Question time

I would say you have to abstain from all solo sexual acts myself, this is called nofap afterall and I dunno if you can ejaculate whilst doing it "up there", but I reckon masturbation (fapping) is needed?

 

Well it's up to you pal, I won't tell anyone to not do something if they're adamant, but I believe you asking tells me you're not sure on it yourself. I believe as an addict (I don't know if you would clasify yourself as one) it's just an escalation of problematic sexual behaviour.

 

In my opinion I would abstain from all forms of masterbation for a awhile. There's a reason why you have a serious masterbation problem. And if you don't use your hand and go with butt stuff instead you're still not looking at the real problem. There's a reason, or a root that you need to find. What are you hiding from , or trying to numb and distract? Do you feel shame ? Low self esteem ? Anxious all the time ? Do you do it more.l often when you're stressed ? Have you looked at your childhood ? Any trauma you can think of ? Are you fearful of taking a hard look at the reason why you started masterbating and how has it been helping you ?
There's a reason why. And it's served as a tool to help when you were younger with something. But now... You're realizing in the long term is actually destructive.

1) find the real reason
2) be brave enough to process old feelings , thoughts , trauma
3) learn healthier tools that aren't as destructive !

 

Great to have you here! The first step is something that most people rarely do, so congratulations already.

I can immediately give you the advice you need, because you've presented something that we all tend to do at the beginning of recovery - believing that we can PMO (or just one of those) and still recovery. The answer is simple: NO!

So, if you really want to heal from the addiction refrain from any form of PMO. Believe me, these are the last things you need in your life.

And, don't get the wrong idea about orgasms. Of course, in the future you can have sex with your loved one, but until you're addicted, it's only going to hurt you all drastically slow down your process of healing (say, instead of 90 days, you're going to need let's say two years). So, this 'O' in PMO means orgasm induced by anything that doesn't have to do with normal sex, even thoughts that bring you to mmasturbation.

Dedicate yourself to the idea that you'll never PMO in your life again, and become a free man. Cheers!