Progression doesn't just suddenly fall apart because you relapse.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Ruthless Hamster, Jul 29, 2020.

  1. Ruthless Hamster

    Ruthless Hamster Fapstronaut

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    You know, this really irritates the hell out of me. Not the title but the people who keep saying that they have lost everything, lost all progress.

    This is somewhat of a rant and also a post to tell you that no, you haven't lost progress, your mind was just wired that way by extremist fuckwits who like to prey on your vulnerability through guilt-tripping and fear mongering.

    NoFap is a great tool for those that want to abstain from PMO, give themselves a challenge to see how long they can go without doing it, or hell, just getting rid of an addiction. All power to you. But then there are those people who literally type out asinine bullshit like this and guilt-trip and fear monger people into believing that everything that they've built up while abstaining from PMO all of a suddenly vanishes and falls down.

    Phrases like this;
    • Don't give up your progress just for 3 seconds of pleasure
    • PMO is for boys, NoFap is for real men (I actually want to vomit after typing this)
    • If you watch porn then you're a loser.
    • If you masturbate then everything you've achieved is going to crash because you wasted your semen.
    If you're the type of person to say shit like this, I suggest you stop. You do more harm than good and you don't even realize it. You never know how gullible people can really be.

    How does progress crash after ejaculating? As an example, let's say you've procured very good habits. Eating right, going to the gym, walking, doing cardio, hanging out with friends etc. Are you suddenly going to stop eating right, stop going to the gym, stop doing cardio and stop hanging out with your friends simply because you've ejaculated? Yeah no, that's absolute bullshit and you should never believe phrases along the lines which were stated.

    There are people who masturbate, watch porn and lead much better lives than the idiots who spew guilt-tripping and fear mongering phrases like the ones that I stated. How does a "loser" have a better life than the person who is directly criticizing them for watching it who also (I'm sorry but this is the cold hard truth) struggles from keeping his hand away from his cock?

    You do not lose progress. Just because you relapse(d) it does not mean everything crashes down, it doesn't mean your entire world is over. You simply had a hiccup. Instead of shitting on yourself and giving yourself a hard time, associate relapsing with progression. You've went for x amount of days? Now you know you have the capability to do the same thing and go even further. What does that give you and show you? That you're building confidence and have the confidence to go even longer.
     
  2. Asdor22

    Asdor22 Fapstronaut

  3. James Craig

    James Craig Fapstronaut

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    Exactly! This is a great post bro. I believe that through NoFap we build a new life for us, that is, a new "lifestyle". A simple ejaculation (as long as you don't go back to your old habits) you do not lose progress. I always think about the long therm and becoming a better man!
     
    InnerEngineerling and Asdor22 like this.
  4. InnerEngineerling

    InnerEngineerling Fapstronaut

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    I believe it's important to be compassionate and loving towards or self when it coms to relapsing. relapses are part of the game and in life not everything is going as planned. As long as you try your best, it's fine ti relapse. Just be friendly and loving to yourself, don't judge yourself , and just just continue your path :)
     
    James Craig likes this.
  5. Thank you OP, this thread should be pinned. NoFap is unfortunately full of bigots.
     
  6. CaptainFranklin

    CaptainFranklin Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for writing. It is a great point. Feeling terrible about myself for having used porn does not help.
     
  7. Ruthless Hamster

    Ruthless Hamster Fapstronaut

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    This is going to sound weird as it is a porn-addiction recovery website but you really shouldn't feel bad for using porn.
    Just acknowledge the fact that you've used it, then acknowledge the fact that "Hey, man, this really is becoming a problem for me, I need to dial this back or cut it out completely" and recognize that the problem is coming from yourself and whenever you have a relapse, try to relate that relapse with progression. Relapsed on day 30? You now have the confidence to do 30 easily and go much longer.
    I'm eager to see posts from bigots so I can dismantle their arguments. Their arguments literally hold no weight at all, it's just people are afraid of saying something different and others replying to them and giving them shit for their statement.
    Dude, ejaculation in general doesn't set you back. People brainwash you into thinking it does.

    I know the main purpose here is to abstain and get rid of an addiction, i understand that, but people don't really understand that they can actually establish a healthy relationship with masturbation, sex and yes, I'm going to say this, even porn. The problem is that people go from one extreme to the other and it needs to be that way for actual addicts. NoFap isn't some "miracle" lifestyle that's going to give you the answer or anything, it isn't a type of lifestyle either.
    It's a tool. People feel like shit because their life is shit. They don't have money and they don't have a girlfriend. All that money goes to junk food or towards the "addiction" and obviously necessities and supplies in real life. Have you realized that a lot of people on NoFap have these common traits?

    NoFap isn't going to make you instantly attractive or it isn't going to turn your life around. It's just a tool that basically encourages and says "You can turn your life around" You just need to find people to encourage you who only really focus on the root of the addictions, not people who keep saying shit like "3 SECONDS OF PLEASURE WILL RUIN YOU, IF YOU EJACULATE YOU'RE NOT A MAN!" These people will continuously fail and fail and fail. You want to know why? Because they keep thinking about porn instead of thinking about what they can make right. You can't beat an addiction if you keep emphasizing on the "topic" rather than what actually makes you feel like shit because porn isn't the thing that makes you feel like shit, it's the thing you medicate yourself with, the one making yourself feel like shit is yourself.
     
    James Craig likes this.
  8. Read all of @StarRider 's posts. He frequently dismisses peoples arguments by saying "you're corrupted by porn." Or that masturbation has a 100% chance of causing addiction, things like that. He'll just ignore you though.
     
  9. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    Could you provide me with a nifty back-linked quote please?

    BTW: Your ad hominem attacks make you look weak.
     
  10. It's not an ad hominem
     
  11. Also, it was actually @Wave Surfer 2.0 who dismissed people's arguments because they are "porn addicts."
     
  12. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    Good, now that we have this clarified, you edit your post and correct it!

    I didn't quote the other claim, because I stand by it and see no reason to backpedal.
     
  13. Ruthless Hamster

    Ruthless Hamster Fapstronaut

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    That's a sign of a person who doesn't know how to argue and handle the heat of an argument/debate.
    You can't expect to have an argument and then deny another persons argument just because they're "porn addicts". That's like saying my left nut is bigger than your left nut without even measuring and comparing and just saying end of story.
     
    FellatiousD likes this.
  14. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    Depends how bad a case you are. If you have PIED/dead libido or some other symptoms then yes I do think that a relapse is like hitting the reset button, at least until you've fixed those problems anyway. If porn is just a bad habit that you're trying to get rid of then the odd relapse isn't going to undo all of the progress you've made.
     
  15. oryxcrstl

    oryxcrstl Fapstronaut

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    Good Luck.......
     
  16. UnitedWeStand

    UnitedWeStand Fapstronaut

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    Nice thread OP. But we can still say that a relapse can do significant damage, not crucial to get started again but it can get you a step back, but as you said nofap is a journey where you will fall 7 times and stand up 8.. Good luck to you, best wishes!
     
    Candun likes this.
  17. thinking_differently

    thinking_differently Fapstronaut

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    I agree! Progress made in one streak helps in handling the next one, eventually
    Leading to the last one.
    People don’t realise that the Streak Counter is just a title.
    And this is the phase where we’re learning to get away from it.
    However, @Ruthless Hamster One must not completely dismiss all of the phrases, one must have a sense of the Mistake! A realisation is important. Most of the phrases you stated are Crap, but Some May actually work for a certain set of people you know?

    So I don’t believe in the complete Disbelief and Absolute Dismissal of the Phrases. However, I agree, that such an attitude only makes for a dull life.
     
  18. Ruthless Hamster

    Ruthless Hamster Fapstronaut

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    I understand, but these types of phrases are toxic because what if one person keeps relapsing over and over and keeps reading those same words until it's tattooed into their mind and then convince themselves that they literally amount to nothing?

    Words of encouragement and positivity can actually inspire confidence which is what these people really genuinely need. I mean, even a simple positive phrase like this is enough to actually show that someone out there cares about that person's progress and doesn't actually shun them for replasing. It bring's assurance and it grows confidence, not matter how small;
    • You've come such a long way don't give up now, you're strong and you should be thrilled that you managed to get this far!
    Compared to this;

    • Don't ruin it for 3 seconds of pleasure, everything will crash, you will hate yourself, you will feel shit, you will feel horrible!
    Would you rather hear the first or the second type of message over and over until it gets through to you?
     
  19. Candun

    Candun Fapstronaut

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    fucking BETA
     
  20. Ruthless Hamster

    Ruthless Hamster Fapstronaut

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    !ATEB gnikcuf
     

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