Problems with my wife.

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by outlaw007, Oct 28, 2020.

  1. outlaw007

    outlaw007 Fapstronaut

    Recently, I realized that my wife doesn't attracts me at all after 5 years passed. What should I do?
  2. Mujahid21

    Mujahid21 Fapstronaut

    there are two reasons: your porn addiction or you don't love her.
    my suggestion:
    1. try full hard mode for 5 months and then have sexual with her. if she is still unattractive yoi can choose to stay with unthealthy relationship or
    2. you can break or divorce. it's better than you hurt her..
  3. MikeSilva

    MikeSilva Fapstronaut

    What is the reason she does not attract you anymore? You have to communicate with her about it. Why did you marry her in the first place? I think you were attrated to her but that suddenly changed because of some circumstances.
  4. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

    I am not married to advice you on this in details, but, I have seen and known this with many if my friends do complain the same. It's almost a challenge for them to get physical with there wives.
    To some extent this is possible but, major contribution is of porn because our real live women never match our pornstars. And we always have the problem then.

    And frankly we are all governed by demand and supply.

    Give your body /mind less of sex, external stimulation it start loving what we didn't in initial phase. You can observe this easily with fasting. If u fast the u start liking everything for that day...

    So I would say try Hard mode after having discussion with wife u can think about Orgasm but strict no to porn and masturbation.... You will observe changes easily in hard mode. I m in hard mode and now I could get erect by simple thinking also with same girl,
  5. Queek The HeadTakker

    Queek The HeadTakker Fapstronaut

    Find another wife
  6. CrimsnBlade

    CrimsnBlade Fapstronaut

    Are you saying you aren't attracted to her looks? Or what are you not attracted to? Love and attraction go much deeper than outward appearance.
  7. @outlaw007 Please do not ask a question like that on this forum. Many of the answers you get will be from incels and unmarried people who will tell you to divorce your wife. PLEASE, go to a legitimate source for relationship advice - this is not one such source.

    On the other hand, if you need help quitting porn or masturbation, a few people here might be able to help you.
  8. Mr doctor

    Mr doctor Fapstronaut

  9. theMotivator

    theMotivator Fapstronaut

    Refresh your relationships. Don't overdo s. relations, because you get used to it and it gets disgusting. If you are addicted to P then you don't even have to ask why.
  10. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

    You love her like you promised to, you put everything you have into your relationship like your promised to. Your wife is not a sex doll that you're now sick of and want to throw away. Your marriage is also not all about sex, and not all about you either. Does that clarify?

    Psalm27:1my light likes this.
  11. bdn94

    bdn94 Fapstronaut

    I'm going to have to second what FellatiousD said, this is not the place to be going for advice on marriage. Most of the people here are unmarried and there are also a lot of manosphere types on here that are hostile to the idea of marriage in general, and are just going to tell you that your marriage is never going to work out because, in their view, marriage is a sham. I would go to a professional marriage counselor, because they have worked with tons of married couples and know how to fix problems in marriage.
  12. Rehab101

    Rehab101 Fapstronaut

    I also have attraction issues with my wife PHYSICALLY. The thing is the 1 percent girls within the porn or Instagram are just so much hotter and you are probably wondering what it's like to have sex with them. The only thing I can suggest as someone who is also facing this issue is try to focus on other good stuff of ur wife. Forgive urself for lusting after other women. Enjoy the moment rather than what if. I only married for a year. Good luck.
  13. One thing you need to realize or accept is looks fade over time, I had a girlfriend I dated 1 year who I was head over heels for, but oddly after a year my attraction to her became non existent, infact I became repulsed by her, I blame porn for this honestly because personality wise she and me were very very compatible but my desire for better looks tainted my image of her. Looking back at it now I wish I could talk to her again and maybe give it another shot. Like it or not your wife is a part of you now, marriage binds two souls together, your individual flames became one fire, finds ways to kindle that fire, or let it die out.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 1, 2020
    tonyk1982 likes this.
  14. bdn94

    bdn94 Fapstronaut

    Now I'm worried, because even though I haven't watched porn in forever, I'm worried it's raised my standards so much that when I get married I won't be attracted to my wife.
  15. TARS

    TARS Fapstronaut


    I recommend you seek the help of someone older that has been successful in their marriage and has likely already encountered this problem and overcome it - If not just going to a marriage counsellor.

    I'll also add a few thoughts for everyone to think about:

    Lust drives us towards what we don't have, and it will never be satisfied - nothing is ever enough. The antidote to this form of greed is gratitude. Be thankful for what you have; practice thankfulness for you wife.

    Read what C.S. Lewis has to say about love and marriage. He describes an initial 'being in love' that is thrilling but fades away, and a deeper love that replaces it and is lasting.

    Best wishes,

  16. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    I looked in the mirror recently and I'm not nearly as good-looking as I was five years ago.
    Trobone likes this.
  17. Probably not a good website/forum to find relationship advice.
    The relationship may have run its course, or maybe the porn made you lose attraction.

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