Question for parents of young men

@RealLifeGamer, well said. I totally agree with you. I haven't got children myself, but I've got nieces... and I can't help shaking with fear when I see how long they spend on their tablet/smartphones and really wish I could warn them about the danger... but I really can't, it's their parents job and not mine.

Does anyone really believe that children will not access porn at some point on their devices? There's no chance, they will! Some will cope, some won't.

So if given a choice between sending them into the wild unprepared or at least trying to warn them about the risk I wouldn't even think about it for a second.

Guys, think about it. A massive percentage of us got exposed to porn in teenage years way before the internet was around.

Now with broadband being everywhere, add the natural curiosity of a teenager... there's NO WAY they won't be looking at porn at some point. Even if you set up a bulletproof defense at home and on their devices (which is honestly almost impossible to actually do) they'll still be able to access their friend's devices and there's no chance each and everyone's would be porn-free.

It's only a matter of when it will happen, and how prepared they'll be when the time comes. Making it a taboo subject, adding guilt and shame only make it worse and even more dangerous.

 

Yes, this is the question all parents should be asking. Once P was out of mind and out of sight. It was perhaps best not to talk about it openly because that would have eroded the sense of public shame. This was once powerful in helping to check the P habits of men. But times have changed; P is out of the bag and published everywhere now, and super accessible. And so parents have to have that talk as much as they do about sex education. Kids need to know that you know what kids are up to in the privacy of their bedrooms. And they need to know that you DISAPPROVE.

 

Whatever you do, do not tell him about your personal struggle with P. As a parent you are there to guide him in the ideal, to be an authority in his life, NOT to be his best friend.

Your son need not get into P if you educate him. Educate... as in 'lead out'.

 

Yes, your relationship with your son is important. Your son will not look at P because he admires you and wants to please you.

And a life full of communication and loving relationships will be less susceptible to addictions such as P, which often come when seeking to fill the void.

 

Wow, I am so touched by your story. My kids are 15, 18, and 22. We have had an open dialog around porn, I guess i looked at it from the lense of my own life, checking out friends Dad's magazine collection, working at a video store as a teen, watched a hell of a lot more porn then most kids I knew, especially my girlfriends
I didn't get addicted to it, and I thought curiosity about porn for most was like mine, in the past 30 years I have gone years without looking at porn or going into porn shops etc.
my husband recently confessed his addiction to porn, it was a shock, but also made a lot of sense to me, I thought he had been pretty depressed for the past 5-6 years (which he was).
Anyway, now I am freaking about the kids, my husband wants to talk to them about his experience, he bought three copies of the time magazine talking about porn for young kids, to send and give to the kids. For the looking I have done these past few weeks I see that it is never too early.
Upendit, there is always hope, connecting with people is a rush, you can retrain your brain to remember that. Lots of support here, take it in!