Question on fapping and addiction

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Steve78, Oct 15, 2014.

  1. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    @dad

    pmofree (or no pmo) means no porn, no masturbation and no orgasm.
     
  2. Dad

    Dad Fapstronaut

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    So, question to everyone here- does this site support people who want to QUIT PORN ONLY? And therefore use alternative methods from 30-90day totally abstinent "reboots".
    If the answer is no, then I should not be here
     
  3. IWantABetterLife22

    IWantABetterLife22 NoFap Moderator

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    People want to quit different things in the end and use different methods to get there. I'm only quitting porn for now, but eventually I'll move onto total abstinence from PMO.
     
  4. hms74

    hms74 Fapstronaut

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    @dad I did ask the same question... but then think about the name of the site "nofap" which means "no masturbation"...
    it was wrongly recommended in the book which was about quitting porn addiction... not to mention that the book didnt mention religious reasons either...
     
  5. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    dad and hms74,

    the question for you would be - are you addicted to fapping (without porn)?

    try to search out this. i would not say that you are addicted if you are masturbating once or twice in a month. you are definitely addicted when you are masturbating once or twice every day.

    by the way i am not a fapping-scientist. :)
     
  6. hms74

    hms74 Fapstronaut

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    yes I still have to figure that out as I never really masturbated without porn (well on webcam a lot yes but almost the same)
     
  7. Dad

    Dad Fapstronaut

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    Until 6 weeks ago I was fapping once or twice per day and using porn. As of Sept 7 I have fapped about 6 times with zero porn. I have had sex about 5 times with my partner.
    I thought that this was all about porn addiction. I don't want to participate here if I can't be open about my comfort with masturbation. If seems to ruffle feathers and I'm not that guy.
     
  8. Dad

    Dad Fapstronaut

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    Do you have an opinion about openly advocating masturbation on this site?
     
  9. I would stay away from both. Every time I can remember that I choose to fap without porn it has always one way or another led me back to watch porn.
    (If you start with an A you've got to continue to the B. And then C and so forth.)

    Cut out both and keep your mind occupied and only let a partner give you the sensation you're most defiantly gonna succeed.
    Also, if you feel the NEED to fap you should most defiantly not masturbate. Only when you really want to. But that "wanting" should be far away at the moment.

    Hope I helped, cheers!
     
  10. Steve78

    Steve78 Fapstronaut

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    @Dad: I think you are just fine on this site. Personally, I really appreciate your thoughts and believe it is immensely important to keep an open mind at this. We all have in common that we are addicted to masturbating to porn, but each one of us has to travel this road his/her own way. Some of us -like me, for instance- still don't know what way suits them best. Only one's own experience (and being honest with oneself) will tell. And thanks to the different views on this site we can all profit from one another - even if it means dismissing the approaches we offer one another. Hence, I'm glad you're here and hope you'll stay a while :)
     
  11. Steve78

    Steve78 Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys,
    Just wanted to thank you again for your posts on this thread. After thinking this over a while, I've decided to stay on hard mode for 82 days (i.e., until the rest of the year). It will be interesting for me to see:

    a) how I'm going to react to girls until then;
    b) if there is any change in the way girls react to me; and
    c) whether I can keep it up if I do enter a relationship with a girl I like and say: "no sex until the new year"

    This is certainly a challenge I'm up for :D After that, we'll see... Will keep you posted! A very positive thing I've discovered about this addiction AND especially this forum is that it is so easy to find the motivation to challenge and thus experience yourself in completely new ways.

    Again - thank you so much for your perspectives and advice!!
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2014
  12. OSU32

    OSU32 Guest

    I don't masturbate period. A Fapstronaut summed it up with "the site is called Nofap (which means no masturbation).
     
  13. anthrope

    anthrope Fapstronaut

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    For me it is two weeks of nofap now, with at least one wet dream in the mix. I can feel the strength and sense of purpose within myself from just this much. I have learned so much more about addiction psychology during this time, since I am replacing many of the PMO urges with learning about what is causing the urge in the first place. At this point my semi-informed opinion would be this:
    1. Addiction is always about self image. There is a deeply embedded sense of not being worthy, and this usually manifests as a powerful feeling of insecurity and need for some form of closure.
    2. The addictive substance (porn, coke, C2H5OH, food, work) fires up the reward center in the brain. As a child, the addict stumbles upon this, and finds how pleasurable it feels. So she/he starts repeating the behavior in order to feel the pleasure again and again, simply to achieve the closure that their inner insecurity demands.
    3. Long term addiction rewires the reward center in the brain, and only the addictive substance appears to fire up the reward center, but only when the dosage is increased. More coke, more food, more porn or more variety in porn, etc.
    4. It is possible to start rewiring your reward center. Being mindful is a very good way to set about this. Each time the open ended feeling of insecurity shows up, which you usually fill with the addictive substance, be alert and mindful as long as you can. If you fail, that's okay, as long as you remember to be mindful just a little more each time.
    5. It is possible to entirely reverse the pathology to the brain caused by addictive behavior, simply by being aware of the behavior as it manifests. Again, mindfulness to the rescue. The intense discomfort of resisting your addiction is actually because your addiction related neural network is firing on all cylinders, and your reward center is demanding a hit. Once you start seeing your discomfort as brain rewiring, you start slowly being okay with it. This process takes time for most people.
    6. More mindfulness meditation = more results. Learning to simply be in the present moment, and learning to gently nudge your attention back to the present, no matter what thoughts drag it away, is your best bet against any addiction. Once this faculty of moving your attention from a thought to the present moment becomes established, you can do so with ease when the addictive thought shows up.
    7. Addiction removal is only a fraction of the story. There is a wonderful life full of love, friends, harmony and energetic accomplishment that being addiction free is all about. To actively start living this life without waiting for the addiction to be gone is the proper way. Every added measure of energy you get from not indulging in your addiction must be devoted to living your ideal life. Now.
     
  14. I too have this problem,not being able to have on orgasm with my girlfriend on the times we have had sex,dont know what it is exactly but my problem seems to stem from TMS (traumatic masturbation syndrome).A bad habit that introduced me into world of fap.The only way fro me to reboot is quit PMO first,then quit MO since it is MO that I am mostly addicted to.
     
  15. ianm54

    ianm54 Fapstronaut

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    I agree fully with monkotto. It is NOT the masturbation in it's self which is the problem. It's when masturbation or other forms of sexual behaviour take over your life and become an addiction that is the problem. The problem with these type of addictions is they are neither understood or accepted by the majority of people which means many sex addicts go without help and/or support.
     

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