PUA doesn’t work , idea of "power” does

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by TurboBull92, Feb 27, 2020.

  1. TurboBull92

    TurboBull92 Fapstronaut

    TURBO BLOGS: #Dating
    PUA doesn’t work , idea of "power” does
    Dating is a battle for "power" and is essential for our instincts. This is not power over the opposite sex, but rather your internal self power and how you internalize it or externalize it to gain dates.
    • All relationships with women are concentrated into one concept - subconscious power. It works trying to date them, and they use power and status among each other.
    • Whether you approach a woman and introduce yourself or are the woman flaunting her new nails. Power is essential to our biology and also works our limbic system.
    • Simply put, my objective is to get you internalize your interests without letting her realize it.
    Power in the dating world is simple - Do not let her take your power at all costs. Men who give away power tend to show females they are weak and insecure about themselves. They will always follow them and not lead them as their man.

    Let's analyze some scenarios and concepts:

    1. Compliments: You may see PUA videos saying that you need pick up lines in order to create rapport with a girl.Wrong. As soon as you walk over and complement her you’ve lost .“Hi Um....I just wanted to say your beautiful. I had to come over and talk.” Your done and you’ve already lost.
    Why? I just told her she was pretty. WRONG. By saying that compliment you’ve given her the advantage and given her your power by not placing yourself on her level. You’ve placed her above you by already affirming she is better looking than you. You’ve fed into her ego and not given her a challenge. She won’t want you. She wants a man who can lead her and who can show her that he will always not subdue himself to others. By immediately giving into her ego you’ve proved your not willing to lead her nor willing to be challenge for her. This is why you should never walk up to a random girl and compliment her.

    2. Staring: We all like to look at the girl we like. Sometimes we stare and we are afraid she might notice. But staring isn't a good thing. If you see your crush quickly glance for a second. Don’t stare or look too much at her. By staring at her, you’ve already subconsciously given her your power.
    Why?: staring is a form of flattery and admiration, she's cute! Staring says “I think your attractive and can’t keep my eyes off you” You’ve already confirmed she is in control. Subconsciously you've triggered her fight or flight response and you'll be perceived as a threat. We also have the tendancy to avert your body position toward her. You should subtly point your body away from her. Some women can just sense someone staring at them. She’ll subconsciously perceive it as a threat thus taking your power and giving her the advantage. A quick glance will do.

    3. Want to go out? NO.: We've all asked a girl "I like you, could you go out with me"
    But what we are asking for is permission to date her and giving her the power of the choice. We are "asking" and showing we need the option of others to make a choice for us. Use "would" and lead the conversation instead of asking for her permission, not giving her the option to say NO. Lets observe. In some text messages.

    You: "We should hang out sometime. It would be fun."
    Stacy: "Sure :)"
    You: "Where would you want to go?" (Now your leading the conversation by asking a question, not permission)
    Stacy: "I Don't know. Surprise me! ;) ) (Allow her to choose from a few options in her favor)
    You: "Would you want to go to Stars Coffee, or your favorite restaurant?"
    Stacy: "Coffee sounds good."
    You: "I'm off Monday. 8:00 works for me.I'll see you there" (You've set a time and date, you've also set an expectation. if she likes you she will make time for you"

    4. Jealousy not flattery. "Oh wow. Cute dress. I really like a blonde in a dress." YOU LOST. By tapping into a woman's mind through her emotions you have a better chance of getting her because you're showing yourself as a challenge. She will quite literally have guys complimenting her all day. Complimenting and saying what you like is too direct and forward. There's nothing underneath the surface, no mystery, no stirring of emotions for her to strive for you and show you off to her friends. You need to create that need. By mentioning another woman is cute and also mentioning a slight opinion you can make her want you.
    Example - (Both of you are walking downtown, and see a hot blonde walk by and you look back at her) "You know. I'm not really into blondes, but she was pretty cute."
    This shows her she's not your type and she doesn't know why. It also shows her that somebody else was cuter than she was which creates jealousy. She'll have to try harder for you. The power of the situation and the power of her wanting you is now in your control.

    I hope you guys like my advice. Hopefully, you can learn from it. This is my first blog post and I will be making much more for the NoFap community.

    Comment your thoughts and join in the conversation.

    Thank you

    Last edited: Feb 27, 2020
    Gorgewalker and LordQuas like this.
  2. LordQuas

    LordQuas Fapstronaut

    Really good thread, thanks! I read it but I must admit that I think it's funny. Maybe I'm wrong, but you look like you've just started approaching women, maybe not, it doesn't matter. I used to think like that when I started approaching women. Let me explain.

    I got into PUA stuff when I was approx. 25. I approached hundreds and got rejected a lot! But at the end, I've been dating 9s and 10s, models etc.. I think you overthink your interactions with women. And if you've just started approaching them, it's normal. Over the years, the pickup community has changed. From Mystery method to a more natural type of approach. What you are describing is a kind of "in the middle" type of approach/thinking/mindset.

    I think that giving a compliment ("I think you're hot/beautiful/gorgeous..") is the best way to approach a girl. There are 2 types of cold approach:
    indirect: Asking a question, asking for help.. It can work of course but women are not stupid and generally they screen you and tell you sorry I have of BF, or not interested.. If they don't they will tell you after a few minutes and you both lost your time. It works sometimes, but what I've been told over and over by hot girls: Get to the point, what do you want?. Imagine you're on the street and a salesman approach you, you probably prefer that he says I'm selling this, are your interested? instead of What a nice day, really nice weather today? I like your t-shirt... Same thing.

    direct: You show your intentions right away, i think it's the good way because you won't loose time and you will be honest with her, she will appreciate. Girls like to be complimented, men too, everybody likes it. Girls are not stupid, if you approach them it's because you think they're hot and you want to get laid. Just be ok with that, she will feel it: it's called masculinity, being a man.

    Some things you've said are true, but I think you're playing game and you're not natural at all. Women like guys who approach them naturally, it means that the approach might not be perfect, the guy can slip a little but if she feels that he is genuine, it's gonna work. It's not really what you say, it's how you say it, your body language, your voice tonality, eye contact and everything. This jealousy not flattery thing is a kind of "Negging", it's stupid, disrespectful and outdated, it's an old technique like DHV, Preselection, it's fake. Using techniques is not being natural. It looks like you overthink everything that you say to show her you have power and you're not affected by her.. It doesn't work like that, just be cool, nice but the most important thing is that you have to be masculine and be ok with the fact that the main reason why you want to know her is because you want to fuck her. Women, expecially really hot ones, appreciate a man who is real. If you act like you said, you are actually below her and she has the power.

    This "where do you want to go" thing, I think it's better just to choose the place, she will agree, if not she will tell you. You have to be decisive. Like a man. Asking where she wants to go is ok, it depends on the context but better to choose the place yourself. Don't ask, do.

    Staring is good too, when I stare at her, she knows that I'm a man with sexual drive and usually she gets turned on, good eye contact good body language.. Just avoid staring at her like a creep.

    I think you are playing games, it's not an honest way to approach women, you use techniques and psychology "crack" to get them. What I heard from all the girls I slept with, they all said that they liked the fact that I got to the point immediately, I did not try to play with their minds, I knew what I wanted and went for it, that's it.

    I usually approach like that: Hi I just saw you and I think you're pretty, my name is XYZ.
    She will reply:
    Oh thank you my I'm ABC (then you keep the conversation going)
    Sorry I have to go, not interested, boyfriend (Then you leave)

    I use different variants depending of the context: Sorry I don't want to disturb you, I saw you..
    Sometimes I just ask: Hi do you have a boyfriend? (this one is tricky though, you have to me really tight)
    Or Hey I'm XYZ nice to meet you.

    Another good one that works really well: "Hi, I know it's gonna look strange, I'm running to meet some friends and I saw you, I think you're hot. Can I get your phone number? I'm not a psycho I promise, you can give me a fake one if you're not interested" But it's a bit canned, but really effective.

    Again, good thread! Just my point of view!
    Sorry for my poor english

    Cheers man!!
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2020
  3. Rev2.0

    Rev2.0 Fapstronaut

    Good exchange of viewpoints here. Regarding compliments, I lean towards them. I don't think there's anything wrong with telling a pretty girl she's pretty, or that she looks like she's in great shape or whatever. A lot of women work damn hard to look as good as they do and there's nothing wrong with validating that. More specific ("you look incredibly cute in that cap") is generally more effective than just "you're hot." Where the power part comes in is where it goes from there. If you're immediately qualifying yourself to her, finding commonality with her on everything (even if it's not who you really are), etc. she's gonna peg you as another guy who's intimidated by her looks and will literally sell himself out to be with her. Especially in bigger cities, hot women deal with guys like this everyday. It wastes their time and they hate it.

    On the other hand, letting her clearly know you find her attractive but also interacting with her in a way that genuinely conveys she could either tell you to f off or take you to her car and f you then and there -- and that you're legitimately OK with either outcome -- that's when you have a good chance of getting somewhere. And until she tells you she has a boyfriend or husband, proceed as if she doesn't. She'll let you know if she's off limits soon enough.
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2020
    LordQuas likes this.
  4. LordQuas

    LordQuas Fapstronaut

    I agree!
    Like I said, it's not really what you say, it's how you say it. So telling her she's hot (hot is not a good example, I would avoid that word and use another one) or that she's cute with her hat, doesn't really make a difference in my opinion. It's all in the sub communication, body language, eye contact, voice tonality..
  5. TurboBull92

    TurboBull92 Fapstronaut

    I'm really glad you guys liked it.

    This is just some stuff I've been looking into for a friend. I'm married dudes. ;)
    Been here, done this lol.

    This was more for fun and to help out some single guys.I'm glad it got some good feedback!
    Rev2.0 and LordQuas like this.
  6. lolos

    lolos Fapstronaut

    Looks like the loop digga knows his stuff.

    Couldn't have said it better. I think the most important thing is being genuine and confident in who you are, realising you are allowed to fuck up and say dumb stuff, not trying to do everything perfectly.
    Otello, Metis07 and LordQuas like this.
  7. Metis07

    Metis07 Fapstronaut

    I think there is a hierarchy and stages that almost every men go through in dating game (some stay at 1 or 2):
    1. worrying too much about girls (nice guy syndrome etc.)
    2. pretending not to give a shit about girls and self improvement (red pill, purple pill, alpha etc.) in order to get more attention from them or get girls of higher quality
    3. really not giving a fuck about girls in general and finding what YOU really want in life (I mean not giving too much fuck about what they think, being yourself in any situation, if you are ‘nice’ in reality so be it, if you are ‘bad boy’ - so be it, be stupid, funny, ugly ...)

    I think that is also true for course of our lives with perception what others think about you.
  8. ShadyPerson

    ShadyPerson Fapstronaut

    Amen to that

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