Question about Premature Ejaculation

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Daviesmark1, May 2, 2017.

  1. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    I have a question I have wondered about for a while.

    Masturabting increases your chances of premature ejaculation. I think I have already effected my chances of this as I can be done within like 3 minutes.

    I am still a virgin ( I'm 18) so I don't know what would happen if I had sex.

    What I don't really get though, is stopping fapping is supposed to help premature ejaculation, but if you don't jerk off for a long time I've always found you finish way more faster than usual. So how does it actually improve it? Surely you will always just blow your load even faster as you haven't done it in such a long time?

    Also, people in porn can last for like 30/40 minutes, how is this possible if they are frequently having sex?

    Sorry if my questions are kind of stupid but I'm not really sure about it.
     
  2. Premature ejaculation is a topic I know little about, but I will bounce some ideas around with you. Perhaps someone that does know can correct me if I am wrong. First of all, you must remember that masturbation is not sex. Therefore, the fact that you are done in 3 minutes does not mean that you would be done in 3 minutes when you have sex. Let me explain...

    The technique of masturbation is basically to mimic sexual intercourse. That is why, a guy will rub their fingers along their penis and across the rim of the helmet to replicate the friction from movement inside the vagina or the anus. But in most cases, when we do this we jerk off much too quickly and grip our cock way too hard. This fast, death grip results in a much quicker orgasm and leads to concerns that we will cum too quickly. :oops: Three minutes when you have got yourself into an instant gratification frenzy, may have no correlation to making love with someone over a period of time. Just a thought.
    In a similar way, I think we have to be aware that porn actors are not giving realistic sex lessons. If the director whats them to jackhammer someone for 30/40 minutes, that will happen. :eek: How they achieve that, I don't know. I just think it is a mistake to look at porn and think that is what sex is like. E.g. the penises in porn are way above the average. If your dick is 5" that's fine, you don't have to have a 8-10" cock to have a fulfilling sex life. :rolleyes:

    P.S. The other questions you raise, I shall leave to others. :)
     
    Daviesmark1 and meh1617 like this.
  3. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the helpful and insightful response as always !:)
     
  4. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the response. I think I'd just lied to quit it all together as its doing me no good. I'm not interested in taking pill or anything however.
     
  5. abel_pua

    abel_pua Fapstronaut

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    Hi Daviesmark1,

    I had the same thoughts regarding premature ejaculation. Then I had sex quite a lot, and there is in my case, a massive difference between jerking off and intercourse with a girl. If You masturbated a lot in your life by watching porn, you will have wrong expectations about sex. Normal girls are not sex professionals.

    An other important point is that a porn movie is not real. Actress and Actor don't have sex for 40 mins and most of the time the actor struggle to be excited during intercourse, it's for this reason why most of them have to use different king of product to stay excited. Porn scenes are edited, actors have break during scene etc...

    Here is a really interesting article on this topic, hope it will help you...
     
    Daviesmark1 likes this.
  6. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah:/ I am very worried about when I have sex for the time and how I will perform, because I think I am going to have some problems. Thanks for sharing that article, very true
     
  7. That is understandable Mark - I think most would feel the same if they were honest. But you are in a much better place now than you were before you drastically reduced jerking off etc. It also illustrates that it is better to have sex where there is mutual attraction and respect than a vacuous one night stand. That means that in the worst case scenario (from your point of view), she will be supportive. :)
     
    Daviesmark1 likes this.
  8. ps129

    ps129 Fapstronaut

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    its not the first time you have sex after a reboot that you should be focussing on. for one, its going to be different for each person, and second its a 'new you' so to say, so you cant predict.

    whats important is your regular sex life for the rest of your life, and it may take some 'not perfect' sex for some time post-nofap till your body and mind are rewired to a woman in a healthy way.

    PE could be for many reasons, but some can be eliminated through a successful reboot and healthy rewiring to real women. for the rest you may need to see a doctor, but atleast then you'll know its not because of PMO, which even a doc cant say for sure
     

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