Fellow Fapstronauts,
Long have I dreamt of sharing a success story here, consumed by years of doubt, temptation and relapse. But after years of trial and error, I have finally found a solution; and through my battle, have developed a realistic, achievable program that can help my fellow Fapstronauts. Broken into three phases – “Project Mercury”, “Project Gemini”, and “Project Apollo”.
BACKGROUND:
I am a married elder millennial (39) who has endured the full psychological programming of internet P and MO my entire life. This eventually resulted in afflicting me with self-imposed infertility, which deeply tortured me in secret (more below). If my solution worked for someone as lost as me, I believe it can work for anyone.
I had fallen so hard into PMO during my single years that I could never reach orgasm from natural PIV stimulation with my wife (and she is legitimately attractive, a 6/7). I could maintain erections to varying degrees, but simply could never get the stimulation that I needed to O due to having programmed my mind with PMO. We didn’t want kids for a long time and for years I would “cover” for my dysfunction by pulling out and going to the shower to “finish”. Put simply, the fact that I couldn’t perform the most basic and fundamental act of procreation was brutally emasculating, and fucked with my mind in ways few things ever have.
I began to struggle with PIED. It gave me hateful impulses. It made me burn with envy and rage at my less athletic, less-masculine peers who were fathering children with less attractive and sometimes straight up ugly wives. This only served to amplify my emasculation and sadness, further sinking me into that dark feedback loop of self-doubt which we all know too well here. I used to envy men with premature ejaculation issues. I wanted to have that problem. It made me fetishize P with “natural” finishes, envying the male actors who could O from PIV without the camera cutting to jerking themselves off (as I no doubt would have needed). I began to view this as a weakness, yet found weird solace in believing many male P actors suffered my same issue and were to desensitized to O from PIV. I have never told anyone about my battle, quietly suffering and hiding for 10+ years behind a facade of strength.
I was dreading the day when we would start trying for a child. I couldn’t bear the humiliation of having my dysfunction exposed. I had to fix myself, and fast. I began my fight in 2016 at age 32. And it was when my wife and I were 37 that we decided to try for a child. My doubt and dismay only heightened after learning that for “older” couples like us, it could takes months, even years of real “complete” sex to conceive. Plus higher chance of miscarriages. This most basic masculine task of fathering a child from natural sex felt like an impossibility, a faraway dream akin to putting a man on the moon. But after years of battle I achieved that dream, and we are now expecting our first child next May. This is how I did it:
PRE-SPACEFLIGHT PHASE: 2016-2018
I knew I had to physically re-program my mind away from the “deathgrip”. I started PMO’ing to “natural” stimulation, using a light grip and using ONLY hip thrusts, never stroking with the hand. I was able to achieve 2-3 natural O’s through sex (a big win for me), but continued to struggle with PIED and minimal arousal through PIV. But small gains were made and I saw some light break through the clouds. However I had yet to re-program the more critical “mental” side of me...
PROJECT MERCURY: “90 DAY HARD MODE REBOOT” (2019)
Start by breaking the enemy lines with a brute force salvo! Yes, the 90 day challenge. Zero MO for 90 days to cleanse your neurons and give you a “base” from which to start. There’s no way around it. I used to PMO daily and thought such a challenge insurmountable, but it CAN be done brothers, I promise you. The first 2 weeks will be the hardest with the highest probability of relapse. But once you hit the “flatline” phase around week 3, your mind will enter a protective dormant state that will shield you from further temptation. The remaining weeks will pass more easily, and eventually your mind will learn to derive pleasure from resisting temptation. Every impulse resisted is another layer of armor forged!
Completion Objective: Be able to O from PIV. I told myself on day 1 the next O I have will be from PIV with my wife. And it worked! We had natural spontaneous sex shortly after day 90 and I had I got naturally hard and had a natural O and it was fantastic. It CAN be done!
PROJECT GEMINI: “REINTRODUCTION OF PMO” (2019-2022)
I held no illusions that I would never indulge in PMO again. The “Gemini” mission was to maintain the progress of Project Mercury while also allowing for occasional PMO to scratch the itch. I knew a balance had to be struck. I eventually settled on a system of “1 week on, 1 week off”. I would go a whole week with no PMO, and then the next week would allow 2-3 PMOs max (using light grip and hip thrusts as physical stimulation). This proved successful. I maintained the gains made from “Mercury” and continued to show progress in being able to O from PIV sex with my wife. I continued with “Gemini” for about two years in preparation for the upcoming Apollo moonshot…
Completion Objective: Continue to be able to O from PIV while also enjoying occasional PMO.
PROJECT APOLLO: “NATURALLY CONCEIVING A CHILD” (2022-2024)
Just like the real Apollo 1 tragedy, this did not start well. Having grown up with PMO for so long it had made me so sexually dysfunctional and lost that I began to view conceiving a child as exotic and unattainable as landing a man on the moon – particularly since my wife and I were “higher risk” (37) when we began trying. Initial results were bad. I was so consumed by anxiety of “performing” during exact days on her fertility cycle that it really fucked with my head and resulted in ED issues. This in turn made me depressed and caused me to relapse in ways I had never done before. For many months I practiced a failed strategy of “saving” up for 1-2 weeks thinking that would help fertility when in fact it actually does the opposite. I got into some of my darkest, most prolonged edging sessions to allay my temptations, which only served to damage me more than anything in the last 4 years.
Data from my previous missions suggested that it’s sometimes harder to maintain an erection approaching the “flatline” phase around 2 weeks, so I allowed myself 2x MO per week (no external P stimulation) to kickstart my libido and keep me out of flatline. I further restricted physical simulation to pillow pressure only. NO HAND PRESSURE. Yes, it sounds dumb, but I would only allow myself to hump a pillow to MO. I knew this would allow the best simulation of PIV sex with my wife. Eventually this strategy showed promise. I was able to “finish” relatively consistently when required, though I still struggled with performance anxiety ED, and often had to jerk myself close to O, but my wife was cool about that and this eventually became accepted routine.
However, my psychological ED issues still tormented me enough that I eventually chose to try Cialis using the “Hims” website. I was skeptical, but fellas let me tell you, this shit works. I only allowed myself HALF a pill to start to ensure I would not get overly dependent on the drug, but even a half-pill is powerful. It still requires external stimulation to get hard, but it will definitely help maintain the erection. It may have been a placebo, but the Cialis pills helped with my performance anxiety ED and gave me confidence.
Lastly, and this is the most deeply ironic mental hack I discovered yet, was the reintroduction of PM (NOT O). I began to “pregame” before sex with my wife by watching P and edging. YES, not kidding. This worked wonders! Eventually I unlocked my mind and began using the fantasy of P to enhance PIV with my wife. I began to fantasize my wife and I were being filmed fucking in P video and amazingly this leveraged my problematic lustful psychology into enhancing real PIV sex. I envisioned my wife as a random college chick who I was fucking in an orgy just like the P that would so stimulate me. Yes, I know it sounds crude, but this worked WONDERS. This was a kind of “horseshoe theory” in which I was able to leverage my problematic old PMO addiction to help my real world PIV recovery. The mind is everything, and this was the final piece to the puzzle. My confidence was restored, and my feedback loop was now positively reinforced. I was able to consistently O within 60 seconds or less, multiple days in a row during her fertility cycle - a feat I once thought totally impossible.
After about a year of these strategies “Apollo” had achieved its daring goal. We landed on the moon. And we are expecting a child next spring.
CONCLUSION:
Fellas, I realize this writeup may sound tacky to some, but it’s honest and real, and provides a practical solution that I hope can serve my fellow warriors in battle. I realize everyone’s battle is a little different, but hope my account can at least provide some degree of inspiration to those who’ve come of age in this new era of overstimulation.
Godspeed my brothers.
Long have I dreamt of sharing a success story here, consumed by years of doubt, temptation and relapse. But after years of trial and error, I have finally found a solution; and through my battle, have developed a realistic, achievable program that can help my fellow Fapstronauts. Broken into three phases – “Project Mercury”, “Project Gemini”, and “Project Apollo”.
BACKGROUND:
I am a married elder millennial (39) who has endured the full psychological programming of internet P and MO my entire life. This eventually resulted in afflicting me with self-imposed infertility, which deeply tortured me in secret (more below). If my solution worked for someone as lost as me, I believe it can work for anyone.
I had fallen so hard into PMO during my single years that I could never reach orgasm from natural PIV stimulation with my wife (and she is legitimately attractive, a 6/7). I could maintain erections to varying degrees, but simply could never get the stimulation that I needed to O due to having programmed my mind with PMO. We didn’t want kids for a long time and for years I would “cover” for my dysfunction by pulling out and going to the shower to “finish”. Put simply, the fact that I couldn’t perform the most basic and fundamental act of procreation was brutally emasculating, and fucked with my mind in ways few things ever have.
I began to struggle with PIED. It gave me hateful impulses. It made me burn with envy and rage at my less athletic, less-masculine peers who were fathering children with less attractive and sometimes straight up ugly wives. This only served to amplify my emasculation and sadness, further sinking me into that dark feedback loop of self-doubt which we all know too well here. I used to envy men with premature ejaculation issues. I wanted to have that problem. It made me fetishize P with “natural” finishes, envying the male actors who could O from PIV without the camera cutting to jerking themselves off (as I no doubt would have needed). I began to view this as a weakness, yet found weird solace in believing many male P actors suffered my same issue and were to desensitized to O from PIV. I have never told anyone about my battle, quietly suffering and hiding for 10+ years behind a facade of strength.
I was dreading the day when we would start trying for a child. I couldn’t bear the humiliation of having my dysfunction exposed. I had to fix myself, and fast. I began my fight in 2016 at age 32. And it was when my wife and I were 37 that we decided to try for a child. My doubt and dismay only heightened after learning that for “older” couples like us, it could takes months, even years of real “complete” sex to conceive. Plus higher chance of miscarriages. This most basic masculine task of fathering a child from natural sex felt like an impossibility, a faraway dream akin to putting a man on the moon. But after years of battle I achieved that dream, and we are now expecting our first child next May. This is how I did it:
PRE-SPACEFLIGHT PHASE: 2016-2018
I knew I had to physically re-program my mind away from the “deathgrip”. I started PMO’ing to “natural” stimulation, using a light grip and using ONLY hip thrusts, never stroking with the hand. I was able to achieve 2-3 natural O’s through sex (a big win for me), but continued to struggle with PIED and minimal arousal through PIV. But small gains were made and I saw some light break through the clouds. However I had yet to re-program the more critical “mental” side of me...
PROJECT MERCURY: “90 DAY HARD MODE REBOOT” (2019)
Start by breaking the enemy lines with a brute force salvo! Yes, the 90 day challenge. Zero MO for 90 days to cleanse your neurons and give you a “base” from which to start. There’s no way around it. I used to PMO daily and thought such a challenge insurmountable, but it CAN be done brothers, I promise you. The first 2 weeks will be the hardest with the highest probability of relapse. But once you hit the “flatline” phase around week 3, your mind will enter a protective dormant state that will shield you from further temptation. The remaining weeks will pass more easily, and eventually your mind will learn to derive pleasure from resisting temptation. Every impulse resisted is another layer of armor forged!
Completion Objective: Be able to O from PIV. I told myself on day 1 the next O I have will be from PIV with my wife. And it worked! We had natural spontaneous sex shortly after day 90 and I had I got naturally hard and had a natural O and it was fantastic. It CAN be done!
PROJECT GEMINI: “REINTRODUCTION OF PMO” (2019-2022)
I held no illusions that I would never indulge in PMO again. The “Gemini” mission was to maintain the progress of Project Mercury while also allowing for occasional PMO to scratch the itch. I knew a balance had to be struck. I eventually settled on a system of “1 week on, 1 week off”. I would go a whole week with no PMO, and then the next week would allow 2-3 PMOs max (using light grip and hip thrusts as physical stimulation). This proved successful. I maintained the gains made from “Mercury” and continued to show progress in being able to O from PIV sex with my wife. I continued with “Gemini” for about two years in preparation for the upcoming Apollo moonshot…
Completion Objective: Continue to be able to O from PIV while also enjoying occasional PMO.
PROJECT APOLLO: “NATURALLY CONCEIVING A CHILD” (2022-2024)
Just like the real Apollo 1 tragedy, this did not start well. Having grown up with PMO for so long it had made me so sexually dysfunctional and lost that I began to view conceiving a child as exotic and unattainable as landing a man on the moon – particularly since my wife and I were “higher risk” (37) when we began trying. Initial results were bad. I was so consumed by anxiety of “performing” during exact days on her fertility cycle that it really fucked with my head and resulted in ED issues. This in turn made me depressed and caused me to relapse in ways I had never done before. For many months I practiced a failed strategy of “saving” up for 1-2 weeks thinking that would help fertility when in fact it actually does the opposite. I got into some of my darkest, most prolonged edging sessions to allay my temptations, which only served to damage me more than anything in the last 4 years.
Data from my previous missions suggested that it’s sometimes harder to maintain an erection approaching the “flatline” phase around 2 weeks, so I allowed myself 2x MO per week (no external P stimulation) to kickstart my libido and keep me out of flatline. I further restricted physical simulation to pillow pressure only. NO HAND PRESSURE. Yes, it sounds dumb, but I would only allow myself to hump a pillow to MO. I knew this would allow the best simulation of PIV sex with my wife. Eventually this strategy showed promise. I was able to “finish” relatively consistently when required, though I still struggled with performance anxiety ED, and often had to jerk myself close to O, but my wife was cool about that and this eventually became accepted routine.
However, my psychological ED issues still tormented me enough that I eventually chose to try Cialis using the “Hims” website. I was skeptical, but fellas let me tell you, this shit works. I only allowed myself HALF a pill to start to ensure I would not get overly dependent on the drug, but even a half-pill is powerful. It still requires external stimulation to get hard, but it will definitely help maintain the erection. It may have been a placebo, but the Cialis pills helped with my performance anxiety ED and gave me confidence.
Lastly, and this is the most deeply ironic mental hack I discovered yet, was the reintroduction of PM (NOT O). I began to “pregame” before sex with my wife by watching P and edging. YES, not kidding. This worked wonders! Eventually I unlocked my mind and began using the fantasy of P to enhance PIV with my wife. I began to fantasize my wife and I were being filmed fucking in P video and amazingly this leveraged my problematic lustful psychology into enhancing real PIV sex. I envisioned my wife as a random college chick who I was fucking in an orgy just like the P that would so stimulate me. Yes, I know it sounds crude, but this worked WONDERS. This was a kind of “horseshoe theory” in which I was able to leverage my problematic old PMO addiction to help my real world PIV recovery. The mind is everything, and this was the final piece to the puzzle. My confidence was restored, and my feedback loop was now positively reinforced. I was able to consistently O within 60 seconds or less, multiple days in a row during her fertility cycle - a feat I once thought totally impossible.
After about a year of these strategies “Apollo” had achieved its daring goal. We landed on the moon. And we are expecting a child next spring.
CONCLUSION:
Fellas, I realize this writeup may sound tacky to some, but it’s honest and real, and provides a practical solution that I hope can serve my fellow warriors in battle. I realize everyone’s battle is a little different, but hope my account can at least provide some degree of inspiration to those who’ve come of age in this new era of overstimulation.
Godspeed my brothers.