Publicly shamed - my online nudes were found out

You’re justifying it and in the end it’ll lead you to accepting that behavior again. You’re an adult man. Why do you neee validation for your penis on some site full of random people? Get a wife or a husband, whatever you’re in to to do that for you, and most importantly love yourself and respect yourself. I wish you the best brother. It’s 2022. Time for all of us to level up even more. If it doesn’t serve your higher purpose then what’s the point?

 

Dude, just absolutely don’t care what they think. Do you best at the job. If everyone hates your guts and thinks you are the worst person on earth, but you are still getting your paycheck $$$, then who cares. They can all go to hell lol doesn’t matter man

Go to work with a smile. Just stay focused on the job. If there is no proof that this was you, you can’t get in trouble. Just deny it if HR ever questions you about it

Doesn’t matter if they hate you as long as you keep getting paid

 

Did you have your face in the same photo as your nude body? If not, just say the body doesnt belong to you.


When I was like 22, I used to share photos of my GF to a site, to get some kind of attention or validation, we’ve talked it through afterwards and it’s not an issue anymore, but one thing I made sure was to never, ever, have her face in the very same photo as the body - and these were never even full nudes.


What I’m trying to say is, if you have mixed photos of your face and some of your body then there’s really no issue, nothing can prove that the body in (let’s say picture 1) belongs to the face picture 2 if you get me.

internet is HUGE, there are hundreds of thousands if not millions or even more nudes out there, and it’s growing every second - your photos will soon be lost forever somewhere deep down cyberspace.


Regarding the public shaming, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just tell them that there must have been a mistake because the nude body they have been seeing isn’t yours, and someone must have used a pic of your face, right?

 

Stay storng and move forward man

Time will heal

U know there are so much shit going into like covid, potential war, bizzare nature phenomena etc etc the list is endless so time will heal sometime somehow they wilm forget these

I remember being told to dress like a woman in ons of the event in ma office , ma boss told me so,, so many coworker took photo, some of em print it ,hang it in their home ,, they take a photo of me lot of im so affraid that photo is spread and i wass ready to hurt people back then, until now actually

But lemme tell you something scary here,,, you must leave that site, make this trauma a leeson that you would not doing it again ever in any circumstances or more bad things will come to you

Time will heal but sin is not, if u repeated your sin (active in that shitty sosmed) then it will come back to you

 

Sorry that this has happened but it's important to know that you're not alone. This has happened to other people usually, it's women but they are still people. It might help to listen to their stories and see if what they say is helpful to your situation. I've heard two podcasts where they talk to women who've had their intimate photos exposed online and you might find them helpful. Now what happened to them is a bit different to what happened to you and they're women so they might experience this differently but you might find some part of what they say helpful.

The first podcast is Terrible, Thanks For Asking where they interviewed this woman who sent nudes to an ex-boyfriend when they were in a relationship. A lot of episode is about why she agreed to send him the nudes, how it affected her once they were put online, and how people have reacted once they found out.

The other podcast is Between The Lines where a soccer players sex tape was leaked online and it's about how it affected her. She talks about how months after it got leaked she stayed in bed all day long, was constantly sick, and was wanting to kill herself. She also talks about how she got through that and got on with her life.

One thing both stories have in common is that they were expecting no one to support them when so many were on their side. Usually, we expect the worse of people but sometimes people surprise us and show us some grace.

 

That's what the soccer player said. It takes time but healing can take place.

 

Hi OP. You seem like a genuinely good person, who is going through as heavy phase of shame, pain, and guilt. I feel for you.

Yes, you made a mistake. But it was an honest mistake. You didn't mean to hurt anybody. You feel the way you feel because a private part of yourself, something intimate, was exposed to others. Everybody would feel the same in that situation.

Believe me, time will heal you. Right now, you should delete your account on that site. Looking for another job might be a good idea. Again, I don't think you're a bad person, but you shouldn't have to deal with such a hostile environment as you are doing right now.

Now, you also asked if any of us have ever experienced a similar situation. I did. In a way, I think it was worse, because I did things that were morally questionable, as I'm aware many of us did. I'm not confident enough to talk openly about it yet, but we can talk privately if you want. Feel free to send me a PM if you need to talk.

 

Hi @seafaring stranger

Hope you are doing well.

My first piece of advice is to delete the account as it's one thing you can control. I believe you've outgrown whatever help that site would have provided. Your pics may be saved or re-posted elsewhere but that's the price you pay.

Second, if your co-works know then they are being very passive about it. They are not directly confronting you so there's no need to say anything.

Third, start talking to people you can trust about it and make peace with your decision. You can not change your past but you can change how you react to it in the future.

 

Some people are just toxic and best avoided, like that coworker apparently.

Simplest solution may be to find a new job. If that's not really an option, do some research into narcissism, toxic people and that kind of thing. Stop taking any blame for the situation and consider the coworker a total enemy.

 

Time is a great healer. I had a sexting sort of addiction too, but it never got back to me thank God. I think you'll find comfort that you really are not alone. But the stigmas are tough I feel for you. Like I really feel for you. Do you have anyone close at work that you could talk with or open up with? That would help.

Also, if you can make jokes about it and prove that it doesn't bother you people would think that's funny. Stay strong man.

 

One can argue that nudity and sexuality are two different things. For example, a woman who dresses half-naked isn't necessarily someome who sleeps with a lot of men.

However, there are some societies and groups that associate or relate nudity and sexuality. Almost anyone can abuse a nudity group for purposes of promoting sex. Such chance of abuse increases when the group is online.

I don't think nudity itself is really healthy. I think nudity increases the chance of infection. Our skin helps protect against some infections, but we can sometimes unconsciously get cuts and such. And some germs can even stay on our skin for a long period of time whereupon we might accidentally contaminate ourselves. Clothes act as an extra barrier against germs and infection. Since nudity might not be too clean, I can see it being rarely referenced outside of sexuality.

Anyhow, I'm sorry that you got into this huge mess that has affected your work.