Progress Thread (Feel Free To Join)

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, May 12, 2020.

  1. Hey man, relapsed the last 2 days after a 16 day streak. First time was with P, then I did it another 2 times w/o yesterday. I felt really confident after getting over the PMO, but when I did it last night THAT's when it really hit me.

    I rationalized about NF, how I have doubts about it and that it's taking up too much of my life, and how I have to start living my life. I literally wrote the same type of stuff a month ago after relapsing.

    Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me right? Hoping to be aware about this mentality for the future.

    I've been really looking at this problem since August 1st, and the good thing, despite all of my stumbles, is that I'm still working at it.

    I think there's a lot more at play than just porn for me, specifically dopamine stuff like that. Deleted my Tinder and Hinge today after creating them again 2 days ago. Found myself constantly thinking about them and always checking them. I tried to convince myself 2 days ago that I needed to start doing that stuff because if I want to actually start dating again...I actually have to start dating. I think this is me wanting the easy way out of instant gratification and trying to reject the delayed gratification struggle that is NoFap.

    Sometimes I see stuff about HAVING to push through urges, and sometimes I see how that's the worst thing you can do. I hope people stay active on this thread and we help each other, because that's 1 thing I haven't really tried yet, working with other people I guess. I mainly write about it a lot in my journal (online and physical) and work on it with my therapist.

    I think stressing about 90 days can be a little dangerous too, because the anxiety of that number makes it feel impossible and implants a lot of negative emotions into your head that lead you back to relapse.

    Sorry if that was kind of a dump, but let's keep pushing through. Flaws and all.
     
  2. thinking_differently

    thinking_differently Fapstronaut

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  3. Approaching the end of this year looking back, definitely proud of the progress I have made with NoFap, and hoping that I will do even better next year and hopefully not fall at all. Thx for all the support here especially when i needed it most! This thread helped me tons and made this year my best so far!
     
    thelastcossack likes this.
  4. Going to tackle this a bit differently. Right now I'm working on eliminating my triggers (adult webcam sites and Instagram)
     
    Sweet Kevin likes this.
  5. You got this man! Do what u gotta do!
     
    Breakthrough23 likes this.
  6. New year, gonna post daily here and keep track again. So far feeling good, and really have regained control of myself last year more than ever before. Worked out today for first time in a while and going to get on my grind and always be finding something to do every day to keep myself busy!
     
  7. Experiment1996

    Experiment1996 Fapstronaut

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    Sweet Kevin likes this.
  8. Currently doing great on track and staying busy!
     
    Breakthrough23 likes this.
  9. Despite not being able to give you answers on the flatline since I haven't hit that yet in any prior streaks, I will say that I learned alot from your thread and realized just how important it is for me to keep this up indefinitely and to build strong connections here to help me when I'm feeling like quitting! Definitely going to start hopping onto other threads so that I can fully take advantage of the great opportunities this site gives to help prevent pmo.
     
    Breakthrough23 likes this.
  10. Excellent work, keep it up Kevin. I am back on track to take the no trigger thing seriously. Just working on this right now.
     
  11. It's now over a week since I last visited my triggers. It was fine so far but now I'm starting to crave for it. I said I'm quitting and I believe I can achieve this goal of quitting triggers at the very least so I will push on through
     
  12. I have successfully done over 3 weeks of no triggers. I will keep this up and work on quitting the triggers. Still allowing M but after Ming my body always feels worn down and my mind becomes foggy. When I am off M even for a day or two I feel lighter, more energetic, happier, and my mind is clearer. I don't like the way I feel after Ming so I will push myself to work on building NoFap streaks starting today.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2021
    Sweet Kevin likes this.
  13. I've completely stopped nofap as of late. My views on it have changed as I've come to realize that all the benefits seem to be either the result of placebo or delusion. I strongly feel like the movement is preying on insecure/religious men when they are most vulnerable and the online manosphere content creators that usually promote this stuff always offer dense information that anyone with a basic sense of empathy realizes would never work in real life and would make you look extremely foolish. The term alpha male seems to be a social construct that exists solely for men that are insecure in themselves and live an unhappy life bc they are convinced that they are victims of society and feminism. I'm willing to hear any opposing thoughts on this as I am intrigued as to whether or not there is any solid reasoning behind the many practices condoned in this forum. I do believe in growing as a person and improving one day at a time for long term change in areas that are visibly important, but cold turkey semen retention seems like a waste of time as far as I'm concerned. I don't understand why phone screen orgasm would be any different than actual real life sex in a marriage orgasm for example. Why does everyone claim that your benefits remain intact during live sex? Just seems like BS to me. If anyone is willing to explain to me how I'm wrong, I'd appreciate it. Unload on me cuz I'm suddenly very turned off by everything here.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 6, 2021
    FellatiousD likes this.
  14. In your case, the benefits may have come from placebo or delusion, which is fine. But for a number of people, there are measurable mental health and even physiological benefits to quitting compulsive (P)MO.
    Do some proponents of NoFap prey on vulnerable people? Sure. Does NoFap as a whole prey on vulnerable people? No.
    Yes, toxic manosphere types use NoFap as a banner to get people to listen to them, and not for any particularly productive reason. It's kind of a narcissistic circle jerk. Also, there is an abundance of pseudo-science and unsupported claims spread on this site.

    I will personally never support "semen retention" because I believe it is 100% unjustified nonsense. But abstinence from PMO due to impulsivity is perfectly healthy and productive for a lot of people.
    I'm not going to defend any position claiming that having orgasms under one context is better than having them under another. Both masturbation and sex can be compulsive and problematic behaviors. Just as there are people who have an unhealthy relationship with interpersonal sex, there are people who have an unhealthy relationship with masturbation.

    "Benefits" are hard to measure, and there are many different types. I mentioned mental health and physiological benefits, but there are also moral, spiritual, social and other categories which are improved by quitting porn. Some people here are only concerned with physiological benefits, such as regaining penile sensitivity, etc. Others want to align themselves better with their religious beliefs. All of these are valid.

    What matters is that NoFap is personal (I believe the "About" page mentions this), and so if you don't see any personal benefits in your life, then you are entitled to not participate. As far as debunking pseudo-science is concerned, you have my full support. If you want to dissuade people from believing that NoFap affects our "aura" or "life force" or other bullshit, then that's fine. But to say that abstinence from PMO has no benefits whatsoever, then you are going a bit too far.
     
    Sweet Kevin likes this.
  15. Thanks for taking the time to write this! I really appreciate it, and felt that you answered my points really well. Def helped me to understand everything more, so thanks!
     
    FellatiousD likes this.
  16. I am doing semen retention to undo an addiction that stretches back to my early childhood. For context I am in my early 40s now.

    Masturbation, sex, and alcohol addiction took me down a dark path in life and the end result was I had wasted my entire youth. I decided I had two options: I could fix myself and have the opportunity to make a beautiful life for myself or I could eat a bullet. Thankfully I chose the former option.

    Now I live life with a purpose and my actions are aligned with my goals and principles. I've never been happier than I am right now.

    I don't understand why phone screen orgasm would be any different than actual real life sex in a marriage orgasm for example.

    I can't speak for you but phone screen orgasm does not align with my purpose, goals, and principles.
     
    Breakthrough23 and Sweet Kevin like this.
  17. Hi Kevin. Just wanted to see how you are doing. Like you I also had a period where I stopped doing the NoFap thing completely and went back to my old ways. However I do believe the act of gaining self-discipline through NoFap can have its benefits even if you are not quitting entirely. Along with other things like trying to improve yourself in other ways, I don't think that's a bad thing. Also with regards to sex with yourself vs sex with a partner there is a great difference. There is more to orgasm than just the orgasm, there's the other senses you experience like touch, smell, taste etc with a partner that you cannot experience on your own. There's a whole science to the good chemicals that are released and introduced in your body when you have sex with someone especially when you both like each other. I would not give up altogether here. The site may not give you what you need but the act of self-discipline, doing things in moderation, etc. are all things you can practice when you are not on the site. You and I may never stop completely but I think just cutting it down some would do wonders.
     
    Sweet Kevin likes this.
  18. Hey man, I'm back on nofap. The last couple posts here have been brooding on my mind, and I now have realized that it really does help in a lot of areas regarding discipline. Also I'm going to stay away from that manosphere bullshit this time around, and treat this like an exercise of building up good habits all-around. Recently I realized that I also have other bad habits that I've gotta break, so just started tracking them on an app. Also just got rid of all my video games because those were holding my mind hostage. Had to be honest with myself in order to acknowledge that I was addicted and needed to change. Same thing for p*rn now, it's gotta go. I've realized that guys can't abstain from it without either becoming Amish or having some sort of accountability, so I will post here regularly and stay accountable. Thanks guys for taking time to help steer me back on track, probably changed a life.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2021
    Breakthrough23 likes this.
  19. I've kept coming back to this post alot because of how well you explained things and answered all of my questions. Thanks again for writing this, as it really did help a ton.
     
  20. So far doing fine. When you take extreme action to get rid of old habits, gotta quickly replace them with better ones. Working to get new hobbies that complement my schedule instead of taking it over.
     

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