Question to NoFap Community

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by SmokeyRamble, Dec 14, 2019.

  1. SmokeyRamble

    SmokeyRamble Fapstronaut

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    Hi all. I just joined a few days ago. I’m on day 4 of NoFap. Had some crazy dreams last night lol. Gonna be difficult today after work I suspect, but I might workout to help with the cravings.

    ok so here’s my question: If the point for most (it seems, based on reading threads) is to not masturbate ever again or perhaps rarely ever again, why the counting of the days and talk of relapse etc..? I’m not questioning anyone’s “program” or strategy, I’m just curious what others are hoping to accomplish in their personal journey- to control masturbation and/or use of porn, or is it to never pleasure oneself ever again and never cum unless you have a partner..?

    I ask because I’m questioning and trying to nail down just exactly what I’m trying to accomplish too.

    The idea of a reboot sounds like what I want if that means my brain’s approach to sex resets to some sort of normal mode, where I’m not ravenously awaiting alone time to masturbate but instead am able to control my sexual desires and channel that energy toward self improvement and yes, finding sexual and intimate experiences with a partner.

    I have access to sexual partners so it’s not that porn and masturbation are my sole avenue for sexual release, but I believe I might have what we believe to be called PIED, to a degree. It isn’t horrible but I’d like to be able to have the kind of erections with a partner that I have when it’s just me.

    Sorry this message is getting long in the tooth...just wanted to hear what other people on here are truly aiming for: abstinence forever from PMO, moderation, or something else..?

    glad to be here!
     
    Marshall 5 likes this.
  2. Fork2323

    Fork2323 Fapstronaut

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    I want true freedom and abstinence forever! I have Never been able to do moderation, and for me it Always rapidy accelerates into hardcare addiction and ruining my life. Im 51 and i have been fighting this addiction since 14 when i 1st rubbed one out. It gets worse and worse as time goes on. I have never been able to controle moderation. Everyone I know from sex addiction 12 step groups who have any real recovery have over a year with no masturbation. All the people that do that seem to lear healthy functioning lives, make good money, have a loving partner, and seem stable.. All the people who still jerk off and say they dont have a problem with it seem more miserable and functioning at lower level and just getting by in life.
    My goal is to be Free of this addiction and have a loving healthy sex life with a partner.. But every time I relapase it sets me back and I only attract sick messed uo women.. Dont end up like me and 51 and still single. Take this seriously as this addiction will ruin your life. If you can stop now Do It.
    Yes counting days is great. It lets you know what you have accomplished. And if you slip and relapses and then get back on track you have a road map of what you will experience at 2 weeks, 2 months, etc. Like for me, day 4-5 of withdraw is the worst and i am super cranky and find fault with everyone around me, at 2 weeks I start to feel better, at 2 months I feel Amazing and love my life.. So i know my cycles.. You get to learn yours and what to expect, plus will learn your triggers of what can lead to a relapse for you and learn to avoid those things. Like for me energy drinks and nightclubs lead to a slip. Or being around my family and parents for longer than 4 days during the holidays.. You get to learn yours.. Good luck.
     
    Fenix Rising likes this.
  3. Fork2323

    Fork2323 Fapstronaut

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    Here is a pasted response from another thread that explained the value of keeping track.. This is not mine.. Its from another member..

    "Yes, multiple flatlines are common in people with serious addiction problem. I'd say there isn't one recovery paths that fits all, because everyone of us has a different PMO abuse history (I had problems with almost daily (P)MO binges for 25 years /38yo). I browsed back through my daily "monkmode" journal and this is what I found out (I kept accurate records for the first 6 months of my current streak):

    day:
    0-13 -> mostly flatline (3 weak morning woods)
    14-44 -> flatline (1 morning wood)
    45-84 -> occasional urges (13 days of morning woods)
    85-120 -> occasional urges (14 morning woods)
    121-150 -> flatline (1 morning woods)
    150 - 189 -> occasional urges (17 morning woods)

    As you can see I experienced multiple flatlines during first half year of recovery but you can notice gradual improvement.
     
  4. SmokeyRamble

    SmokeyRamble Fapstronaut

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    thank you very much for replying. I hear ya. I got sober in AA 4 1/2 yrs ago, so I can relate to what you are saying about abstinence vs control.
     
  5. Your question is good because it forces people to really think about their goals!
    I am hoping that the temptation to watch porn again eventually goes away. I have my own strategies to manage this, and I know will power isn't sufficient to manage the urges.
    I still have strong urges to masturbate. But I have masturbated (mainly to porn) since I was a little kid. I want to reduce it to maybe once or twice a month, tops. I want to get to Jan 20 without masturbating. That will be a year since I began the nofap journey.
    To think that I masturbated about 25 times this year is kind of amazing. I sometimes would have done 25 times in a week not so long ago. Good luck on your journey. It's tough but worth it.
     
    SmokeyRamble likes this.
  6. SmokeyRamble

    SmokeyRamble Fapstronaut

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    Wow, 25 times in a year, ya that’s pretty dope!
     
  7. w95chris

    w95chris Fapstronaut

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    Personally I'm looking to reboot my brain and not think of just sex. To be able to get the morning wood that I've never had (Seriously, I don't ever remember having) and to be able to get the real me out there. The me who loves romance and is confident, kind and a truly loving person to all of my friends (and not only). It takes a long way to go but with small steps, I am sure that I'll do it. Well that and become a healthier version of myself not because of societies stereotypes but because I want to do it.

    I think that everyone's goal should be something they truly want to do. Not something that you were pushed to do or copied others. Even if it takes a lot of effort just try out many things to see what fits
     
    Ogikubo likes this.

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