Question for Married Guys

I too once thought that when I got married the urges, triggers, and acting out would go away. The truth is quite the opposite. There are plenty of times when one partner will want to be intimate and the other won't be. I naturally gravitated to PM when this happened. When I got married the stresses of everyday life and the added responsibility of being a husband became an excuse to act out even when I did have opportunities for intimacy with my wife. It sounds like you're in a good place and these urges to be intimate with her are normal. Stay strong! The wait will be worth it!

 

I can second what @ImprovingGinger said above. Single men and women have it relatively easy, as Paul advises in Scripture. They can have a single-minded focus on the Lord and just shut off their sexual desires for good. They serve no purpose for an unmarried person.

But a married person must keep desire alive, in a very limited fashion, in order to maintain intimacy with their spouse. This desire can be the ground where temptation to PMO takes root and produces a bitter harvest. I know this was the case in my own life for many years. Learning self-control in this situation is difficult -- but possible! The Spirit will guide us into all Truth.

While you remain single, I would recommend tamping down that sexual desire. It will only lead to heartache until it can find its proper expression. I can guarantee you will have no issue stoking the fire back up when it is needed. Until then, do what you can to starve it. I am praying for you both and cheering you onward to Christ!