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Question!!!! Feeling weird a few days in...

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Let'sDoThis2016, Jul 28, 2016.

  1. Let'sDoThis2016

    Let'sDoThis2016 New Fapstronaut

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    About 5 days in now... I'm engaged to beautiful woman, she knows I'm quitting (it was my idea to quit not hers). But today and yesterday I'm feeing SUPERB short tempered and anxious with everything, including her. I don't like the way that makes me feel. At least with fap I could have a release and control my urges. These short tempered feelings are also accompanied by strong urges to use P/fap. Is this normal? These feelings scare me. I'd love some kind of assurance that this is normal initially and will get better... Any insight?
     
  2. IGY

    IGY Guest

    You bet. These are the initial withdrawal symptoms that are commonly experienced. How long it goes on depends, to a large extent on you. For example, some guys keep going around in circles. They relapse within a week, time and time again. Therefore, the body gets another dose of what it wants, then there are some days of abstinence and it is withheld and the body recreates the same feelings of irritation and anger. It is much the same as cold turkey from hard drugs! :(
     
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  3. i_wanna_get_better1

    i_wanna_get_better1 Fapstronaut

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    The detox period last a few weeks. And even a couple months beyond that you will have mood swings. Porn addiction causes structural changes within the brain similar to cocaine addiction. Recovery goes beyond mere abstinence... it involves changes in feelings, thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Patience is required for the brain to finish going through it's swings and return to a calm state. As time passes the mood swings will become less severe.

    What you are feeling on Day 5 is normal. Try to find a way to bleed off all that negative energy - journal, exercise, take the dog for a walk. Take precautions - don't be alone, don't be on an electronic device, find distractions. Allow yourself to be human... ride it out and have faith that tomorrow will not be as bad.
     
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  4. Let'sDoThis2016

    Let'sDoThis2016 New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks guys. I guess these new feelings are just scary... I guess with the addiction I was able to "function" in a way, and now without it my brain is going crazy. I love my fiancée very much and I'm doing this because, like many of us, p has just gotten my brain used to the constant variety and as a consequence I don't feel nearly as excited about my mate sexually. I've done my research and know this is a process, but damn it's hard! And scary. I guess it's just nice to hear from some real people talking in response to my specific feelings. Thanks for the reassurance and I will keep up the good fight!
     
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  5. i_wanna_get_better1

    i_wanna_get_better1 Fapstronaut

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    I had to view my addiction like an evil version of myself. It knew all my thoughts, all my plans, and all my weaknesses. It's like playing against someone who knows all your moves before you make them. Your mind will play tricks on you to get you to relapse. Don't believe any of the lies you try to tell yourself. It may start with thoughts of 'compromising' or 'I'll just take a peek'. You might have overwhelming impulses that will try to overwhelm all your defenses. You might have thoughts that you might die without your porn. You may doubt your strength, determination, and courage.

    During your detox our body will keep dumping chemicals into your system and you will have a physical response. But just remember that dopamine stays in your system for about 10 minutes. When you feel like you can't hold out any longer just hold out for another minute and then wait another minute and eventually the urge will pass.

    Just remember that every day you stay clean is one day closer to your goal.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2016
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  6. Diomedes

    Diomedes Fapstronaut

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    It's normal.

    I'm about a week from my last orgasm and feel like acting like a little bitch. While I think I got it somewhat under control, I'm guessing it still shows that I struggle while dealing with really petty stuff. I read from a couple of books that it takes about 2 weeks to recover from an orgasm and the instability it causes in one's feelings.

    Remember what someone's dad always used to say to everything: "This too shall pass."
     
  7. lfromcr

    lfromcr Fapstronaut

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    Completely normal when any addictive substance is halted" sugar, drugs, and ESPECIALLY PMO, which I believe goes deeper into the brain's wiring (since 1/2 the brain is dedicated to the visual sense).

    Do pushups or anything that depletes anger/rage, and when exhausted, see what other feelings come up. This could be VALUABLE time to not only get through it, but to discover what has been lying under the pile of "virtual bodies" this whole time.

    PM my hubby (@jfromcr) if you need to. He's got six years and a closer relationship because of it… (the relationship is with ME, btw. Ha Ha)

    You. Can. Do. This. (It's even in your name, @Let'sDoThis2016).
     
  8. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

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    Everyone else has said your irritation and anxiety is normal, but I just have to weigh in with my own opinion.

    It's normal.

    Read people's reboot logs, focusing on their first few weeks. Read mine. We're all whiny ogres for a few weeks. It helps that your SO knows, so she doesn't think you are angry with her or that it is her fault.

    Stick with it. There is significantly reduced irritation and anxiety at the end, compared to what you experience while regularly using P. It just spikes when you first quit.

    One other thing I did to help was quit social media and news. People constantly b*tching at one another about stupid stuff (and triggers) in one, and nothing you can do about the terrible sh*t in the other, so why bother?
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2016
  9. Bobrov

    Bobrov Fapstronaut

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    As for me, I find driving harder than it used to be. Since I started my reboot it turned out that there are so many idiots on the roads... I just want to hit them all with a hammer, shot them, hang them and then shoot again AARRGH!!!

    So yeah. Not only you get mood swings, but you also become a psycho. I hope not for long.
     
  10. Hanging by a thread

    Hanging by a thread Fapstronaut

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    I give you alot of credit for 1) admitting you have a problem 2) sharing it with your SO 3)actively trying to do something about it rather then wine and continue on. I suspect you really love your Fiance and she is the catalyst to have you search for help. As a SO of an addict I can tell you it is very helpful to have a person you love know, understand and help you. I hope you will be as open and honest with her as possible, without that the relationship will only drift. It is in times when my bf is honest to me that I am able to move on in support. As hurt as I have been about some things I know and some things he thinks I don't know, it's the lies, not the sickness that breaks the bonds. So as embarrassing or hurtful you may think things will be try to share or admit to her, in my perspective you will only grow together if you know together or she will never truly open her heart because she can't trust you.
    On your question of what you can do, from what has worked with my bf is keep busy, exercise, go for walk, do errands, find a good hobby, don't stay alone and don't spend prolonged periods on Internet if not necessary (although he does do more fb then I would like him to, but that's a battle for another time). Get blockers and accountability software or a partner to check in with. My bf and I read together most nights on addiction or self help books. We recently even tried yoga. The trick is to change and fill old bad habbits with good ones, dont leave yourself feeling empty or isolated or "the same old way". One great thing you can do is go on YouTube and watch the motivational videos made like by p chan, etc... when you are feeling triggered, my bf has found the videos very helpful. Doing something together with your Fiance will not only educate you but will bond your relationship by sitting together without it being just sexual. At the end of the day, you need to be rewired to not thinking sex all the time about everything.
     
  11. Man, so glad I'm not alone. These withdrawels are there because we always fapped when we felt bad.
     

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