97 Fapstronaut

    98
    203
    33
  10. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    After doing your reboot for at least 3 months, which you did, you should start engaging in normal sexual behaviors to rewire your brain. This is the best way to prevent porn from coming back into your life.

    A reboot basically clears out most of the junk in your head wired to porn. However, this leaves a big empty space, dying for stimulation. If you go back to porn, it's gonna fill back up with neurons wired to porn, just like before. Instead, you need to socialize with women, if you're lucky get some dates, and if you're likable you'll get some kisses, fun times, and hopefully sex. Doing things like this "rewires" that empty space in your brain towards these positive sexual behaviors. Filling up that space makes it harder for porn to take root again, and even if you relapse, they will be much less severe each successive time.

    I hope that made sense. Check out these articles from Your Brain on Porn about the same stuff.

    see rebooting basics page

    Do I have to have sex in order to rewire?

    Will stopping porn solve my problems?

    Started young on Internet porn and my recovery from erectile dysfunction is taking too long.

    How do I know when I’m back to normal?

    How do I cope with porn flashbacks?

    What do I do when I have too much sexual energy?

    Why is intermittent use (long abstinence with binges) an addiction risk? (VERY IMPORTANT)
     
    StayStrongforawhile likes this.
  11. jaycja

    jaycja Fapstronaut

    9
    3
    3
    Honestly not really, sexual behaviour is immoral outside of marriage and should only be used to create children. And although being a Father and Husband is my end goal, I’m obviously not there yet. I appreciate the articles, I’ve read some already. The problem with this strategy as well is that it may just lead to sex addiction instead. The best thing to do that I’ve found is to practice discipline and fill that void with good things that I may not really enjoy such as eating enough for bulking, or fasting to cut, working out etc. The more sexual partners one has, the less likely they are to find a long term partner and the more likely they are for failed relationships. I appreciate the support though
     
  12. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Well you did 11 months once. No reason you can't do it again.
     

Share This Page