Problems with red pill

E

extreming96

Fapstronaut
Hello all,

When I was younger I always dated while learning more and more about red pill. I almost always succeeded. Now I am older, I see it as games and I don’t wanna play games no more.

Whenever I date now, girls just treat me bad. I respond quickly, am nice and 9/10 times don’t really wanna argue. It’s not that I can’t I just dont have the energy for it anymore.

so the reason I am writing this and the advice im looking for:
Should I just quit dating for the upcoming months or just stick to red pill again? But it feels like I am trying to be someone I am not. And whenever I am in a bad mood or slept bad I can’t ‘fake’ it no more. So thank you for any tips. These last 12 months were so bad, girls would cancel dates last minutes, taking 6-7 days to respond, not having time for at least 1 month. Are there people here that think dating apps are the problem? All the girls above are from tinder and for some reason always have emotional baggage.
 
You got good at gaming, congratulations, now that you don't want to game anymore you're surprised you're being gamed, I don't understand why you're surprised.

You can keep dating, just stop using Tinder. That's where people game. If you want to have a real date you have to look for someone serious, and you're not going to find them on dating apps.
 
extreming96 said:
Hello all,

When I was younger I always dated while learning more and more about red pill. I almost always succeeded. Now I am older, I see it as games and I don’t wanna play games no more.

Whenever I date now, girls just treat me bad. I respond quickly, am nice and 9/10 times don’t really wanna argue. It’s not that I can’t I just dont have the energy for it anymore.

so the reason I am writing this and the advice im looking for:
Should I just quit dating for the upcoming months or just stick to red pill again? But it feels like I am trying to be someone I am not. And whenever I am in a bad mood or slept bad I can’t ‘fake’ it no more. So thank you for any tips. These last 12 months were so bad, girls would cancel dates last minutes, taking 6-7 days to respond, not having time for at least 1 month. Are there people here that think dating apps are the problem? All the girls above are from tinder and for some reason always have emotional baggage.
Click to expand...

I am very confused by this. Reason is because anyone that says “redpill ideology” never has any game.

I would love to have this dialogue with you, I have always been successful in attracting women all from relationships, FWB, one night stands and was once even married.

anyone that ever says “redpill ideology” is usually ones that generally were never success in attracting women, so they look for outlets like the redpill space in hopes it is the solution to their problem they are having with women.

Give us more context about your background and what you mean when you say you were “successful” when it comes to women.

I will also add there is both by wrong if men decide to wait until marriage, it do anything sexual until marriage and only decide to do anything with a woman when it is something meaningful.
 
Keepitsimple1989 said:
I am very confused by this. Reason is because anyone that says “redpill ideology” never has any game.

I would love to have this dialogue with you, I have always been successful in attracting women all from relationships, FWB, one night stands and was once even married.

anyone that ever says “redpill ideology” is usually ones that generally were never success in attracting women, so they look for outlets like the redpill space in hopes it is the solution to their problem they are having with women.

Give us more context about your background and what you mean when you say you were “successful” when it comes to women.

I will also add there is both by wrong if men decide to wait until marriage, it do anything sexual until marriage and only decide to do anything with a woman when it is something meaningful.
Click to expand...

I am not red pill myself. As example I have a friend and he is just built like that, gets all the girls and they cry when he leaves them. When I was 24 I was really into red pill. I attracted a pretty amount of women. I got a gf because some of her friends wanted me. Back then I was succesfull in college, business etc. Now I am 28, we broke up 2 years ago. I quit my business, work a 9/5. My fysique is average (lot of injuries). Back then my thought was I am the prize, now I feel like any girl is a prize for me. A friend of my when he feels like they dont put energy in a text he cuts them off. I am afraid to cut women off because I don’t have many options. Whenever I cut a women off they just don’t come back.

I am also in a place now where I feel like I am not really proud where I am at for my age. 4 years ago I would never think I would be here. 9/5 job, still renting an appartment, no gf, my brother died 2 years back, etc.
Also I got bald when I was 26, so this year I shaved it all off. I noticed especially the girls between 23-25 no longer are interested in me. I don’t attract quality women, the women I attract all have serious issues.

The only thing I am actually good in is nofap. Thanks fr your advice!
 
What makes me very insecure is I don’t have a car. Almost all men from my age have a 10/20k car. I only have a scooter. Back when I was 24 that was ok but now I am 28, women find it weird. But I’m just using my money to invest and dont need to buy a car (I could if i wanted)
 
extreming96 said:
I am afraid to cut women off because I don’t have many options.
Click to expand...
I don't necessarily think it's tinder that's the problem (though I've never known someone to use it to find a serious relationship, just fwb or less). I will say though that feeling like you don't have too many options, being afraid to argue (about what?) or trying to be too nice could come off as being desperate and insincere. Even though you feel like you aren't playing the game anymore, you kind of still are, because you're still putting on an act instead of being yourself. When I was dating, chatting on okcupid, I was way more interested in the people who were willing to disagree with me about something and talk about it. If someone agreed with everything I said or seemed to treat me in a way that felt generic, I would assume they sent the same basic "nice" message to 50 other women on the site and I would lose interest no matter how attractive I thought they were. You might feel like any girl would be a prize right now because you're feeling down, but someday you'll feel better about yourself and you don't want to wake up and find yourself in a serious relationship with someone you settled for because you thought they were all you could get. Aim for what you want and put your heart into it like you are a prize too! Trust me, being good at nofap is prize material.
extreming96 said:
What makes me very insecure is I don’t have a car.
Click to expand...
My city is not very scooter/public transportation friendly. Maybe yours is. But either way, can you find a way to compromise for girls who don't like the scooter? Offer to pay for cabs/uber/lyft on dates, or something. I met a guy once who I was infatuated with, but he lived pretty far from me and he didn't have a car. I still dated him for 6 months, but he never tried to find his own way to my side of town, getting rides or an uber or anything. It was exhausting having to always spend my time and gas, even though he was a great guy. My city isn't scooter friendly and our traffic is dangerous so I wouldn't even want to ride on his scooter if he had one and offered. It would have meant the world to me if he had just gotten an uber once in a while. A girl who likes you for you will see past the scooter, but she will still deserve a little effort!
 
makingsense said:
I don't necessarily think it's tinder that's the problem (though I've never known someone to use it to find a serious relationship, just fwb or less). I will say though that feeling like you don't have too many options, being afraid to argue (about what?) or trying to be too nice could come off as being desperate and insincere. Even though you feel like you aren't playing the game anymore, you kind of still are, because you're still putting on an act instead of being yourself. When I was dating, chatting on okcupid, I was way more interested in the people who were willing to disagree with me about something and talk about it. If someone agreed with everything I said or seemed to treat me in a way that felt generic, I would assume they sent the same basic "nice" message to 50 other women on the site and I would lose interest no matter how attractive I thought they were. You might feel like any girl would be a prize right now because you're feeling down, but someday you'll feel better about yourself and you don't want to wake up and find yourself in a serious relationship with someone you settled for because you thought they were all you could get. Aim for what you want and put your heart into it like you are a prize too! Trust me, being good at nofap is prize material.

My city is not very scooter/public transportation friendly. Maybe yours is. But either way, can you find a way to compromise for girls who don't like the scooter? Offer to pay for cabs/uber/lyft on dates, or something. I met a guy once who I was infatuated with, but he lived pretty far from me and he didn't have a car. I still dated him for 6 months, but he never tried to find his own way to my side of town, getting rides or an uber or anything. It was exhausting having to always spend my time and gas, even though he was a great guy. My city isn't scooter friendly and our traffic is dangerous so I wouldn't even want to ride on his scooter if he had one and offered. It would have meant the world to me if he had just gotten an uber once in a while. A girl who likes you for you will see past the scooter, but she will still deserve a little effort!
Click to expand...

completely agree with this.

I have said the same thing, the issue is “I am the prize” and “any woman is now a prize”. There is no prize. Both are the prize for each other, you both compliment each other for the other half you are missing.

I also have reiterated to be yourself, this way you can find a woman that will share the same morals and values you have, yes there is compromising in any relationship from both sides, however no one should have to sacrifice their core morals and values for another half. It simply just means you both are not compatible.

I have always done things the traditional way (in person) and I have never used dating apps, however I agree that tinder is used for sexual urges and nothing more. There are some trying to find a relationship, however most are there to just have sex and move on.
 
What would you guys suggest how to date girls? I don’t want to use dating apps. Should I consider speed dating or do you guys have any other tips to get in contact with girls? I don’t go out to often, that might be a problem
 
After reading your text and responses
Well, look at it as advice, not criticism
I read your text and I realize that you feel very insecure, uncomfortable and have low self-esteem with your current state.
Of course, some things have changed since 4 years ago.
But you need to see what you can improve so that in the near future you'll have more confidence and self-esteem.
Until this improves, you'll probably continue to feel insecure and uncomfortable in social relationships.
If dating app isn't working for you, try socializing in real life.

These are guidelines and suggestions, but do as you please, of course
 
I enjoyed your analysis and story.
Your analysis is reminiscent of
Keepitsimple1989



makingsense said:
I don't necessarily think it's tinder that's the problem (though I've never known someone to use it to find a serious relationship, just fwb or less). I will say though that feeling like you don't have too many options, being afraid to argue (about what?) or trying to be too nice could come off as being desperate and insincere. Even though you feel like you aren't playing the game anymore, you kind of still are, because you're still putting on an act instead of being yourself. When I was dating, chatting on okcupid, I was way more interested in the people who were willing to disagree with me about something and talk about it. If someone agreed with everything I said or seemed to treat me in a way that felt generic, I would assume they sent the same basic "nice" message to 50 other women on the site and I would lose interest no matter how attractive I thought they were. You might feel like any girl would be a prize right now because you're feeling down, but someday you'll feel better about yourself and you don't want to wake up and find yourself in a serious relationship with someone you settled for because you thought they were all you could get. Aim for what you want and put your heart into it like you are a prize too! Trust me, being good at nofap is prize material.

My city is not very scooter/public transportation friendly. Maybe yours is. But either way, can you find a way to compromise for girls who don't like the scooter? Offer to pay for cabs/uber/lyft on dates, or something. I met a guy once who I was infatuated with, but he lived pretty far from me and he didn't have a car. I still dated him for 6 months, but he never tried to find his own way to my side of town, getting rides or an uber or anything. It was exhausting having to always spend my time and gas, even though he was a great guy. My city isn't scooter friendly and our traffic is dangerous so I wouldn't even want to ride on his scooter if he had one and offered. It would have meant the world to me if he had just gotten an uber once in a while. A girl who likes you for you will see past the scooter, but she will still deserve a little effort!
Click to expand...
 
blue-sky-900 said:
After reading your text and responses
Well, look at it as advice, not criticism
I read your text and I realize that you feel very insecure, uncomfortable and have low self-esteem with your current state.
Of course, some things have changed since 4 years ago.
But you need to see what you can improve so that in the near future you'll have more confidence and self-esteem.
Until this improves, you'll probably continue to feel insecure and uncomfortable in social relationships.
If dating app isn't working for you, try socializing in real life.

These are guidelines and suggestions, but do as you please, of course
Click to expand...

what are ways to improve my confidence? Because for example I already go to the gym often. Is it also talking a lot with women so I feel comfortable when talking to women? So I have more confidence when I talk
 
extreming96 said:
Hello all,

When I was younger I always dated while learning more and more about red pill. I almost always succeeded. Now I am older, I see it as games and I don’t wanna play games no more.

Whenever I date now, girls just treat me bad. I respond quickly, am nice and 9/10 times don’t really wanna argue. It’s not that I can’t I just dont have the energy for it anymore.

so the reason I am writing this and the advice im looking for:
Should I just quit dating for the upcoming months or just stick to red pill again? But it feels like I am trying to be someone I am not. And whenever I am in a bad mood or slept bad I can’t ‘fake’ it no more. So thank you for any tips. These last 12 months were so bad, girls would cancel dates last minutes, taking 6-7 days to respond, not having time for at least 1 month. Are there people here that think dating apps are the problem? All the girls above are from tinder and for some reason always have emotional baggage.
Click to expand...
keep dating because the older you are, the harder it will be, and the fewer choices you will have. if you want to respond toa female in 1 day then do that. if she doesnt like it, then it wasnt meant to be, and let her go if she wants to. theres nothing wrong with girls canceling. would you rather waste your time dating a female who wasnt fully into you? this is why you got to filter them out early on so it doesnt come to that, which is why its important to read a person before you even ask them out. and also you should go into it not expecting anything out of them. be prepared to expect that just because a female agrees to a date doesnt mean she will follow through
 
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