[Query] 20th day of NoFap... but nothing changed

Hi, I'm new in the forum, I sign up yesterday, and now I wanna share my experience with this challenge. Now I got 20 days without fapping... but nothing changed on me. Only were in the 10th day around sometimes, my emotions changed drastically that time because I was more than excited, and I had powerful emotions, I was experiencing a lot of tense emotions positively and negatively. And that time I Knew something about myself, I exaggerate my emotions when I'm feeling normal. I never experienced that.

But later, now, in the 20th day, my confidence and my self steem are just like the past, when I jerked off many times, I discovered the fap at 12, and I couldn't stop. My life it's a shit, well, now, In the past I've done good things. But socially i'm awkward, I've got 18, and my first kiss was in a school trip (Was one of the best things in my life, was the past year),but it wasn't the big thing, also I'm virgin... I went to many psychologists (From I was a child, because in the primary I was too hyperactive, and my classmates and teachers thought that I had autism), I always needed of other person (opinions, money, etc...), I'm self destructive-critical, I don't have self-steem, I always think about bad things: suicide (I've tried to suicide many times), the worst of me and every other person, etc... I've tried to do many things but nothing defined my passion still (I love music, but I don't know), but the worst thing (At least actually) is myself, and my terrible, TERRIBLE anxiety/depression, it's the worst thing ever... all the bad things that I commented before, are the result of this mood that I've lived all my life. Because of anxiety my life it's shit, and I feel that nothing would ever changed because of that... I don't know If I have to live with that all my life. And concluiding this, I always lived in the computers/electronic stuff, all my life too. I didn't have many friends, I'm just alone. My family was always overprotective with me (My mom over all), and I don't hate them, they've done things that other family can't do for their childs, but they also have influenced badly my mood. I really hate my life, and the feelings to be lonely, insecure, anxy, paranoic just kill me every day more, I just wanna die or just stop suffering.

I've have to do NoFap because of this. But now nothing changed... Really I don't know what to do with my life, maybe It's all in my head, however I can't face it. My question is, it's it worth it?

And Another thing, most respectively to sexual feelings about this challenge. It's normal that I can get excited compulsively?
The wednesday I went to the gym and I was doing my stuff but later I saw a woman with a big rounding ass, really It was one of the best asses I have ever seen. I couldn't stop watching it. When I went to my home, I was not jerking me off, but I was moaning (I moan many times, unconscious, very unconscious), and almost have an orgasm. It happened with this and with many other things.

I hope you can help me, please. Sorry for my bad english, I'm argentinian.

Thanks.