Problems related to the past

Hey guys, let me explain my problems
I started PMO at 11,was without porn for the first years, then with porn. I had my first girlfriend at 17 and i stayed with her 5 years.. In these 5 years i had tons of sex with her, and pmo often after sex too.. I was completely imbued into sex. Tons of pics from her and porn. Sometimes during sex happened that i needed to think to other girls to get it hard.. And i was and I'm so ashamed for that. But, after five years we broke up, and now almost two years are passed. She has a new life, and I'm in a long distance relationship, never had sex with her neither pics, nothing at all. But I'm still in the past, i pmoed thinking about my ex a lot in these two years.. One day, after one year, i changed phone and i had WhatsApp backups with pics of her nude, and i masturbated with that,but i deleted after that all the pics. And sometimes i blame myself for that because i want to see that pics again. I feel like shit because I'm not able to start a new life, living through memories and suffering for nothing. I just want my life and live my present. I don't want that part of me, she's not here anymore, and i know that i don't love her, i just love her body.. I hate myself because my current girlfriend doesn't know this, i just want to be a better man..