Hi I am also a kind of sissy addict... Once I was completely disgust by the idea but it grew on me and I somehow get addicted. Yes I don't really wanted to be anything like the hypno says but do it only to satisfy my urge and also I get excited about thinking about some of the thigs.
I also realise that I am objecting myself. Usually I objectify women, and thing badly about women but in the sissy world I am objecting myself, degrading myself and humiliating myself. I now understand how women feels now when we objectify them...
I also understand and have to understand that being women or wearing women dress is not degrading because women are not below us.. It's only degrading because I will look ridiculous in it and others will shame me and its not the current fashion..
What I am going to do for the next few days to flush out the dangerous, self abusing thoughts maynot be for everyone..I am first going to read alot about objectifying women and how we are affecting them. Then I am going to masterbate to porn that does not objectify women. I am going to associate my urge to porn that does not objectify woman or anyone for a week.
Then I am going to stop everything. Change my phone to basic phone, giveup my Laptop charger and develop good habits.
I will start my pledge to nofap after I learn more and associate and flush out my urges.
I trying something new here because I failed so many times on changing my ways