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PROSTITUTES..

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Deleted Account, Jul 7, 2018.

  1. Hi guys, I need your help on this.

    First of all, excuse my english since it is not my native language.

    I am a 25 year old male and I am on NoFap since 2 months and experienced amazing benefits.

    All my life people would say that I am good looking handsome and attractive and I don’t have any problems with approaching and talking girls. I had girlfriends and was in love with them and I can say that I had good sex life with them.

    I do not mean to be egoist about this but I have good relations with everybody in my life friends, family members etc. I love helping people and in general I can say that I am a really good person to community to people etc.

    But, a year ago I got fired from my job in an unfair way(govermental issue) which put me in a depression mode. I was lost. And I went to a prostitute which I avoided all my life going to them and thought it is a very bad thing. I mean how a person like me can do that. After it, chaser effect started to show up and in a year I went to prostitutes like 10 times.

    Yes I had a good time with them during the sex and every one of them said that they had a good time too and it was nice to meet me.(one of them was when I was on NoFap and we had a sex on another day for free because she said she liked me a lot which I do not want to call it a benefit of nofap but it is I guess). Because I was not treating them like shit I know they are treated like that most of the time.

    But I think they do this job because they do not have other choice. So, because of this thought after I go to them I feel a very big regret and I feel very bad. But after a week or some again I find myself going to them. I dont know what is wrong with me. I dont even need to pay for sex because I have the ability to have it in normal ways.

    I think this is an stupid addiction which I regret the whole time. I dont want to do it again.

    Thank you for reading brothers. I had to confess and talk this issue to someone.
     
  2. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    You made some mistakes, chalk it up and move on. Don't keep making them. Good luck.
     
  3. I dont want to see an escort ever again. I mean how can someone think that it is not good to do it and still do it.

    Maybe it is something psychiatric and I should get help about it.
     
  4. 2012Crafty

    2012Crafty Fapstronaut

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    I have seen escorts in the past but I don’t want to do it again too.. idk I think I prefer not having sex at all than seeing an escort.
     
  5. I hope I will say that“I have seen escorts in the past and it was long time ago”
     
  6. ak47_uk

    ak47_uk Fapstronaut

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    You need to repent sincerely and never do it again. God firgives those whi repent but it has to be true repentence meaning you know how big of a mistake you have made and you need forgiveness. Remember no matter how nice the prostitute may be you are still paying her for sex.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. Yeah brother. I feel also bad from the religious side. This is one of the big sin according to the religion I believe.

    I hope God will forgive me. I will repent and pray for it everyday.
     
  8. ak47_uk

    ak47_uk Fapstronaut

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    God is master of all creations, the one and only. He can do anything he will at any time he wills. If he can forgive someone that has killed multiple times then im sure he can forgive this too but like I said its about true repentence. God is mercifull and always remember that.
     
  9. Man I wish god could give me a sign that he forgives me.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  10. ak47_uk

    ak47_uk Fapstronaut

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    Yeh wouldn't we all, however we can only pray and ask.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. JoeyjojoJr

    JoeyjojoJr Fapstronaut

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    Hey friend,

    I have a very similar experience with paying for sex as you. Didn’t need to, but wanted to, and then felt horrible/ashamed/guilty/scared. I disagree strongly, from my point of view, with both types of advice given you so far: 1) don’t worry, move on, you made a mistake. [yea, we all feel we’ve made mistakes, that’s why we’re here. Clearly “moving on” isn’t so easy.] and 2) God. Maaaaan, don’t use an angry god as a cop out.

    If you’d like to discuss more, send me a message. I’m very new to nofap, and am trying to make some connections for support. My issue now, by the way, isn’t prostitution, but since I have quite a bit of experience I could help give you some perspective.
     
  12. barrypower

    barrypower Fapstronaut

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    God will not forgive you (future)
    Because He already has forgiven you (past and ongoing into the future).

    Do you know why it's a sin? Because He just wants us to live in freedom.

    It pains God's heart to see us go back to prostitution, PMO, etc. God just wants us to have the best in life, including healthy sexual relationships.

    Don't let the guilt overburden you.
     
  13. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    You got a free session from a hooker? Wow, you must be Chad.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  14. Hi TES,

    Thanks for this honest post.

    I think it really hits to the core why most of us are here. We engage in a behaviour that we don't want, but find ourselves compelled to. It goes almost beyond our mind and any reasoning for it, isn't it? You say to yourself you'll never do that again, it brings you pain, it makes you feel bad, it potentially hurts other people. But then why do we end up there?

    Sex is powerful, it's a powerful creative energy. With nofap you try to channel it differently so that it doesn't go for pmo (or negative sexual behanviour).

    I think that sexual energies is to be found in more venues of our life though, than just scoring success with not having pmo-ed by the end of a day. You know how we can be thinking about lust in the midst of a working day? Or at any time really.

    For me, I can see that if I want to do better, I need to be disciplined throughout my day and to be careful, to see what I am doing and very importantly why. Sometimes I've caught myself that I'd want to do something innocent, but deep down my motivation is different and is actually pushing me in another direction. I think it's very important to catch those motivations.

    Otherwise, if I don't catch that I end up in the same mistakes and situations. And every time it seems more difficult as I haven't learnt the lesson.

    Of what you said about your work situation, it seems to me like you used the prostitutes because it was difficult to cope with that depression. I think this can be a big trigger. Sometimes situations are painful and we just want to numb that feeling down by going for pleasure. But pleasure is meant to bounce back to pain. And if you keep on with running for pleasure it will just take you lower.

    It seems like you have a lot of valuable relations and opportunities in your life and I think that can really help you to come out. But see very clearly, in a disciplined way where is the difficult part. I think reasons can be pain, depression, stress, laziness, boredom etc.

    In that sense don't get depressed over what you see as mistakes, but let that remorse help you straighten your ways and not go back to them.
    Remorse can be healing and can help you look for a change, but try to lift yourself up.

    I think having a religion to reach to can be helpful. Also, you can look for the mystical part of it (if it has one) where you experience that connection with God through meditation/prayer/other practice (rather than relying on the institution and dogma). I think that's for every human being to utilise, we have it within ourselves. We can do it the way we feel inclined and it can be something real and objective for us. And you can have that connection in your life that can help you see new opportunities.

    Most of all I think it's about the right type of activity. Don't let yourself be half-hearted within. See what you can do, how you can lift yourself, see what brings you down and try to deal with it/ avoid it. And act!

    It really seems to me that you can do it if you really want it.

    Wish you all the best,
    Pau
     
  15. Sorry to add a new comment, but I just came across this song that I like. Think it has a relevant message for a new start:
     
  16. Thank you for the support bro.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  17. Wow Pau. That was emotional. I have nothing to say. You are right in every single sentence.

    That was a huge post and a must read for everyone who is trying to cope with this situation.

    You just consumed an significant amount of time to help me. I won’t forget that. And that can be one of the reason that I should stop this.(For the sake of this post).

    Thank you :)
     
  18. Well it should not be something to brag I think but, She said that she enjoys the time with me and she does not give a fuck about the money. And she was not an ordinary escort. She was the type that we can consider as luxury-high class. So she invited me to where she stays in a 5 star hotel. We ate something drank something chatted watched horror films etc. It was fun.

    I think the main reason is that I treat her like nobody has treated before. I was really kind and polite to her and did not hurt her both mentally and physically. I treated her like she was not doing that job I mean I think I made her think like that.

    Now she texts me everyday. Talking about daily stuff.

    Did not visit her since the last encounter. And not going to visit by paying or for free. It is not right I think.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  19. Thanks for your post. I haven’t been with a prostitute but have seriously considered it. There is zero judgement from me.

    After going to counseling I see that the desire is really for an intimate relationship with a female.

    I guess what needs to happen with all of us is to see that using substitutes to try and fulfill that desire for intimacy just leaves us empty in the long run.

    Anyhow, your post encourages me to continue to be weary of prostitutes and hold out for a real relationship with a woman that really cares for me.
     
  20. STAR DUST

    STAR DUST Fapstronaut

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    Wow no words. If you can get it free from normal girls get it free, but I would definitely recommend dating your species.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

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