Question for guys on this forum

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Caged_bird, Oct 21, 2020.

  1. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    your overall curiosity is very mesmerizing and almost everyone gave an answer from the bottom of their heart .reading this thread was interesting.

    frankly answer to these question are not black and white and depends upon many things first and foremost that individual, then culture, religion country bla bla bla.

    but I would like to put forward my own experience and the way I know men

    Yes, most guys internally regret hurting girls. But, they will pretend otherwise. Because for we men many times looking cool in fellows is more important and that is the reason, we guys generally behave very differently with fellow guys and with our girls.
    this depends purely on the guys and cannot be generalized.Yes, there are people who select partners looking at material things like money career etc but that is true with girls also I guess. I have a friend who always admired well-settled girls and there are many who search for other things in girls when they want to find a partner

    ....

    I think probably because Almost all of us, most of the guys I know or seen , wants to have many physical partners that too casual one. but this is not that easy. Girls tend to seek more emotion and love. for settle in life they choose other types, trustwothy , conservative etc
    few tips.....

    1.don't share bed way too early, make him earn it. Those who are easily available or share intimate momments are not respected that much<it may sound blunt ,but true>
    2.The person who loves always try to solve your problem, and the person who has lust, will take advantage of your problem to make you sleep by showing sympathy but not doing anything for that. so try to share your problems and test. genrally lustfull guys will run away if he has more of responsibility <pain> than gains<u know what i am talking abt>
    dont go with any preconceived notions. Enjoy the moments and take your time.We guys are equally insure in dates and there is no fix rule i guess.....
    hahahahhahah really not at allllll



    Your questions were too interesting though.....loved answering them.
    3.The lustful in one way or other tries to take you in the same direction ie physical one
    4. Generally who respect other women will also respect you and lustful will be lustful for all but will show you that you are different.
     
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  2. Caged_bird

    Caged_bird Fapstronaut

    Your answers were really great as well..
    I am sorry I was a bit late in replying
    But i loved reading your as well as everyone's reply over here
    Ya it really is interesting.. Helps us get to know other people's perspectives..
    I as well as other girls really enjoy and learn reading the answers

    Sure

    Ya I guess..
    Deep down we are all humans

    Thanks for the reply..
    I guess materialism is mostly in girls than guys but yes it is in guys as well

    Appreciate the honesty..
    Yes it is true that girls are mostly after emotion and love but regardless of the gender we should always choose trustworthy partner if we really have to settle down. That's really important

    Thanks

    Thanks you for your wise advice
    I will definitely try implementing that problem tip
    Pardoned., I didn't that line
    Pain than gain - (you know what I am talking about)

    Thanks for the wise words
    I really like your line. Lustful will be Lustful to all but will show you that you are different..
    This is so Damn true (especially the bold part).
    Thanks for answer
     
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  3. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    Thanks buddy, writing ans was also a pleasure.....
     
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  4. ChrisDiaz

    ChrisDiaz Fapstronaut

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    All answer all question since my case, my personality

    1) Do guys regret hurting a girl? If yes do they make amends or just let go?
    Yes. Sometimes men (especially in adolescence and youth) act without think about the consequences of your actions, and depend the person and the case, he can make amends or just let go. I have a friend that a hurt, she just let go of me and I respect it

    2)are guys materialistic when it comes to girls they wanna settle down with?
    The culture of machism has taught us that: if you have many women, you are a great man. Sometimes only men just want a woman to hang out and boost their ego.
    Personally, I always felt uncomfortable with this perspective, however, my addiction to porn led me to see women just for pleasure ... now I know it's the worst thing in the world.
    But, if he want to settle down with her... the common thought says that he love her, but depends the person.

    3) why do most guys wanna flirt and play girl but wanna settle with opposite ie innocent, chaste etc
    Sometimes seeing a "helpless" woman can be very exciting. Why? I'm not sure but I have two hypotheses; the man feels comfortable protecting the people he loves, perhaps seeing the woman with whom he shares a love relationship as a girl who needs protection excites him.
    The other is that feeling that you know more than someone increases your ego, in this case the chaste girl, not knowing about sex, is interesting to see her reaction when starting in this world.

    4) why do guys hate all girls or objectify them after suffering heartbreak?
    I got to do it right with the friend who hurt. The short version is that she was my best friend, we shared many things, however she established a relationship with another man and I felt that she lost her affection. Basically everything comes from jealousy, lack of self-esteem and confidence in himself and the other person. We blame the other person because it is the easiest way to release our anger and helplessness of not being good enough to be with het.

    5) how to differentiate between love and lust of guys?
    The lustful man asks for thins, the man who loves you gives you everything

    6)any advice for females regarding dating etc.
    I have not been in a relationship, however what I ask in a relationship are two things; SINCERITY above all and COMMUNICATION
    Always tell the truth, the lie is worse, always the truth
    And of communication, I know that many women think it is obvious what they ask for but it is not a joke when I say that we are very stupid and clueless in those details, if you want or need something, ask for it with all its letters, if something bothers you or you have concerns, say so with all its letters

    7) if a sexy image is shown to a guy and then he says he isn't able to remove his image from his mind... Is he into pmo? (I know it is not relevant... Sorry)
    I have a theory that men are more visual, regardless of whether they are addicted to porn or not.
    In any case, if that image causes that effect, it is most likely that it appeals to one of your fantasies ...
     
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  5. I do, but I'm not sure about others. I apologized to one girl I hurt, and it made me feel good about it and she seemed to accept my apology.

    If you're talking about sex, I would say that sex is an important part of a relationship for men, but probably not the most important part of the relationship.

    Not sure what you mean by this. I don't know why some guys value virginity - maybe it is jealousy or something pathological. Or maybe men are attracted to the idea of owning a woman sexually and having rights to her body that no one else has, kind of like buying a new car vs a used one. The more I think about it, the weirder it sounds. If a guy is displeased that you gave your virginity up before meeting him, I would consider that incredibly selfish.

    That's a very extreme way of putting it, and not entirely true. All men have emotions just like women, and sometimes bad experiences can make people become negative. I was that way for a certain amount of time, but snapped out of it. Certain men have a harder time letting go of those feelings, and it makes them irrational and bitter. Look at the post history of @neverpolitcallycorrect for an example of someone like this. I'm sure you know how to identify people like that if you are writing this.

    For example, if they use a lot of scientific language when talking about women's dating preferences, or reference Jordan Peterson, or use the phrase "red flag" a lot, chances are that they are insecure about previous experiences and are trying to avoid getting hurt. Usually these kinds of guys are not stable and you want to avoid them.
    Encourage your partner to be honest and open with you about his feelings. If he seems to be focusing on sex during most of your interactions with him (i.e., wants to get laid every time you see each other), and he avoids speaking with you up front about things, then you might be dealing with someone who doesn't love you as a person. There is no guaranteed way to tell if someone loves you, but you should try to communicate as much as possible.

    If you feel like you aren't getting enough affection - tell him. Don't try to please him or sacrifice your time and effort to do more things for him with the hope that he will appreciate you more. And NEVER use sex as a bargaining tool to get him to spend more time with you. If he cares about you, he will do that on his own.
    As for getting a boyfriend? I don't know, just take care of yourself appearance-wise, and try meeting people with similar interests. For example, if you aren't looking for one-night-stands, don't go to a bar/club.

    That could mean any number of things. Maybe he is complimenting you, maybe he is just horny, I have no idea.


    Lastly, it seems that you have convinced yourself that sex before marriage should be avoided. In response to this, I will leave you with a quote from Bertrand Russell.

    I should not hold it desirable that either a man or a woman should enter upon the serious business of a marriage intended to lead to children without having had previous sexual experience. There is a great mass of evidence to show that the first experience of sex should be with a person who has previous knowledge. The sexual act in human beings is not instinctive, and apparently never has been since it ceased to be performed a tergo [from behind]. And apart from this argument, it seems absurd to ask people to enter upon a relation intended to be lifelong, without any previous knowledge as to their sexual compatibility. It is just as absurd as it would be if a man intending to buy a house were not allowed to view it until he had completed the purchase.
    Bertrand Russell - Marriage and Morals
     
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  6. neverpolitcallycorrect

    neverpolitcallycorrect Fapstronaut

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    Such kind words i am realy flatterd by it, I am glad to be your HERO , glad you liked the posts
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2020
  7. Caged_bird

    Caged_bird Fapstronaut

    Some do, some don't..
    I have accepted it and the ones who do apologize and make amend are the good ones obviously if done right on time not when you have destroyed everything
    No I was talking about money
    Thanks for your POV
    I 100% agree with it :) thanks for sharing your views

    I definitely do.. Obviously it took a lot of learning to reach this point

    I am able to recognize these guys now.
    And yes I agree they are not stable

    This is wonderful advice :) thank you so much for it... Learned a lot

    Yes I would like to add, don't go to the fire if you don't want to get burned
    It wasn't my pic lol..


    I am just trying to follow my religion.. But respect your POV
     
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  8. Ahiphena

    Ahiphena Fapstronaut

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    I don't think you're going to be satisfied with our answers. Everyone here has a totally different background and view.
    However I'll give my personal thoughts.

    1. Yes. I don't intentionally hurt anyone, at least no one I've been in any kind of close relationship with. I'll try to make amends but that's not always a possibility, so sometimes letting go is the only option. This is a very personal question as everyone handles situations like that differently.

    2. I'm not sure what you mean about materialistic. I'd have to be attracted to that person, but that isn't the only consideration obviously. I assume most men fall into this camp.

    3. There isn't an answer to this question. Number one, the guy interested in flirting with these women may not be interested in settling to begin with. At least not during that time in their life. Also flirting/casual sex isn't the same as starting a family with someone. Personally being "chaste" isn't a requirement for me but she would have to be similarly invested in the relationship and not sleeping around.

    4. Most guys don't. I haven't done that. The reason it may seem that way is that the guy who doesn't hate all women and moves on has no reason to discuss it, whereas the guy that hates all women does. So you just don't know about every guy that gets his heart broken and moves on. Also there are a lot of MGTOW people on this site, and most of them don't actually hate women but instead feel like its not worth pursuing a relationship with women.

    5. I think that should be obvious. If he only cares when he's expecting sex, or at least validation, its not love.

    6. No useful advice that hasn't been covered by someone else.

    7. Biology tells us to be attracted to women. Most men are attracted to most women. So yes, 99% of men will have some amount of difficulty erasing an image of an attractive person from their mind. It doesn't mean they're going to jerk off or start looking stuff up on their own, though.
    That being said, most men are into PMO. You're going to have a hard time finding a guy that isn't into it at all. I don't envy you, lol
     
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  9. Caged_bird

    Caged_bird Fapstronaut

    No I obviously learn more with each entry in this thread... I really appreciate you all for all your point of views
    That's great.. I like that :)

    I was talking about materialistic as in having a wealthy family background or well paying job

    Great advice ..

    That is some quality advice over there.
    Men that hate women are usually the one who haven't moved on from their breakup.
    If he hates the entire gender based on one experience, chances are that he is still hurting

    Good advice

    Thank you... I just want a person who respects me a lot.. I don't want to be objectified that's all I want..
    And i want to invest in guy that really deserves it Coz most men I have invested in where.. Let's just say not worthy of investing at all.. But that's past... So :)
     
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  10. Caged_bird

    Caged_bird Fapstronaut

    Hey you got privacy there.. I can't see your posts ;)
     
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  11. Well this might be a little late, but I also wanted to give my two cents on the matter.

    I think that depends on the situation, but for me yes. I do really regret hurting her. I remember thinking about making amends a year or two later, but in the end I think that she probably didn't want anything to do with me. So yeah I've been trying to let it go.

    I don't really care if the women I love is either rich or poor. I would love her for what she is and not for any money she might or might not have. If that's what you meant by materialistic Miss Fighter.

    Well it's my inexperienced opinion, but that sounds like a man who doesn't really want to settle down. Again I could (and probably) be wrong.

    Well it was quite the opposite for me. When the breakup happened, I really began to hate myself for causing so much pain to her. It still something I'm dealing with.

    For me, love is staying with the one you love through thick and thin. Love is self-sacrificial. Lust is someone who just sees you in a very sexual way, and not really caring what you are on the inside.

    You're asking the wrong person for that question Miss Fighter

    No. A lot men are really attracted to the female body. Although if they were to get into P by that image then yeah it is bad.

    I hope I helped in some way.
     
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  12. Caged_bird

    Caged_bird Fapstronaut

    Oh so bad... I hope you got a learning experience out if it and she did as well:)

    That's great quality I guess

    No you are 100% right i guess... It also depends whether the guy is serious or not
    You should stop blaming yourself. Everyone makes mistakes... Apologize to her and move on esp if she has moved on

    Thanks for input

    :(

    Thanks

    Ps - sorry I was going through extreme withdrawals+ depression so.. Didn't even had the energy /motivation to reply to any message... Hope you understand
     
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