Question for the guys....

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Deleted Account, Aug 8, 2021.

  1. My point wasn't that withholding sex makes you more attractive, it was that men, generally, would be more willing to abstain from sex for a decent woman (if she wants to do so) than for a slutty/low quality chick - where they would likely just try to screw her ASAP and leave.
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  2. Vanquisher12

    Vanquisher12 Fapstronaut

    Agreed, @Gina3111 it’s not true. @p1n1983 is one of those ‘red pill’ relics of ‘macho culture’ that appears to think seducing women on the first or second date and then leaving her is what makes you a ‘real man’. In reality it just makes a man a player, and players are the real weaklings of the male gender. They’re spineless, selfish and commitment-phobic. However, not all men are like that, indeed a good portion of men are strong and have options, but are also gentlemanly enough to want you for genuine love and only sex once the romance is fully in the air, as I and others have said before.

    He’s right about freeing yourself from your addiction before getting into the dating scene, that’s why we’re here after all and it will make a difference, and avoiding dating apps being havens for men who want sex, but everything else in his post is wrong, at least if you want a sincere, committed, long-term relationship with a man who wants the same.

    Keep to your mission, good lady, and don’t settle until you’re sure any beau you find will be loyal to you and respects you for who you are.
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2021
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  3. @Gina3111 I had to stop reading this thread. My short answer is "YES YES YES !!". But I turn 59yo today and several weeks ago I paid a young woman $100 for a cuddle session. Fully clothed, platonic. Touch is a powerful sense.
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  4. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

    online apps are even more sexualized. You can meet relationship material people there but is rare.

    Age? guys in their teens can hold their seed longer. Guys with 20 or more years old that are popular and have options are not going to wait for you. They are going to be with the woman that are pretty, fun and willing to have sex.

    Attractive don't mean masculine guys that have options. There are lots of attractive guys that are totally femenine and are not good with woman at all. They are going to lie to you telling you that they don't want sex yet just to be with you. They are afraid that you are going to let them go if they tell you their real intentions.
  5. This is good to know! Yes, touch is important. I miss being touched!
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  6. iamShinra

    iamShinra Fapstronaut

    Same My Friend
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  7. Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

    Just be up front and honest about your expectations. If they can't handle it then it's their problem, not yours. Some will handle it, others will not.
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  8. jaycja

    jaycja Fapstronaut

    To be honest, guys like that are out there but you’re not looking in the right places. And speaking from experience, finding the right places might require you to change how you think about sex and relationships overall
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  9. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

    For once, and I hope you don't take this as an insult my dude, but I completely agree with @p1n1983 . Online dating apps are a terrible place to look for a steady relationship, and guys will absolutely lie to you about what they want or expect in hopes of getting in your pants.
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  10. oh believe me, I wouldn't be doing anything on the 1st or 2nd date. I was thinking cuddling, touching, etc. would be like the 3rd date or so. Most likely later. I'd definitely need to know the man quite well to feel safe to do anything like that.
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  11. You sure attacking others makes you any better?
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  12. UncleBarnacle

    UncleBarnacle Fapstronaut

    I am a patient man, and I attribute what success I've had with women to that. As one person recently said "You're the only guy that doesn't want something from me." Just your company, my dear, and to listen, and talk, and get to know each other before something that can bring another human being into the world - sex.

    As far as intercourse, my last real girlfriend and I waited a whole year. She was a virgin at age 27 and I was patient, no pressure. It was worth the wait! Wow.

    That said -

    Cuddling, caressing, sleeping together in pajamas with no sex required, canoodling, yes, yes, and yes.

    My former cuddle buddy and I were so close, running through stores chasing each other, constantly holding hands or arms around each other, that people thought we were red-hot lovers. Nope.

    Re: Oral-

    I don't really care about blowjobs, unlike some men. They're nice, etc, but it's not my "thing."

    I'm also a demisexual - turned on by emotion and without it, it's dickus deadus.
  13. ElSabio

    ElSabio Fapstronaut

    I'm 50 so take my options with that in mind. For a long relationship with a good woman I would wait a long time. However, when I was younger it was very tough to wait. Testosterone is a real thing and extremely powerful. It was all byit impossible to override it much to my detriment.
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  14. UncleBarnacle

    UncleBarnacle Fapstronaut

    I should also add I am a student of Tantric sex, which stresses (among other things) delaying orgasm until the last possible moment, in order to prolong the ecstasy of two beings entwined, devouring each other, totally, with complete surrender. So one learns that despite a pounding pickle, delaying its explosion makes the explosion more explosive, explosively speaking. :D
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2021
  15. Chokejoke35

    Chokejoke35 Fapstronaut

    For me it is absolutely Okay. I think every Guy is different. I like to have a Connection to the Girl i have Sex with before i do.
    I am the slow Kind of Guy
  16. Adding to this. @Gina3111 About a week ago I paid a "session wrestler" for a non competitive wrestling session. We were fully clothed, her in a one piece swimsuit. She was about the same size as I but very experienced with jiu jitsu holds. She TOTALLY dominated me. I was unable to resist and I SO MUCH enjoyed it ! I now understand how my brain got hijacked by porn. I have no one to hold but here's this PMO thing instead. And now PMO dosn't work for me because what I really want is another wrestling/domination session like I had. The O is good in PMO but what I really crave is touch of a woman. I am single, not in a relationship, looking unsuccessfully. I was not even aroused by the wrestling session or the cuddle session several weeks before. The wrestling session was the closest to sex I've ever had. Telling you that for perspective, not to make me seem sad.
  17. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    It depends on why is she delaying it. If simply she wants to know me better and she really feels a strong connection with me. I have no problem waiting.

    But in the other hand she has some type of sexual problem, she doesn't like sex or physical intimacy, she is playing games to be hard to get, then I don't like that.

    I have waited a year or more to be physical with a girl, sometimes it was worth the wait others it wasn't, but I usually know when is not worth the wait, especially if the girl is playing games.

    I usually wait for the girl almost ask me to go for the kiss or to have sex.

    All this being said there is nothing wrong or sinful about sex and it makes part of a healthy relationship.
  18. Daxos

    Daxos Fapstronaut

    If you state your intentions early on and clearly, I would not mind. I would appreciate that you have standards, know what you want and have some self restraint. I am not a hungry animal that needs sex or whatever right now. Connection is much more important. Sex is only good and amazing if there is a bond and I've already had too many unsatisfying sex on first dates that I actually hope a girl won't put out on the first date anymore. A build up of connection and tension makes it all much more enjoyable.

    Hookups always sound nice, but do they ever make you happy? For me they didn't
  19. AI7

    AI7 Fapstronaut

    No matter how deep you are in the relationship, a woman has every right to give or withdraw consent at any given time. She is not obliged to offer her body for sex to any male, men should also respect this otherwise they should be rotting in prison. From your post, if that is the most you want to do with a guy, then the guy should never push you to do more. It's ok for him to ask for sex and then it's up to you if you want to give consent. Men should NEVER pressurise a girl to do what he wants.
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